


What would Loki do? - Act 3

by LucyGodwing



Series: What would Loki/Harley do? [4]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Avenger James "Rhodey" Rhodes, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Canon Divergence - Post-Thor: The Dark World, Deaf Character, Established Relationship, Father-Son Relationship, Gen, M/M, Magic, Married Couple, NaNoWriMo, NaNoWriMo 2019, Not Thor: The Dark World Compliant, POV Loki (Marvel), Parent Loki (Marvel), Parent Tony Stark, Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Set in Winter 2013/2014, Shapeshifter Sleipnir, Shapeshifting, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-30
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:53:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 53,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21622519
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LucyGodwing/pseuds/LucyGodwing
Summary: Act 3 of "What would Loki do?" starts after the changed events of the Dark WorldLoki is back and has a lot to deal with. A broken bond is the least of those things. The resulting deafness he can live with as well.The events that made the bond break can no longer be pushed aside. Will they ever tell the overprotective Thor how that happened?And what of HYDRA? Have they come any further in figuring out how to deal with them?
Relationships: Clint Barton & Loki, Harley Keener & Loki, Loki & May Parker (Spider-Man), Loki & Sam Wilson, Loki & Thor (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark, Loki/Tony Stark, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Series: What would Loki/Harley do? [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1446508
Comments: 55
Kudos: 23





	1. Bright Skies

**Author's Note:**

> I'm back! And it's already have set, when it'll end... This Act that is. After that an "Interlude" will follow, as Act 3 will cut of... shortly after "Winter Soldier", which is two months, don't worry, I got my calendar, and my two new ones. ;)
> 
> I'm really excited what you all think, I finished NaNoWriMo with over 90.000 words instead of the needed 50.000, which I had, like I knew, by November 10. I hope to have worked out a few kinks, any wrong words, etc. People are starting to get nicknames in phones, which is... exciting? And Asgardian/Asgardians are now called Æsir by the ones using the common tongue. And Norns is now always written with a big "N".
> 
> It will (hopefully) not be a huge roller coaster, and if you think I'm not addressing something, please comment. :)
> 
> In General, please comment, I love comments!

Loki dropped hard to the ground, in front of Tony, he guessed. Guessing was all he _could_ do, because he quickly closed his eyes at the bright surroundings. “{Light}”, he whispered, before feeling big arms around himself. The man, who could not be Tony, spoke, he could feel the vibrations through his body, as he was pressed against the wide body. Loki could feel himself whimper, as something was put around him, darkening his surroundings, so that he shakily opened his eyes.

Thor. Of course, he should have known. The man had draped his cloak around Loki. Loki huddled close to the warmth and held onto him, as he felt a firm hand on his back, before Thor lifted him up and Loki protested with shouts. Thor’s body shook and a look up told Loki, that he was in fact laughing. Loki shivered a bit, not knowing what was going on, not knowing where they were and he tapped on Thor’s chest, making the man look under the cloak, letting a bit of light in, making Loki squint his eyes.

“{Glasses?}”, he asked, and Thor frowned for a bit, before looking away. Loki clung to him with one hand, still trying to compose himself, before he was handed a glasses case. He opened it and put the pair on, the mission one. “Thank you, Brother”, he whispered, his voice a bit broken and Thor smiled back at him.

“Anything for you, Brother.”

“J.A.R.V.I.S., are you there?”

‘Always am, Loki.’

“Great… Uhm, do the glasses have a function to darken my view?”

‘Like sunglasses?’

“Yes.”

‘I will activate it for you.’

“Many thanks”, Loki breathed and looked up at Thor, who was watching him worriedly. “Hey.”

“Hello, Brother. Can you walk?”

“Do not dare carry me like a damsel in distress, I will stab you.”

Thor laughed rumbling and Loki laid his cloak where it was supposed to be, on Thor’s back, before turning to the people surrounding them, his eyes quickly falling on Tony, his heart rate quickening at the sight of the backhanded man. His gaze was soft, as he felt the need to pull the shameful to the ground looking and embarrassed emotions transmitting man into his arms. All the Avengers were there, as well as Jane and Darcy, who gave him an excited wave. Loki waved back, a bit perplexed, before taking in the place they were in. The curtains were closed in the tower, at least he thought it was the tower.

He locked eyes with Clint and signed to him: ‘The tower?’ Knowing full-well not all people around them would understand sign language.

‘Yes. Home-base.’

‘Is it my home again?’, he asked and Clint hit Tony in the side, making Loki flinch a little as well, watching Clint point to Loki and he stared into the hazel eyes, that he loved so much, supressing a soft smile, before asking: ‘Am I home again?’

Tony was shaking, before nodding quickly. Loki sighed deeply, before sinking against Thor.

“Okay, you may carry me to my room, I will talk to everyone else later, Jane and Darcy have dibs. And I require sustenance, if you’d please, chop-chop, what am I, your boss?”

Their faces went soft and Loki locked eyes with Tony, before eventually sending him that soft smile, he could not be forced to hold back by any of the disapproving looks, especially Steve and Clint.

‘It’s going to be alright’, he signed to Tony.

‘Thank you’, the man signed back.

‘I saved her.’

‘You did.’

“Brother, can you talk later? I wish to get you to bed. All this flirting must stop for the moment.”

Loki rolled his eyes and Tony snickered a little, before Loki turned to Thor. “I was not flirting. Go on then, carry me. But be gentle, I have not eaten much in, I truly don’t know how long.”

“Two weeks”, Thor said.

“Two…” Loki frowned, taking in the crowd again. They had confronted Tony. It was obvious. Had the man not wanted him back? “Dear?”, Loki asked carefully towards Tony, who perked up.

“Y-yes?”, the other asked.

Loki shook his head. “Forget it. I hope you’ll explain it later. And have a damn good explanation, why I spent two weeks away.”

“Yes, Loki”, Tony said, lowering his gaze.

“And dear?”

“Yeah?”, Tony asked again, not looking up.

“Don’t try to pretend, it makes me feel numb. Face me as yourself.”

“Uh, yeah, will do.”

Loki sighed and turned back to Thor to let him lift Loki up and carry him out of the room.

“I did not know you needed glasses, Loki”, Thor told him, when he brought Loki downstairs.

“Breaking bond, Thor. It happens. I cannot hear you. The glasses show me your words.”

“I was not told the full extent of what you and Anthony have been through, Jane had asked me to be here, for an event to give thanks.”

“Thanksgiving? Goodness, I really have been away for two weeks.”

“Almost. Supposedly it is next Thursday. All the fun things happen on my name day this year.”

“Name one thing, Thor”, Loki growled.

“Fandral and Svaðilfari were sentenced on a Thursday.”

“I got choked that day and Sif had to save me.”

“Your first mission was on a Thursday.”

“I got thrown down a building and inserted a parasite in my head that made me try to kill myself.”

“O-okay, maybe those days weren’t all that fun for you.”

“And before you try, Brother, Runa was born on a Wednesday, while I got stabbed in my dreams on a Thursday. Your name day is a curse to me.”

Thor pouted. “It is not my fault.”

“I never said it was. What day is it now?”

“A Sunday.”

“Good, good, could you maybe give me a bath, if it would not bother you too much?”

Thor brightened up. “Yes, of course, Brother, you are filthy.”

“I pissed down a seemingly endless cave.”

Thor bellowed and pressed Loki a bit closer, before J.A.R.V.I.S. told the brothers, that he was already letting in a bath in his bathroom.

Darcy held onto Loki tightly, when the two ladies came by with food. Loki let a smile escape him, before he pulled her closer and pressing a kiss to her temple.

“How are you Loki?”, she asked, handing him the box of ice cream and a big spoon.

Loki chuckled a little, before taking the two items and leaning against the back of his bed. “I’ve been better. I barely slept in there.”

“Was that the bad future you got stabbed from?”, Jane wanted to know, opening a box of cookies on the side table.

“It would have been. Originally. Could have been, until I went to Svartalfheim.”

Jane thought for a moment, absentmindedly handing Darcy a cookie. “Dead planet, goes around a black hole?”

“I believe so.”

“The place we were in, was that a result of that?”

“No.” Loki shook his head. “I always intended to find a way to get there _with_ you.”

“Came to us, cause of that, right?”, Darcy deduced, and Loki nodded.

“That was my intention, yes. I had to insert myself into your lives to get there.”

“Smart”, Darcy said, nibbling on her cookie, “Eat your ice cream, Lo. While it’s still cold.”

Loki smiled fondly at her and opened the box, ramming his spoon into the hard, supposed cream. The coldness filling him was satisfying and he sighed contently around the spoon. Darcy snuggled into his side.

“So, what _would_ have happened, Handsome?”

“I do not know the full details, because supposedly I would have died on November 14, but Jane would have touched the Aether and it would have probably hitched a ride in her. The Dark Elves, they would have taken it out, because they wanted the power for themselves. Killing them… Punishing them for something they had yet to do, it also killed off that scenario. From what I could tell, it would have overtaken you.” He looked apologetic towards Jane.

“Could it have killed me?”

“I am not sure. Probably would have depended on the Aether liking you or not.”

“So, it is sentient?”

“They all have a bit of sentient nature in them, yes.”

“All?”

“I think that explanation will call for a history lesson taught to all Avengers. I will not give that lesson five different times.”

“Five?”

“Uhm… I think… Nat, Clint, Steve, Rhodey, you two at the same time…”

“Bruce and Tony know?”

“Yes. I involved Bruce at one point, he had no grave details and after I got stabbed, I did not include him again. And Tony and I exchanged memories in umm, May, I believe. Before his birthday.”

“And Beefy knows, because he’s an alien?”

“Because he was taught on Asgard, yes, though reminding him was followed by an eye-roll. He did not concentrate on his studies as much as I did.”

“Yeah, you’re a book-nerd, while he’s totally a jock.”

Loki raised an eyebrow at Darcy, before carefully answering: “Yes. Exactly.”

“Wait, you got that reference?”, Darcy asked, jumping up on the bed and staring at him brightly.

“I have spent years on Earth, dearest Darcy, I sadly _do_ know the countless movies about American high schools in which there are different cafeteria tables assigned for different groups of people.”

“Oh my god, Lo, we can watch so many movies!”

“And sing along to all the songs like teenage girls?”

“Yes!”, she shouted and threw her arms in the air, making Loki giggle.

With a soft smile he listened to her chatter on and on about all kinds of things that were going on, and her friends, even after Jane had already left. Loki enjoyed the not-total silence. It wasn’t that he could hear her, but he could feel her vibrations through the body that leant against him.

Sometime after emptying the box of ice cream, he must have fallen asleep, because the next time he woke, it was not Darcy next to him, but Steve, who was reading a book.

“Stevie?”, Loki asked, and the blonde looked down at him with a smile, where Loki laid curled in his lap.

“Hey there, Lo.”

“Did I do something?”

“No, just sleep. Want more food? Darcy left the cookies.”

Loki shook his head, before sitting up and softly leaning against the man, who carefully laid an arm around him. “Is Tony the bad guy again?”, Loki quietly asked, hoping desperately, that Steve would tell him differently.

Steve sighed and looked at him, before putting his book aside and moving Loki to sit sideways on his lap. “How old are you right now?”

Loki did not like this, but they’d done that, used the question since Loki had called Clint ‘Dad’ by accident one time the two Agents were hanging out with them at the apartment.

“Fourteen… Thirteen, maybe…”

Loki hated that he slipped into a younger mindset like that, he was a thousand-year-old Jötunn, for Norns sake.

“Alright, Lo, you want to be there right now?”

For a moment Loki wanted to shake his head, but then he remembered how angry they could be, if he lied. Slowly he nodded and Steve let his hand run down Loki’s back.

“Tony’s not a bad guy, Lo.”

“But he hurt me, and you were all angry.”

“Yeah, we were, but this is a whole different situation. From what Rhodey told us, he tried to call out for you, the minute Jane told him that he could. Nobody told him, you couldn’t hear.”

“Nobody…”

“He only got told this weekend, by Rhodey. Apparently, he needed to concentrate very hard to get through to you. He had to talk to Heimdall to figure that one out.”

“Goodness…”

Steve smiled a little, before his smile turned sad. “Rhodey said, he thought you died. He said, Tony blamed himself, that he hated himself, could not look Runa in the eye, wouldn’t take any call from Harley and denied seeing Sleipnir, whose been coming to Earth every now and then. Rhodey said…” Steve took a deep breath and pulled Loki close. “Rhodey said”, he whispered against Loki’s neck, “he shut off J.A.R.V.I.S. and tried to kill himself.”

Loki paled. He tried to wriggle free, out of Steve’s tight grip and, in the end, transformed into a snake to slither away from him, before stumbling from the room in his original form again. “J.A.R.V.I.S.”, he shouted, “Tony. Now!”

‘He is in his lab; do you wish me to get the elevator?’

“Yes. Now.”

Loki almost fell twice more, before reaching the elevator, that was already waiting for him. He slumped down at the side, breathing hard.

“L… lab, J…”

‘I have alerted Bruce and Tony that you are on your way to them.’

“Fine, okay, do what…” Loki took a deep breath, before coughing. “Do what you must, J.A.R.V.I.S.” The thought of Tony attempting to kill himself, had thrown him out of his younger mindset, quicker than anything ever had.

“Lokes?”, Tony asked above him, having stepped into the elevator with a worried look on his face, Bruce next to him. Loki looked at him, like he was a ghost, before softly gripping his ankle and gulping after catching his breath.

“Is… is it true?”, he asked, his head heavy, as it hit the elevator-wall.

“What? I have no idea what you’re talking about, Lokes.”

“Did you try to kill yourself?”, Loki asked, searching for Tony’s hand, as the man paled.

“Who told you?”

“It does not matter, did you?”

“Yes.”

Loki’s face fell and his gaze went to the ground. “You bastard”, he breathed, before looking up and smiling crookedly. “You’d leave our daughter an orphan?”

“Lokes.” Tony slipped onto his knees and sat in front of Loki, taking his face into his hands. “I’m sorry. I’m so, _so_ sorry.”

“Do you still wish to?”

“What?”

“Die?”

“No. I’ll never ever try that again, I promise. Cross my heart and everything. You’re back, that’s all that matters, even if you don’t love me, can’t ever forgive…” Loki pushed himself forward and placed his lips on the ones of the mechanic. It was hesitant, slow and oh so soft. Loki sighed a little, before letting go and looking at the man.

“Don’t ever, _ever_ do that to me again.”

“Promise”, Tony answered with a shy smile, “Are we good now?”

“Good?” Loki laughed loudly, though it pained him a little. “Oh honey, we have a lot of shit to work through, before we’re _good_. I’m sure the guys have given you a list. I have gotten mine. All locked up right here.” Loki tapped at his head.

“I bet I have more than you”, Tony joked and stuck out his tongue, making Loki giggle, before his smile grew fond.

“You didn’t know”, Loki hushed, and Tony gave him another questioning look. ‘That I’m deaf’, Loki signed, ‘That’s why I was stuck for almost two weeks. Because nobody blabbed.’

Tony chuckled. “They’re too good at keeping secrets.”

‘It almost killed you’, Loki signed, with a sad look on his face. Tony nodded and then pressed a soft kiss onto Loki’s cheek.

“I’m okay.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“Get in line. I don’t want to lose you either.”

Loki snickered and pulled Tony near him. “So, is it a safe bet to say that you are okay with seeing me again?”

Tony pressed Loki’s knuckles against his lips. “I want to be like before.”

Loki sighed and shook his head. “It won’t ever be the same.”

“Can I make it better somehow?”

“What? This?” Loki pointed to his ears.

“No, this, everything between us.”

“I won’t force you to do anything. My door’s open. I’ll hope you come by sometime. I… I need to rest… And sleep and drink. Some people might be overprotective, but you’ll figure out a way to get around them, right?”

“I’ll come by, Lokes.”

“And we’ll talk about everything I’m too exhausted to talk about right now?”

“Yeah, yeah, everything.”

“And don’t pretend, okay, not with me, feels like I have something in my throat that wants out.”

“I’m not pretending.”

“Not right now, no.” Loki smiled at him. “J.A.R.V.I.S., mind getting me back up on my level and a ride back to my room?”

“Will do, Loki. Do you want to get off, Sir?”

Tony frowned. “Since uh, since when do you call Loki ‘Loki’ again?”

“Since he requested so, after your argument. He believed you wanted to divorce him.”

Loki blushed in embarrassment and Tony paled. “Oh shit. Lokes…”

“Don’t worry about it, Tony”, Loki said hastily.

“I’m not, by the way. If uh, you want to…”

“I want to try and fix it first, okay? I’d say, I’m rather good at fixing bad futures.”

“Yeah, okay, thanks.”

“Sir, do you wish to get off or face Mister Rogers?”

“Oh fuck”, Tony cursed and placed a quick kiss on Loki’s cheek, before bolting from the elevator. Loki snickered a little. “I love you, Lokes”, Tony said from the outside and Loki nodded slowly, as the elevator closed.

Steve was very gentle as he brought Loki back to his room. He didn’t ask any questions, just watched him for a while as Loki ate a full family-pizza, only when Loki yawned and crawled back into bed, he finally spoke up.

“I pushed you out of the mindset, didn’t I?”

“Don’t worry, Steve, I’d have hated to learn about it much later on.”

“Still isn’t right, I asked you and you wanted to stay.”

“He doesn’t know about that either, does he?”

“We haven’t told him.”

“Maybe you should. Or well, maybe you should hold an Avengers meeting, _not_ sharing got us into this mess.”

“You didn’t want him to know that the bond was breaking.”

“Am I the only skilled liar around here? You could have easily come up with it being an after-effect from being frozen. Me trying to make it seem like that for weeks at end would not have worked, but as a quick lie, Steve, _please_.”

Steve sighed and Loki softly patted next to himself. “I don’t like lying Lo”, Steve said, as he sat down.

“Clint could have done it. Clint would have been the person he would have trusted with the word on that probably too.”

Steve sat down next to him and Loki shifted a bit smaller, before leaning against the man, laying his head against the man’s chest.

“Can you all hold an Avengers meeting, please?”

Steve let his hand run through Loki’s shoulder-long hair. “Alright.”

“So… What else is going on?”

“Well, I heard a lot of people wanted to come by, Clint’s approving a list and will come with questions to you, once you’re a bit more stable and maybe not regressing as unexpected anymore. If you don’t want the people to see you that way, that is.”

“Kay. Will Kate come by too?”

“I can ask. Maybe she’ll call, she works hard.”

“Bet she’s a bit sad, that her eye-candy isn’t home.”

A look up to the man’s face showed Loki, that Steve was blushing immensely.

“Sorry, shouldn’t talk like that.”

“It’s fine, Lo. You wanna sleep now?”

“Yeah.”

“Take the glasses off?”

Loki nodded and Steve helped him with them.

‘Thank you, Stevie’, Loki signed to the man.

‘You’re welcome’, Steve signed back and Loki held onto him, letting him pull a blanket over his back. Steve’s breathing was steady and slowly lulling Loki to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> edit 15.12.2019: Capital letters are annoying. Overuse of "Brother"


	2. Self-made Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is having nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know much about triggers after torture and rape, so I'm working of the most logical things that come to mind, that were already discussed between Tony and Loki before.  
> Tony's scared of swimming (even though they have a pool) and Loki feels better with a wall behind him, so he knows, nobody can get him from that direction. It's all about control.

Loki was thrashing around, when he woke up. It was cold and dark, cold and dark, cold and dark, cold and dark… Had he only dreamt of making it back? What a cruel thing to dream.

“{Cold ‘n dark, cold ‘n dark, cold ‘n dark, cold ‘n dark}”, he muttered, hitting his ears. He was mad, right? Because of the broken bond, because he wasn’t bonded anymore, because Tony had killed himself. “{Cold ‘n dark, cold ‘n dark, cold ‘n…}”, he whimpered until he felt something.

Something on his hands, on his wrist, something soothing. Loki rushed to the feeling. Were those… Was someone touching him? Someone was touching him. It was better than being alone, but it was also worse, someone was touching him. Loki recoiled and threw himself against another body at his back. Screaming, he threw out his arms, pushing everything away, before looking for a surface, something hard against his back.

Slowly things came into view and he made his way into a bathroom, barricading himself in the tub. Once there, he frowned a little, especially at his hurting stomach, that wasn’t _his_ hurting stomach. The tower. He was in the tower. He was in _his_ room, in _his_ bathroom, in _his_ tub.

He had blasted the people around him, Loki now realised. Tony had been there. He had thrown him away.

“{Shit}”, Loki muttered and got himself out of the tub, crawling to the door to peek through it. “{E-Everyone alright?}”

Tony held up a weak thumbs-up, as did Steve after another second from the other side of the bed, before saying something to Tony, who knelt and grabbed the glasses case, easily throwing it to Steve, who pushed it over the floor to Loki. Quickly Loki put the, still mission-glasses on.

“I’m sorry.”

“We’re all good Lo, right, guys?”

“Yep”, grunted Clint from around the corner. Thor was the first at the door and opened it fully, making Loki flinch back.

“Do not touch him, Point Break”, Tony said quickly, and Thor looked around confused.

“My brother is hurt, Man of Iron, you will not deny me to tend to him.”

“He had a panic attack”, Steve answered, “Don’t touch him, Thor. Go out, get him some food and something to drink, please.”

“And maybe the sleeves and the tights Frigga made for him, kay?”, Tony added, “Your Seiðr acting up, Lokes?”

“Uhm, the what?”, Loki asked baffled, not just that Tony seemed to have spoken the word for his power without flaw.

“Frigga made you a pair of sleeves and tights with umm, something, I don’t really know, because you overuse so much and wrapping and rewrapping your body might get tiresome”, Tony explained.

“Tiresome?” Loki chuckled and Tony blushed. “Yeah, uh, Brother, you should get those too, please.”

“Alright, if it will help.” Thor nodded and quickly left, making Loki slump down with a loud sigh.

“C-Clint?”, Loki asked shakily.

“Yeah, yeah, right here.”

“I might need you.” Loki let his head drop into the direction of the room, seeing Tony’s frown instantaneously and evaded his eyes. “Stevie, mind getting Tony into the med bay?” Tony’s frown got bigger and Steve nodded quickly, getting up and helping Tony onto his feet.

“Yeah, Tony, you can see him later, okay? I’ll explain it to you at the med bay, that okay, Lo?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

“No problem, Kiddo”, Steve told him with a smile.

Loki blushed a little, while seeing the two men leave and Clint getting into view.

“Thor cushioned my fall”, the man said with a snicker.

“Least he’s good for something”, Loki told him and held out his hand. Clint pulled him up and wrapped his arms around the shrinking Loki.

“Dad’s got you, you’re safe, Lo.”

“And home?”

“Safe and home, yeah, not cold and dark anymore. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Don’t wanna sleep, Daddy.”

“Didn’t say anything about sleeping, Lo. But the bed’s better for cuddling.”

“Kay, Daddy, bed then.”

Clint helped him up on the bed and then rolled him into the blanket, making Loki giggle the whole time. When he looked up at Clint, the man had a fond smile on his face and Loki shied away a bit, making Clint pull him close.

“No getting away from daddy’s hugs, Kiddo.”

Loki giggled loudly again, and Clint pressed a kiss on his forehead.

“So, tell your daddy how old you are.”

“Nine”, Loki lied badly, and Clint raised an eyebrow at him. “F-five”, Loki stammered, and Clint took a deep breath.

“Phew, never been so little before, right?”

“No, Daddy, sorry, Daddy.”

“Shh, it’s alright, Kiddo.” Clint’s hand buried itself in Loki’s hair and the raven-haired one sighed contently.

“Thank you, Daddy.” Loki closed his eyes and pressed his head against Clint’s chest. Clint softly rubbed his back and Loki sighed again, before letting a puzzled look fall on his face, as Clint pushed up his head.

“You gotta stay awake, Kiddo, food’s coming.”

“Oh no”, Loki murmured. “Thor.”

“I’ll handle him. You seemed okay with Tony being here, though.”

“I know we gotta talk, him and me, we talked a bit yesterday, after Stevie said some things.”

“About Tony? I know he and Rhodey talked, but he didn’t say what about. I think Nat knows though.”

Loki nodded slowly. “‘bout Tony, yeah. So, I talked to Tony. We’re not divorcing, by the way.”

Clint dramatically wiped his forehead, making Loki giggle again.

“And he loves me, and he doesn’t want to lose me, and he’s sorry”, Loki rambled on and visibly turned older.

“You’re very excited about that, aren’t you?”

Loki nodded. “And I can see him again. He wants us to be like we were before, but I told him that it wouldn’t be the same.”

“You’re pretty harsh.”

“Well, it might be good, but it can’t be _the same_ , you know?”

“You want to work through everything with him?”

“The hitting, it only happened twice, Dad. I know, one is more than enough, it shouldn’t _ever_ happen, but we were very good, he’d never lay a hand on me in a normal situation. And the first time I provoked it.”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“We _knew_ we’d fuck up. We fucked up a lot in the beginning.”

“Language, Son.”

“I think I told him, that, if I hurt him, he should make sure I know.”

“Doesn’t excuse it.”

“I know!”, Loki shouted, before looking away. “Sorry, Dad, didn’t mean to scream. I just… I still love him, Dad, you know I do. And I have to do everything not to tell him that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Wanna hold him close, Dad, wanna smell his scent when I wake up. I know I should check, if I’m just doing it because of the marriage and Runa and the other kids, but I love him, Clint, I’m sure of it. I was so afraid he’d thrown me away, while I was over there. I didn’t think of the kids before I thought of him. He thought I was dead, and I _knew_ he might think that. For a moment I thought so myself. I thought I was dead, that I’d died. I couldn’t feel him at all. I felt so fucking lonely. Not because I was there, but because _he_ wasn’t there with me. Even after we fought, he was still there, I could feel him, even though he hurt me and feeling him hurt me, but I felt so lonely without him.”

“You just aged up, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No need to be. You okay with it though?”

“Are you okay with me loving him?”

Clint chuckled. “Guess so. But you have to talk.”

“We know. I’m not letting him any closer than maybe a chaste kiss until we’re done talking, deal?”

“Deal. But if he ever, _ever_ hurts you again…”

“I’ll tell my daddy”, Loki finished with a wink.

“Good. I still slapped him, though.”

“You slapped him?” Loki was gaping at Clint.

“He hit you. You’re _my_ kid, he can’t just hit you.” Clint’s fingers ran through Loki’s hair and Loki leaned against the man again.

“Is this really…”

“Yes, Loki, this is okay”, the other man answered, seemingly annoyed that every second or third time Loki would ask again, if it was okay that he became younger around them and dependent on them.

“Kay.”

“Can I ask something though, if you’re now fully yourself again?”

“Go right ahead.”

“What happened, when Tony took your hands?”

“I wasn’t alone anymore. Which was okay. But I didn’t know where I was or who was holding my hands, so I wanted them off.”

“And you came against Steve.”

“Against my backside, yes. Just wanted everyone off.”

“Tony _told Steve_ not to stand behind you. Something about needing a wall around yourself.”

“I don’t _need_ a wall, but it helps, especially in those situations. Reminds me that I am safe.”

“And then you suddenly fell into the younger mindset, after coming back to.”

“That was really hard to push back, fell the second Thor opened the door.”

“You held out long.”

“It’s okay, you know I’ve suppressed it for a while now.”

“You shouldn’t need to. Being yourself is what this is all about.”

“And Steve will tell the team about that, about me being this way.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Like I will have to give a whole lecture on why I was away and what that all contains, now that my future dreams are over.”

“Is that gonna be a lot?”

“I’ll recover before I give that lecture.”

“Good.”

Clint perked up and Loki guessed that the door must have opened, the StarkGlasses did not tell him such things, which Loki still had to talk about with J.A.R.V.I.S., if he was to go on missions with the team at the moment.

“I bring the supplies. Is my brother well?”

“Your _brother_ can see what you’re saying, you dunce. I have not become blind or mute again.”

Thor bellowed and then stepped around the bed, where Clint was getting up and Loki slipped out of his blanket cocoon, taking his nightclothes off to dress in the things offered by Thor.

“Lady Natasha has made you sandwiches. At least that is what she calls these bread on bread things. She assured me that there was no sand in them and no parts of witches. I have no idea why they are called it then.”

“Nat made those?”, Clint questioned and both him and Loki raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

“Yes, I told her what had happened, and she told me these were Loki’s favourites.”

Clint peeked into the bag Thor had brought and sighed. “Oh, she _bought_ those.”

“I was almost concerned for _her_ wellbeing.” Clint snickered at Loki’s remark and then helped the trickster stand, as he put on the tights. “Mother has woven in enchantments”, Loki explained to Thor, before dragging Clint with him to the closet to find a tunic that would cover his upper body and at least his thighs. “How do I look? Be honest”, he asked, turning to the two men after putting a dark green one on.

“Like a young woman on winter dances”, Thor said, meaning it as a compliment.

“Like a way too skinny kid, come on, let’s sit you down and get you to eat those, before I give you the list of guests wanting to see you.”

Clint led Loki to sit on a chair and handed him one of the sandwiches that Natasha had bought at the Subway located near the tower.

“Mister Odinson, Mister Rogers has requested your presence in the conference room”, J.A.R.V.I.S. told the men.

“Just mine, Mister Jarvis?”, Thor questioned the A.I.

“Yes, Agent Barton and Master Stark are exempt from this meeting.”

“Oh, okay. I will see you two later then. Farewell, Brother.”

“Farewell, Thor.” Loki nodded to him and waited for him to leave to sigh a little.

“He called you ‘Master Stark’ again.”

“Yes. Now that my divorce status is finalised, it is fine again.” Loki bit into his sandwich and ate half of it, before he asked: “What did you say of a list of guests?”

“Well, we got a lot of requests of people calling for you, even more since the tower released a statement later yesterday, that you’ve made it back home.”

“Anyone not in the tower at the moment?”

“Well, all of the Avengers want to see you, course, Jane and Darcy, Pepper and Happy, Jean, Kurt and Charles Xavier. May called, Sam also. Some other people I don’t know, Tony checked them out, told me which ones he knows of, we think the others could be trolls, just wanting to meet Snowflake. Oh, and Fury is coming by too. I think he got here early this morning, if you _want_ to talk to him…”

“Contrary to everyone’s belief, I have nothing against talking to Fury, the talks I have with him are actually quite enjoyable.”

“He likes you?”, Clint asked, and Loki shrugged.

“I would not know such things; I rarely ask such questions. I wish not to know a denying answer.”

Clint thought for a moment and grabbed a sandwich. After Loki had eaten his second one, Clint asked: “Is that why you like Tony? Because he tells you?”

Loki stared at him. “I don’t know.” Had anyone ever told him? Suddenly he felt very uncomfortable. Was he really just hanging onto Tony, because the man told him how much he cared? Did he really care? Was it wrong?

“You know, we all like you, right? We’re all your friends.”

“I should”, Loki said quietly and grabbed another sandwich to not have to talk about it.

“Wow”, Clint suddenly said.

“W-What?”

“They really messed you up. Asgard really messed with your brain. You don’t trust my word, do you? You need it to be said again and again and again, that you are loved, liked, you don’t trust like that.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s not your fault, Loki. You’ve been neglected. But you are loved. Does anyone on Asgard ever tell you that?”

“My mother.”

“Nobody else, no friends? Not even a lover, once upon a time?”

“Had nobody like that, over there. Sigyn told me, I wasn’t such a bad person, once. And the twins, always told me they loved me, but they are all gone now.” Loki teared up and he pulled the glasses off, to wipe at his eyes.

Clint got up and held Loki against his body, curling his fingers in the raven hair as the taller man silently sobbed, grabbing onto Clint’s body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not like Loki and Tony both don't understand that Tony did something bad, hell, Tony felt like crap after it. It's time that Loki learns that being ruled isn't the norm, that he doesn't need someone to control him. I don't think Tony ever wanted that though.  
> Let me hear your thoughts.
> 
> edit 15.12. 2019: Capital letters are annoying


	3. Knowledge is Key

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Thanksgiving! (At least in the story)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm having a God/god problem, and probably a Brother/brother problem too...
> 
> This is a bit of a feel-good chapter with some important plot and references to [Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Season 1, Episode 8](https://marvelcinematicuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/The_Well).
> 
> Just so you know, if you haven't seen it and want to look it up...

Most people kept a distance at Clint’s and Steve’s request for the next two days. Loki had decided to give himself a bit of time to relax, eat and sleep. The last taking most of his time, he felt like he was only awake for two or three hours before getting drowsy again. He ate right after he woke, because he woke with an extreme hunger after the initial shock of food had subsided. He had only thrown up twice, which he thought was very good.

On Thanksgiving itself, Loki got weary. Nat and Clint were out of town, but he still had Steve to lean on, if he were to suddenly slip into a younger mindset. Fury was there, Thor as well and Bruce along with Tony and the rest of the original crew, as Loki sometimes called Tony’s friends.

Runa was there too and Loki spent the whole afternoon around her, with Tony and Bruce, while the others either prepared the meals, which was mostly Pepper and Steve, tried to pretend they were very busy, Fury, or just stood around not knowing what to do with themselves. Which led to the three, Thor, Rhodey and Happy playing a game of Scrabble, where Thor came over after every turn to have Loki check if the word he spelled, was a correct word. After around half an hour of that, there was a bit of drinking involved, Tony decided to move their play session nearer to the Scrabble session, which led to Rhodey calling Tony to be his partner, as Happy quickly claimed Bruce as his, believing the scholar was very literate.

Of course, with Loki at his side, or well, Loki’s head laying in Thor’s lap, while holding Runa on his body, the two non-Humans easily won, which led to the others all calling out cheating and J.A.R.V.I.S. having to confirm, that Loki had not changed any of the tiles and all of his words were actually in dictionaries.

Runa was growing fast, Loki noticed, growing a bit sad about not having seen her since August, since he left for Asgard and in turn, Svartalfheim. Not since he almost died. He noticed Tony watching him, while all others seemed to be getting worked up, on having gods play a game like Scrabble should already be cheating, which J.A.R.V.I.S. had put in the background for him.

‘I missed her’, Loki signed towards the billionaire, he wasn’t sure if any of the others knew A.S.L., but he didn’t care much.

‘She missed you too.’

‘I want to work through some things.’

‘Now?’ Tony looked at him with a raised eyebrow and Loki snickered, catching Thor’s attention, quickly waving it away.

‘No, not now. But soon. We do need to talk.’

‘Before anything major happens again?’

‘Yes. I don’t know how Clint has planned out my next week, have to call at least three people, I don’t know how many will come by.’

‘Will you be able to do that? You’ve been sleeping a lot.’

‘Have you taken to spying, dear?’ Loki cocked an eyebrow and Tony held back a smile.

‘Our national icon has been updating me. Was a surprising revelation there.’

‘Didn’t happen that often before August. Once or twice for a few moments till I forced myself back.’

‘I’m still sorry that I didn’t know about it and couldn’t help.’

‘You can’t do much to help anyway. Mind stays the same, I could not view you as anything but my lover.’

Tony sighed a little, before looking away and nodding towards the kitchen. ‘Love you, gotta go, apparently only _I_ can find some stuff in our kitchen.’ He got up and walked away, while Loki tried to catch up what had happened, but the conversation had already disappeared from view, making Loki sigh and caress Runa again.

Loki was playing a bit, when Fury came back into the room and requested him and Thor to talk to. Loki nodded to the man and then quickly asked Bruce to take Runa. Thor helped him onto his feet, as Loki was still a bit uneasy and they went to talk to Fury in the next room.

“What’s up, Fury?”, Loki asked with a small smile, when the man closed the door and had started to lean against the table.

“First up, glad you’re back and slowly getting back to normal.”

“Thank you, although I would not consider this situation normal.”

Fury sighed. “A few things I have to tell you now, before I tell the whole team, and there are a few things that affect the both of you.”

“You may tell us those”, Thor answered, a hand on Loki’s back to keep him upright.

“Alright, fuck it.” Loki raised his eyebrow at Fury’s outburst. “There are people that are really against gods living on Earth.”

“We are no Gods, Fury”, Loki told him.

“Yes, but you’re from legends, close enough. They believe that you two, or other Asgardians, no offence, Loki, made the Convergence appear to help your worldview and gather new followers. A team of mine already encountered them and has the most active followers in custody. They are however not the only ones, we’re trying to catch them all, as they are not very friendly and want power above everything. They especially don’t seem to like the idea of you, Loki, being bonded with someone like Stark, yes, the tower made a statement on that.”

“Are they a threat to my or Tony’s existence?”, Loki asked back.

“If you don’t plan on working with them, at least that’s what I hear, or lose your value to them, I believe both. They don’t like Stark, because he doesn’t believe in Norse Gods, if I’m right, he doesn’t believe in any gods. They don’t like how the ‘Gods’ use their power and only want it for themselves. They think Stark being bonded to you gives him something more, adrenalin, longevity, health, whatever.”

“What was in fact achieved through the Golden Apple.” Loki nodded in understanding.

“That the public doesn’t and cannot know about, yet.”

“How can we protect my brother and Anthony?”, Thor butted in.

“Oh you, Thor, are a whole other thing entirely. They all believe they should be worthy.”

Loki frowned. “Why should they be worthy?”

“Because they believe in the Norse Gods.”

“That doesn’t make any sense”, Loki answered and stared at Thor, who looked as confused.

“Yes, well, Thor won’t be a problem, you and Stark will be”, Fury told them.

“Why?”

“We expect them to want to attack you, unbind Stark and bind one of them to you.”

“What?” Loki chuckled. “That’s not even… I don’t think that’s even possible.”

“Figure it out. And make sure it doesn’t happen.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Loki nodded. “Anything else?”

“The council is pissed.”

“What for?”

“For you being out in Washington alone. Moving you to Washington was already frowned upon and letting you go with Jane and Darcy was on my head, they were made temporary consultants. You moving around freely outside assigned facilities, they didn’t like that. You were supposed to always have at least two Avengers with you.”

“Can you get it down to one?”

“Don’t think so.”

“Can you make J.A.R.V.I.S. an Avenger?” Fury laughed and Loki grinned, before shrugging. “I’m just trying to get a lower sentence here, Fury.”

“It’s not working.”

“Well, I didn’t have much time to work on it. So _basically_ , you’re saying I should play nice for a while, and not do anything risky that could hurt Tony or me.”

“Yeah.”

“Cool, so I have to do missions, but I also have to do no missions. Which is more important?”

“When you’re healthy again, you’re going to do missions.”

“Do they know what threat that is?”

“You’re bait for them. Stark’s not doing any missions, because he’s too important, only if the threat is big enough, he gets sent out. Even Banner leaves before he does.”

“So, they don’t care what happens to me, but they also want me out there protecting their planet? Gotta say, Fury, that doesn’t exactly make me happy.”

“And an unhappy god?”

“What?”, Loki looked at him confused.

“An unhappy god makes for unhappy followers, that act out?”

“What?” Loki stared from him to Thor, who seemed just as puzzled.

“The council wants to make you unhappy, I think, because the followers might want to save you, if they see, that you aren’t really all that happy.”

“So, this is all a ploy to get them to get me? Does the council _want_ me dead?”

“I don’t think they like you all that much, so either way, you have to do your job, smile a little bit less, follow the rules, Rhodey knows the drill, you can’t do any moves yourself.”

Sighing, Loki laid his hand to his brow. “This is really annoying. Do I have to play into their hands?”

“This time around, yes. I don’t like it either, but we have bigger problems, Lo.”

HYDRA. Yes, he almost forgot about that. “Let’s catch the bastards quickly. Before winter solstice would be nice, wouldn’t it?”

“If you can make it happen, do it. But it’s no pressure.”

“At least I won’t get any heat stroke at this time of the year.”

Fury nodded. “How long’s the recovery?”

“Recovery? Bah, done by the end of the week, physically that is. The mental stuff, phew, who knows, but if you want me to get an evaluation, I’ll fake it anyway.”

“To make me happy?”

“Oh, Fury dearest, of course.” Loki gave him a way too sweet smile. “Only for you, darling. Only ever for you.” Thor looked at Loki a bit baffled. “Sarcasm”, Loki stage-whispered to him.

“Ah, yes. I believe that you are having conversations I have too little information for to understand”, Thor told them.

“That is quite alright, Brother, not all of us can be as well-versed as some in this world.”

Thor was thinking for a moment, before shoving Loki playfully. “You have called me dumb again, Brother. Why do you pain me that much?”

“I don’t plan on it. Now, gentlemen, should we return to the party, before it starts to turn into a search party?”

“There is a party for searching?”, Thor asked, confused.

“Yeah, let’s go back.” Fury stood up and led the group out of the room.

“Brother, your little knowledge of words pains me. Why did you even attempt to play Scrabble in the first place?”

“Because playing games with Mortals has been great fun”, Thor explained.

“Yes, well, next time, play a game with less thinking and less strategy.”

“I am very good at strategy. Have you not seen our adventures?”

Loki rolled his eyes at that. “Had I not been there you’d long lost all your shield-brothers.”

“That is why my strategy often involves my brother.”

“Who then not works along the strategy, because it’s a shit strategy.”

“Hey!”, Thor protested, and Loki walked into the dining room, where Tony and Steve were setting the table.

“It smells good in here, is it ready soon?”, Loki asked and wrapped his arms around Steve, who quickly returned the hug.

“Are you hungry, Lo?”, Steve asked him.

“Not much yet, but the aroma is quite… well, I’m getting there.”

“We have a lot of food, Lokes, because we got two aliens, a super soldier and my own beauty running on golden juice”, Tony told him.

Loki snickered, as he let go of Steve, holding a little onto the sleeve of his button-down shirt. “Will there be a photo shoot or why are you using the good china?”

“I just hope your brother will not start throwing them around and Cap here will not accidentally break them in frustration, because he didn’t want to break them and was unable to cut his meat.”

“What he means is, yes, there will be a photo, taken by Fury, after that we’ll add another chair and highchair to the end of the tables”, Steve told Loki.

“So, who sits where?”, Loki asked back.

“We’re dividing the sides by height”, Pepper said, as she came into the room and walked around the table. “Tony, Bruce, me and Rhodey sit here and across from Rhodey sits Thor, then Happy, Steve and you, Loki. We thought about putting you and Thor together with Rhodey sitting across from Tony, but that might’ve looked too staged.”

“Are you sure? The original plan would only make my closeness to Tony more obvious. I might not like to in turn be sitting apart from Steve, but we could switch you with him, so all smaller people sit at the front, while all taller sit at the back”, Loki thought out loud.

“And I could sit next to Happy instead of across from him.”

“And keep a better eye on Tony.”

Pepper smiled, while Tony made a protesting noise. “Alright, let’s do it like that, how drunk are Bruce and Happy?”

“Do you want me to make them sober?”

“Gladly. If your magic, uhh…”

“If I have enough? I’m already wearing the clothing Frigga has provided me with. Do I look okay?”

“You look dashing.”

“Well, you look gorgeous as well, you could lose the apron for the picture though, it gives off too many motherly vibes, that a C.E.O. might not want to portray.”

“You get going and deal with the two, I get the rest of the table set.”

“Pleasure working with you, Miss Potts.”

“You as well, Loki.”

Dinner was weird for Loki and Thor. Weirder for Thor, Loki has known most of the procedures already, though he did not particularly enjoy the holiday that much personally. At least there was food. While Thor and Loki were still shoving mashed potatoes and turkey on their plates, even Steve looked quite defeated after his third plate, while all others just looked at the brothers in disbelief, as Tony quietly sneaked a bit more food onto his own plate.

The nine attendees all skipped the ‘being thankful for’ part, mostly because they all knew that it might get dark with Loki and Tony most certainly being thankful to still be alive. Loki himself was definitely thankful to be there. Also, because being there meant being with the people that accepted him. He was thankful for Runa, the sweetheart she was, he was thankful for Tony, because he knew the man cared for him. And he was very thankful for everybody else being around, because he himself could not care that much for Runa himself, as he had often been bedridden.

At least it felt like he was. There were still fun times, easy times, like that time he’d jumped into the pool, just because he wanted to. Loki smiled at the memory. Also, at the memory of Harley coming to stay with them. And the many times he’d woken up feeling protected and loved next to Tony. He’d had a home, someone to return to. A small snicker escaped him, when he thought of the time Thor and he had come back from Asgard and Tony had punched the man for not protecting Loki.

Thor looked at him with a questioning look, while chewing on his food.

“No worries, Brother, I’m just remembering the past year, I’m not planning to set anything on fire.”

“That’s very specific”, Fury said with a raised eyebrow.

Loki countered: “Very specific would be setting Director Pierce’s office aflame.”

“Why would you do that?”, Steve asked him, and Loki shrugged.

“I just don’t like the man. Don’t worry, Steve, I’m not actually going to become an arsonist. It might look bad on my résumé.”

“It also sounds really bad”, Rhodey added from across the table, “Loki, the Trickster, sounds cool, while Loki, the Arsonist sounds like he’s a serial killer.”

“Am I not?”, Loki asked back.

“New York is…”

“I’m not talking about New York, Steve, or the Helicarrier, or anything in early May last year, Thor and I have both killed many, have we not, Brother?”

Thor nodded, proud of himself, before gulping. “My count is higher than yours, I am sure.”

“There, you might actually be right, dear Brother. Mjølnir is a weapon of mass destruction.”

“I built weapons of mass destruction”, Tony chimed in and Loki rolled his eyes.

“Dear, for Humans it is not wise to be proud of kills, especially in uneven fights. At least across the realms the people rushed into battle, your weapons program killed from far away, eliminating people that may not even have seen it coming.”

“I just wanted to be the best”, Tony said with a pout.

“And don’t you dare quote Pokémon, it was stuck in my head over there with the Aether.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually made a whole seating plan for it and spent hours looking up everyone's height, where it still confuses me that there is a difference between the height of actors (which is kinda weird to know, but not the weirdest) and the characters they portray... other than CGI characters, of course... (Hulk, Thanos, Skinny Steve, etc. )
> 
> edit 15.12.2019: Human instead of human, God vs. god is a weird thing... Oh and Mortal instead of mortal if it could be exchanged for Human.


	4. Lecture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki does a recap of Act 2, basically...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to re-check the "facts" for this at least a dozen times, Loki's finally giving that lecture. It's one big scene, I hope it's readable and understandable.

“Settle down please, Nat, Tony?”

Loki was already annoyed by all the chattering that appeared to be going on, according to his glasses. The people at the front, Bruce and Jane smiled up at him. However, the chattering did not die down. Loki grunted and rolled his eyes, before putting his hand on the table, that most of them were leaning on, Bruce and Jane quickly getting back, before Loki sent a small jolt through the table.

“Now that I have everyone’s attention”, Loki spoke harshly, “This is very important. There is a reason this meeting is getting recorded, Miss Lewis, stop fiddling with your phone, you can ask Captain Rogers to pose for your smartphone background later.”

“I… I wasn’t.”

“Sure, you weren’t. Put your phone away, I don’t like being a teacher.”

“Kay-okay.” Darcy pouted.

“So, I’ll start this meeting of with a few questions. Who of you has _not_ heard of the Tesseract?”

The hands were kept down and Loki smiled. “Wonderful. Who of you has _not_ heard of the Sceptre?”

He got a few confused looks, but still the hands stayed down. “Great. And who of you has _not_ heard of the Aether?”

Clint’s and Nat’s hands went up, confused to be the only ones. “Oh right, I mentioned it at dinner, didn’t I? Who of you does _not_ know _what_ the Aether is?”

A couple more hands went up, leaving only Thor, Tony and Bruce in the know. “The Aether is a reality-changing material, that can be controlled to make the world, or worlds, if you get it at the right time, appear any way the user wants it to. It is also commonly called the Reality Stone, even though in the form it is now, it appears fluid. On November 12, the Aether would have left its prison, travelling inside Doctor Foster’s body and possibly dooming all of our reality and future. I dreamt of a first possible end of that on January 9. If you’re here or have been handed the recording of this meeting, this is needed for your knowledge.”

Loki rolled up his sleeves and then put his hands on the table, smirking, when a few of the Avengers flinched back. “Please note down your questions, I will give you time to ask them, before moving onto a new subject. I will first breach what would have happened, as far as my knowledge goes.”

He stood back up again and read Tony whisper: “Diva” to Steve next to him, the taller man chuckling.

“Anything valuable to add, Stark? I do not like repeating myself.”

“No, Sir, umm, all in order.”

Loki rolled his eyes, before finally starting. “My first dream was of November 14. At least, I believe so, it was short, and I only figured out what day it was, on the third dream, after Doctor Banner advised me on getting a phone, which I usually store in one of my dimensional pockets. On November 14, I was supposed to be on Svartalfheim with Jane, Thor and the Dark Elves. The Dark Elves were extracting the Aether from Jane’s body, by giving it a new, willing body to live in. Thor had tried to destroy the Aether with Mjølnir yet had failed. I do not know much more of that battle, because I was supposed to die that day. We fought against the Dark Elves, some escaped, most were killed, I do not know that outcome.”

“Since February 10, Stark knew, that I was supposed to die that day. We did not know the date at that point, he knew the date in May, after I had learned of it on March 21. I did not ask for Mister Stark’s help in changing the outcome, however I _did_ ask Doctor Banner to help with the same, as, at the moment, he seemed unlikely to be involved in the event. Another person whose help I got, was Heimdall, the watcher on Asgard. On May 5, I dreamt of November 12. I did not yet know, when the Aether was set free, at that point, I did however know, that it had pulled Doctor Foster through one of the openings, wormholes, between worlds, that would occur during the Convergence. That is not what I dreamt of though.”

“On November 12, Asgard would have gotten attacked by the Dark Elves. From what I could gather, Heimdall had summoned me from the Bifrost, shortly after the Dark Elves appeared. I could not gather much knowledge, because the Watcher could see into the dream. That dream only occurred once and after that, dreams became more dishevelled, because of Asgard’s involvement. On August 3, Hogun and I went back to Asgard. I however did not enter Asgard but was told that they had found a disturbance on Svartalfheim, the ship of the Dark Elves was hidden from view. Odin, Sleipnir and I went to Svartalfheim that day.”

Loki took a breather, taking a sip from the hot chocolate. “On Svartalfheim, I found the ship, using my Seiðr. That is my magic or my energy. Odin went back to Asgard, after wishing for me to attack the ship, destroying it with my ice magic, which is the core power of the Jötnar, my true heritage. He brought me the ‘Casket of Ancient Winters’ to use for that. If the Dark Elves should wake, I was to destroy them as well, a big battle could become messy, when using my ice. Sleipnir stayed behind with me, which I was very grateful for. I took pictures of the Casket and the ship and sent them to Mister Stark, _full knowing_ , it would not be sent until the phone was back on Earth. I will say this once. I _could have_ returned at that point and talked to Mister Stark and the Avengers in person, but I made the point _not to_ , this was _my_ future dream, so it was also _my_ problem.”

“I killed that day. After I had attacked the ship, the Dark Elves had woken and attempted to stop me. When they went for Sleipnir instead, I gave him the phone and emptied a flask, that contained a similar serum as was used against me on May 4. It would cool me, making it much easier to use my natural powers, it would however, most of you know this, freeze and put me into hibernation at -50°C. I accepted that, because I planned on killing the most of them so that as little soldiers as possible could escape. The deaths they would have performed would have been on my head at that point. I teleported Sleipnir to the Bifrost-site with the two items, the phone and the flask. When I felt myself going weak, I built a prison around myself with a big enough hole for one of Hawkeye’s arrows to fly through. I believed, Doctor Banner and Mister Stark would find a way to reverse the serum and be able to put it on an arrow, or, in another case, a good rifle.”

Loki grabbed into his hair, drawing it back. “In hibernation, I dreamt again. November 14. Doctor Foster was laying in a hospital bed. Of course, the Dark Elves had not been there, to pull out the Aether in the new timeline. In the dream, I was confronted by Mister Stark.” Tony’s head shot up, confused, shocked and scared at once. “Stark accused me of promising to save her, which I had, and told me, that the other version had been better. A few other accusations were thrown around, but they do not matter, as Mister Stark has not said them to me. I promised to _fix_ it, but he told me I could not. I had that dream, or a similar version for quite a while after that. Dreams at that time would occur every other week, in September at least once a week and in October two or three times a week.”

“On October 5, I joined Doctor Foster’s research, in an attempt to integrate myself into the situation and I gifted both her and Miss Lewis a specialised bracelet, which normally just has the ability to show me from a miniature camera, where pointed, if I was called upon. Unbeknownst to the two, I had placed another spell on them, if they were to disappear from me, more than ten kilometres away, I would be forced to their position. On October 17, I first dreamt of a different November 12, _before_ Jane got in contact with the Aether. We were inside a building, with a floating truck in front of us. I did not know the time. _However_ , after letting the dream actually run its course, I acquired that it must have been after lunch and before sun-down. The details from that day were not much different from the actual happenings that day. Only on November 7, I finally saw the Aether in my dream, telling me, essentially, that my plan, to move with Jane, had worked.”

Loki sighed and leaned against the wall behind him, chuckling at the worried expressions of half of the faces in the room. “I expect you to be thoroughly briefed on the events of November 12 out of Doctor Foster’s or Miss Lewis’ reports. Is anyone not briefed on that?” There were a few shaking heads and Loki breathed, before smiling. “Then you must know that I stayed behind in the cave the Aether was in. I _do_ have a few suspicions, where that might be, but for all our safety, those will remain unnamed. I had to close the portals, because I myself did not know if another person might get there after Doctor Foster had left. I now know, that, after the Convergence had been dealt with, Stark _tried_ to call on me, but I could not hear him, as I went deaf in September, and Mister Stark remained untold at my request, before I went to stay with the Doctor Foster and Miss Lewis. And well, I came back on November 24. I had a few one-way conversations with the Aether, I might have gone crazy a bit, but we’ll deal with that. After all, I _am_ mad.”

Loki’s smile was just a hint to wide, before he let the face fall and asked monotone: “Any questions?”

Jane’s hand went up. “Why did you not tell us of the Convergence before?”

“I did not know if you could fix the problem and this route was safer.”

Steve spoke next: “Why did you not ask for our help?”

“One person is one variable, if I’d told all of you, the dreams would have gotten wonky and things that happened in the dreams between May and August, would have happened more frequently. I also could not have learned anything new from you, like I could not from Stark in these dreams, if you _would_ have appeared in the dream.”

Fury stood up, leaning on the table. “So, what’s the deal with the Aether, the Tesseract and the Sceptre? Why the fuck are we here, enjoying your diary?”

“I will come to that shortly, Director Fury. Any more questions regarding the Aether or the events?”

“Is…” Clint frowned at his own words. “Is the Aether a Stone or a being? You said Jane got pulled to it, by it.”

“Yes, she did. And it’s a yes and no. The Aether is not a being, like you’d think a being to be. The Aether does not have a body, the Aether is sentient though, it decides whom to give power to. I believe, the Aether grabbed Jane on pure instinct, having waited five millennia to get in contact with a new person. The Aether can be controlled, as any of the Stones can. It can also reject people, casting them out and, quite possibly, killing them. More on that later.”

Loki sighed loudly and sunk down at the wall. “Sorry, just uhh, can’t stand that long. Anything more?” When he looked around, it didn’t seem that way. “Alright, maybe later then. So, yeah, Aether, Tesseract, Sceptre. All Stones. You had theories that the Sceptre and the Tesseract were interacting. Not totally wrong, but not totally right either. They are similar. Of the same birthplace, all of them are. Siblings. Six are out there, Infinity Stones. Reality, Power, Space, Time, Mind and Soul. Have been around since the universe came into existence. Thanos, big asshole that controlled me, had one. The Sceptre. Barton, guesses, one out of six, well, five, which one is the Sceptre? Reality, Power, Space, Time, Mind or Soul?”

“Uhm, Mind? Or Soul maybe?”

Loki pointed to him with a grin. “Ding-ding-ding got it on first try. The Mind Stone. Controls the mind, gives the controlling person the ability to control other minds. Congratulations go out to Romanoff and Banner for knocking us out of that control. Tesseract, same thing, uhm… Fury, what’s the Tesseract? You were at Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., touched the Tesseract, I believe, even if it was with a glove on, I hear not even Schmidt could do that, right, Rogers? So, Fury, Tesseract. Reality, Power, Space, Time, Mind or Soul?”

“Space.”

“Yep, you’re getting good at this. Gives the controller the ability to step through space. Rogers, what happened, when _Johann Schmidt_ touched the Tesseract?” [spoken with German accent]

“It melted him.”

“Impossible, that would be Power, possibly.”

“Well, one moment he was there, the other he was not”, Steve told him, as if to convince Loki, that he was right.

“Fun, that’s what a proper rejection of an Infinity Stone looks like. I told you before, that they can do that. They got a little mind of their own. It can’t actually _kill_ anyone, the Space Stone at least. Reality can make it appear, as if the user never existed in the first place, Power can rip the user apart. Fun stories told around the universe. Space can only do one thing, except being used for all the energy any of the Stones hold. What’s that, oh, uhm, Rhodey, what can the Space Stone do?”

“Go through space?”

“Yep, well, a bit more complicated. It can’t move on its own, but yes. So, the Space Stone probably threw out Schmidt at a different point in the universe. Let’s hope that was somewhere in space, as in actually in an atmosphere, where the bastard can’t breathe.”

“But how did you get to Project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., if the Sceptre and the Tesseract don’t interact with each other?”, Natasha asked.

“Agent Romanoff, I said questions at the end, but well, you have a gracious god before you. Do you have siblings? Any of you? Actually, I don’t care.” Loki waved with his hand, seemingly erasing it from protocol. “All Infinity Stones want to be together. Are drawn together. As they can’t actually _move_ , they use people to move them. The Tesseract, I believe, found the Sceptre and let me come through with it. Got a mind of their own, the fickle things. Hah, mind. I’m actually kind of glad it was me. Would have stayed there much longer, if someone else came to Earth. Would have probably died or had been turned, no worries. Thing _is_ , Thanos seeks them all, the Infinity Stones. That’s why I had to stop the Aether from getting out, from becoming an easy _catch_ for him.”

“What can he _do_ with all of them?”, Fury wanted to know.

“I am not sure, Fury, perhaps change the course of the universe itself. Space and Time would give him the ability to do it all over the universe at the same time, Reality, Power, Mind and Soul, he could use to achieve his goal. Reality is probably changing things, rapidly, Power is destroying things in their entirety. Mind, Soul?” Loki shrugged. “I do not have his plan. I can just deduce.”

“So, this could all be wrong?”, Rhodey asked.

“What Thanos is planning, yes. _That_ he’s planning something, no. That it is definitely no accident, that three Infinity Stones come to be in our affinity in such short time, I hope you can all see that. It is worrying. I believe no Humans at this table have _encountered_ more. I personally know, where another is, in turn, so does Stark. Thor, have you come across any more Stones?”

“Power, Soul or Time? Not that I know of”, Thor answered him, with a shake of his head.

“Good. I can’t go around screaming that someone is looking for them, but I will have to seek out an old uhm… acquaintance of mine, as soon as the council has loosened their grip on me.”

“Who?”, Tony was quick to ask.

“Taneleer Tivan.”

“No!”, Tony and Thor shouted out and Thor stood abruptly, ripping Loki off the ground and pressing him high against the wall, so far, that his feet couldn’t touch the ground.

“You will not seek out that slimy being, Brother, he is no good for you.”

“The Collector knows things. More than we do”, Loki tried to convince his brother.

“He is a pervert, a bastard, a slaver, he locks up creatures from all planets”, Thor pressed.

“He tried to lock _you_ up, Loki!”, Tony shouted, mere feet behind Thor.

Loki rolled his eyes. “I was willing, Stark, don’t twist my stories.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I mention the Collector before?  
> *thinks*  
> Yes I did, I believe.
> 
> If I made a mistake in any of the facts or "facts" (the stuff from Act 2), please tell me, I am willing to learn.
> 
> edit 15.12.2019: Human instead of human


	5. According to Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Avengers mission... Yay?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, alright, alright, Loki's going on a mission. And he has to follow the rules...
> 
> Does he like the rules?
> 
> Yeah no, me neither. Didn't think so.

Loki was laying bored around the common room, when the mission alert got in on December 3. With a loud sigh, he got up and teleported into his room, dressing himself in his mission gear. He was wearing his Æsir guise. Bruce and Tony were at the mansion for the day, but Rhodey was already on his way to the tower, as well as the three S.H.I.E.L.D. operatives, that had to return to the Triskelion because of work. Thor was doing a ridiculous warm-up, when Loki got to the landing pad. He gave his brother a bemused, raised eyebrow, before doing a few stretches.

“I am so excited, Brother, us two in battle together again.”

“Yes, I can tell, Thor. But I can’t do what I want.”

“Oh, right, but we’ll be in _battle_ again”, Thor told him with an excited look.

“And what happened the last time I was in _battle_ with you?”

“You got hurt, my apologies, Brother.” Thor’s shoulders sunk.

“Do not worry. J.A.R.V.I.S., you will alert me to anything I cannot hear or see, that I normally would?”

“As far as I can, Master Stark.”

“Good.” Loki gave the Colonel a short smile as he landed. “Good morning, War Machine.”

“Loki.” Rhodey nodded to him and then looked to Thor. “Thor. The other three are on their way. J.A.R.V.I.S. will give me suggestions on what you could do, like he does on anyone, but this time a bit more thorough.”

“I don’t like doing this”, Loki told Rhodey.

“Me neither.”

“Which weapons do you suggest, or am I to be unarmed?”, Loki asked Rhodey.

“Your knives will do fine.”

“So sad”, Loki said in an ironic tone, “I was thinking about going in, guns blazing, like Black Widow.”

“Don’t die”, Rhodey told him with a serious look on his face, that told him, he wasn’t going to be having any fun at all today.

“If you do not give me any commands, I will just escape their attempts at killing me. When this whole charade is over, you can explain that to Iron Man, you obviously have a better connection, relationship, friendship with him. Surely comes from knowing him since an early age.”

“Your unmotivated ass can talk to him yourself.”

“Wow”, Loki said monotone, “It’s like you think, you actually have control over me.” Loki nodded towards the approaching Quinjet.

The battle wasn’t even really a battle, it was more of people trying to set a whole block on fire, which confused Loki a bit, as he cocked his eyebrow at the scene.

“Ice powers?”, Loki suggested through his comm, not really seeing the point in all of it.

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Yeah, yeah, go take out the fires, Snowflake.’

“Might need a hand there, though, there are still a few…”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Do what I say, Loki.’

“So, you _don’t_ want to know about the people inside, cool with me. Not my problem then.” Loki rolled his eyes and focused on putting the fires out, deciding to get the people out, as he went anyway.

 **[War Machine]:** ‘I told you to do as I say, Loki!’

“The Avengers are supposed to save people, are you not?”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘This is about principle, Loki.’

Loki rolled his eyes again and letting a snowflake dance in front of a crying baby’s face, sending the mother a soft smile, before conjuring a blanket for her. “I have to go, Ma’am, are you alright here?”

“Th-thank you.”

“Always…” Loki stopped in his sentence and sighed a little. “It’s what we do”, he corrected himself.

He walked off and down the next alley, following the trail of lit houses, watching carefully, if J.A.R.V.I.S. detected any screams.

 **[J.A.R.V.I.S.]:** ‘The fire department is on their way.’

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Great, Loki, what are you doing?’

“Taking out fires, that was the order, was it not?”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘It was. Still is, we think it’s a distraction.’

“Oh no”, Loki answered sarcastically, “I could not have predicted that, War Machine.”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Concentrate on the fires, Frost Giant.’

“Yes, yes”, Loki grunted, letting his hand go alongside lit buildings, extinguishing fires as he went, not particularly any faster than he needed to be. When he was done with the buildings in the street, he tapped his comm again. “Done, now what, War Machine?”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Hawk, you spot any more fires for our lazy god?’

 **[Hawkeye]:** ‘Uh, no, not at the moment, sorry, Loki.’

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Don’t feel sorry for him.’

 **[Hawkeye]:** ‘He’s still a fucking team member, Rhodes.’

“Don’t worry dearies, I will just stand here and come when summoned.” Loki put a hand on his hip and sighed slightly. “You know what I miss? Sex.”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘This isn’t a time for chit-chat, Widow, have you found anything?’

“Sex is great, you know. Excellent for when one is bored. Even greater than cuddling and kissing. I miss sex.”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘J.A.R.V.I.S., get Loki off the comm, until he has anything valuable to say.’

 **[J.A.R.V.I.S.]:** ‘Certainly, Colonel Rhodes.’

“Tss”, Loki said and looked down both sides of the street. “So, J.A.R.V.I.S., now I’m talking to myself, correct?”

 **[J.A.R.V.I.S.]:** ‘The outsiders can still hear you.’

“Fun. Fires remind me of smoking. Did that for a couple of decades, just because I was bored. Wonder if I should start again, maybe it’s at least as good as sex. Probably not. And I can’t buy anything can I?”

Loki walked across the street to the window of a small shop. “Sometimes I wonder, if they just call the Avengers, because they think we’re all bored. I mean, none of them are stopping burglaries, even though they totally _could_. The Avengers only get called, when shit’s going down.”

Loki painted an icy heart on the glass, around a display of the Avengers and wrote around it: ‘With Love, Loki’. “I feel like this is the Aether all over again, was empty too, nobody to talk to, nothing to do. Nobody ever gives me anything to do, to test my limits, to excite me.”

“So, you need to be excited?”, asked a person behind him and Loki was a bit confused, that J.A.R.V.I.S. had not warned him of her, a woman, he saw in the reflection of the store glass.

“It’s boring, all of this, don’t you think?”, Loki asked her, turning around and opening his arms and showing the rubble.

“It’s very according to plan. You plan on telling them that?”

Loki chuckled. “Why would I, Milady?” He softly took her hand and kissed her knuckles.

“Because you’re one of them.”

“I am. Twitter thinks so.”

“So, all of this”, she pointed towards Thor throwing a few lightning bolts, “This is all theatre?”

“Not at all. I do enjoy the occasional getting _choked_ or _hit_ part, anything to get the blood pumping, right? Fires just don’t do it for me.”

“I thought you’d be more magnificent.”

“More of a diva, more on a stage, opening night? I’m sorry, guess you missed me in New York last year, truly was a performance I put on there. The great villain, there to take over the world.” He moved in hand and the words appeared over his head, before falling as little snowflakes to the ground.

“Got your blood pumping there?”

“It did. How did you sneak up on me?”

“Romanova isn’t the only one that can do that.”

“Exciting. Thrilling, even, are you here to pay her a visit?”

“No, I’m here, so he can get the perfect shot. So, that you can’t stop him.”

“Why ever would I do _that?_ ”

“Because he tried to kill _you_ before.”

“Interesting, which one of the thousands?”

“The one who came closest.”

“I don’t believe that man’s a sniper. If we’re pulling my own person and all the dead out of the equation.”

“Oh really, who _did_ come closest then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know, dearest?” Loki conjured a stone from his pocket and handed it to her. “I got that from Vanaheim, beautiful isn’t it?”

She curled it in her hand looking at it from all angles. “Yes.”

“Who is the sniper planning to kill?”

“Captain America.” She frowned at him and Loki smiled.

“It also has an enchantment of truth on it. Yes, I am bored, but I have to play nice, you _understand_ , right?” Loki took the stone back and let it disappear. “J.A.R.V.I.S.?”, he asked, putting his finger on the comm, “There is a sniper with a kill order on Captain America out there.”

 **[J.A.R.V.I.S.]:** ‘Noted.’

“He’ll pull back.”

“And will he try, try again?”, Loki asked, cocking his eyebrow. She didn’t answer. “Come on, don’t be like that, if it had come out later, that I’d known, I would have had _no chance_ to retaliate. If they’re hunting me, I can’t walk freely. Think of the _end goal_.”

“You will regret this.”

“Thank you for your cooperation.” Loki smirked and winked at her. She tried to gut him, but Loki outstepped her quickly. “I am _very sorry_ , Miss, that I do not have the _ability_ to do what I want and engage in a fight with you. Sadly, my last order ended some time ago, so now I must _passively_ stay alive, this _breaks_ my heart.”

He danced out of her way a bit longer, until she suddenly fell to the ground and shook for a moment, making Loki gaze behind her and sending Natasha a crooked smile.

“I seemed to have found one of your friends, Black Widow.”

“Why didn’t you tell us about her?”, she asked him, a little annoyed.

“I was enjoying our talk. And it’s not like I was having any _entertainment_ before that.”

“Rhodey, Loki is not a very civil Avenger over here.”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘What’s he doing now?’ J.A.R.V.I.S. had obviously brought him back into the chat.

“We got a Red Room agent here, I tasered her, Loki was talking to her and not telling us.”

“I did not feel threatened in _any_ way.”

“And you did not take her out.”

“Did I need to? I had received no order to _do_ so.”

“Why are you being such a child, Loki?”

“I am fucking bored!”, Loki shouted at her. “You take me out here, have me take out fires in something that is so blatantly a set-up, that even _Thor_ might see it! I don’t know what you plan on achieving with having me wait in a corner like a _slave_ until I receive my next order! I don’t want to _be here_.” His face fell and he shrugged. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t _want_ this, being pulled along on a leash, being your pet. I understand why I _have_ to be here, I do, but I don’t _want_ to be here. Earth is so fucking boring I’d rather let myself get tortured again.” Loki faced the ground. “Just… let me do _some_ thing. _Please!_ ”

Nat grabbed him by the neck and a small whimper escaped him. He didn’t know exactly when he had shrunk, but he knew he wasn’t fully his older self anymore. Nat’s eyes were blazing, before they calmed, and she watched him closely.

“I wish to go back to the tower after you might apprehend the sniper.”

“We didn’t find a sniper.”

“Huh. Didn’t pick him for one to play hide and seek. He truly is just following orders then.”

“Who?”

“I did not ask for the name. Should I have? I thought it more important to know _who_ he intends to _kill_ instead of who _he_ is.”

Nat grabbed him by his collar. “We _always_ need _all_ information.”

“I was not told to gather _intelligence_. You don’t even appreciate me asking who he _plans_ on killing. My little bit of thinking already got me in enough trouble.”

 **[War Machine]:** ‘Bring them back to the ship, we’re done here.’

Nat nodded. “You got it.” She let go of Loki’s collar and nodded towards the spy on the ground. With a sigh and an eyeroll, Loki picked her up and laid her over his shoulder, following Natasha back to the Quinjet.

Loki didn’t speak, while they flew back and when they finally touched down, he looked at Rhodey expectantly, until he dismissed him. Loki stalked off the ship, making a beeline for his room and putting away his comm, before taking off his suit made by Tony. He stepped under a quick shower, before grabbing his sports gear and making his way to the gym, not putting on his glasses again after the shower.

He didn’t want to hear it, anything. He started hitting the punching bag, until all that left were his bleeding hands and a mountain of sand on the ground. Weakly he fixed the bag, putting all sand back in it with his Seiðr.

“{I hate this}”, he whispered, before getting his water bottle and towel and walking out of the room, only slightly startled by the fact that Rhodey and Steve were standing at the door. They followed him, he knew, he could tell. All the way back to his room, he did not bother closing the door behind himself.

Rhodey grabbed the glasses and shoved them into Loki’s bloody hands, the man putting them on with an annoyed eyeroll. “You dismissed me”, Loki explained himself.

“I did. What the fuck is going on in your head?”

“What did I do wrong? I played the part; I did what you ordered.”

“Steve could have gotten hurt.”

“Don’t you think I _know_ that? I cannot care for any of you out there. Least of all my brother.”

“You should have told us about her.”

“And fail the entrance exam? Are you serious? We’re playing the long game. I don’t like this game. I hate this game. This was not in any of my plans. This is not _my_ plan.”

“And what would _your_ plan be?”

“Anything more enjoyable than standing around on an empty street, being forced to imagine what being _free_ might feel like. I am not, don’t you understand, I don’t wear handcuffs, a collar, but I _might as well_. Just let me be, leave me alone or emotions might show if _any_ of you actually _do_ get hurt out there. I cannot show. Leave me to be the miserable being, I am supposed to be.”

“Sit down, Loki.”

Relief fell through Loki, as he let himself sink down on the edge of his bed at the order. Rhodey took his hands and grabbed the wet towel Steve had gotten. “What do you need, Loki, to do this again?”

“Reassurance.”

“Reassurance?”

“That, when we’re back in the tower, the curtain closes. You may all play yourselves out there, but I have to hold back, putting on a show _so good_ , nobody _notices_ I am even playing.”

“You don’t want us to discuss anything that may have happened on a mission”, Rhodey stated, showing how he received Loki’s words.

“I am not saying that, it obviously _needs_ to be discussed, but I need you all to know, that it isn’t necessarily all me.”

“It sounded very much like you.”

“Maybe an older version, a younger Loki.”

“Loki.” Steve’s face seems pained and Loki shook his head.

“I will not talk of that. Can’t I just be home and you discuss what was not okay to say or do and give me a list? I do not want to hurt any of you, so…” Loki shook his head again, before watching Rhodey wrap his hands.

“You have to tell us if you get annoyed or bored, when we have to cut it”, Rhodey told him.

“Probably when I start talking about random or inappropriate shit on the comms.”

Rhodey chuckled a bit and Loki let his head fall. “And what do you need right now?”

“My dad”, whispered Loki, a little ashamed. Rhodey stared at him. “Normally I’d ask for Tony, but dad’s not really happy with me talking to him, because we still haven’t talked about all that went wrong.”

“You’re… How old are you right now?”

“Going on fourteen, fifteen.”

“And you’d want Tony?”

“Yes. Even if he’d pull me back out probably. But Dad and Stevie don’t want me to do that unnaturally.”

“You have to talk about everything.”

“I know, Rhodey, soon, okay?”

“If you need a mediator…”

“We won’t fight. We’ll just talk. And I don’t want Thor or dad, or Stevie or you being there. Maybe Nat.” Loki bit on his lower lip. “Nat would be fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How'd you like that?
> 
> I'm slowly going crazy, because I literally have chapters to post till the end of January. I want it to be done, but I also don't want it to be rushed.
> 
> On the other hand, I hate what I'm studying and that kinda makes me unmotivated to do anything of value, not even writing...
> 
> If you find problems for me to fix or have ideas what could happen (note, it might only happen in about two months), just let me know.  
> I need to fix more Avengers stuff. Or Loki stuff, or Tony stuff, or really just anything... Yep, let me know...  
> And no, sadly Spider-Man doesn't come into the picture until _very_ late 2015, I'm disappointed too.
> 
> Also, I am thinking of doing a spin-off from the series, while I'm still not done writing it.🙄 With a different main character, can you guess who?


	6. The Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Tony talk and then the team talks...  
> Very important stuff...  
> I'm actually not joking, some of this might become very important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right now, the chapter I am writing is still somehow dealing with everything that went on. I hope that re-reading this chapter might lead to me finishing that other chapter... Finally.

Loki didn’t sleep the night before the talk. The team decided that it should be the next Saturday. Loki wanted to sink into the table and Nat had shot him concerned looks. He had promised to tell her, as soon as he noticed himself slipping. He didn’t think it would happen, but they had to take precautions.

“I hate this”, he told Tony, as soon as the man walked into the room.

“I, uhh, I can leave again.”

“No, I don’t hate _this_ , I hate… Forget it, I’m not making any sense.” Loki waved his hand and laid his hand back onto his arms on the table.

“You don’t hate this situation, you just hate _being_ in this situation”, Nat said, “Having come to be in the situation at all.”

“Yes.” Loki peeked up at the man sitting down in front of him, feeling a warmth spread in his chest and quickly looking away. He wasn’t supposed to love him. “I’m sorry for not telling you all possible, critical, outcomes”, Loki started.

“You didn’t have to”, Tony answered. Loki looked a bit perplexed at the shorter man. “I _knew_ , that the Æsir were working on finding them, I _knew_ , Bruce and you had worked on a serum, as a last resort and I _should have known_ that you protect your family. I could have known that you were going to fight the Dark Elves, but you’d have told me, I know you’d have told me, if _you’d known_ before you left. You did the best you could, Loki. From what Clint and Thor said, while you were recovering and I was freaking out, you did a pretty fucking fantastic job with killing those monsters.”

Loki put his head down. “I killed an entire race. The last pieces of the Dark Elves. It was cruel.”

“And you did it to protect the planet you grew up on. Don’t doubt yourself, Loki, it was good work.”

“One day I might believe it, but the day won’t be today.”

They were silent for a while, long enough for Loki to want to get up and leave. “Tony, do you have nothing more to say?”

“Right. I’m sorry. It should have never happened, laying a hand on you, that was such a Howard Stark move and I _promised_ I’d be better than him, it was in our vows, for god’s sake. I can’t put this on him though, I can’t excuse this. It should never have happened, and it will never, _ever_ , happen again. I fucked up. I knew I would, I told you I would, and you said that you’d fuck up, too. But this, this ain’t on you. This is on me. I honestly forgot I had slapped you last year, mostly because I blocked out that entire evening, but I should… I am not excused. I just want this to be over.”

“Can I come back home, to the mansion?”

“Yes, any time.”

“Can I have my own room, aside from the master bedroom?”

“Of course.”

“Will you just give me anything I want?”, Loki asked with a smirk.

Tony chuckled a bit, before shaking his head. “No. I can’t do that. Because I can’t give up seeing Runa ever again.”

“Do you truly believe I would keep you from her?”, Loki asked with a frown.

Tony nodded. “It was an idea.”

“Then you truly do not know me.”

Tony looked to the ground. “Can I try to _get to_ know you again?”

“I’d have a suggestion, but it might be too Æsir for you”, Loki told him with a blush.

“What?”

“Woo me, court me. I shall court you as well.”

“And uhh, what does that entail?”

“Gifts, notes, flirting, love letters, whatever you might come up with.”

“And if I fail?”

“The only way you could really _fail_ at courting me, is, if you’d let another person decide what to do. I am not a mistress you buy a standard bracelet for, so that she thinks, you love her more than your wife, but you’re really just making sure no other billionaire will lay his hands on your claim.”

“I’d never, ever get a mistress, by the way.”

“Well, I wouldn’t hold it against you, if you’d have sought out another person’s comfort over the last four months.”

“Did _you?_ ”

“Who would I even? I wouldn’t pick up a stranger and my friends are just that, my friends. I don’t have that.”

“Okay, but, uhm, wouldn’t say anything against that, either, I _did_ tell you, that I didn’t want to see you anymore and you _did_ take it, as if I was divorcing you.”

“I won’t go to bed with just anyone, Mister Stark”, Loki answered with a smirk, before sighing a little. “I care for you, Tony. I only ever want that sort of comfort from you.”

“And for me, my playboy days are over, I don’t do that anymore. I only sleep in a few beds and I only want to share them with you.”

Loki blushed, before noticing, that Natasha was still in the room. “Was that everything that needed to be discussed, Romanoff?”

“I’d say so… You’re not divorcing him, Tony?”

“Nope, love him too much to even think of that.”

“And you regret that evening?”

“Yes. I did get really fucking drunk because of the shit I did. I can’t even believe you’d look me in the eye again, with all the futures you must have seen, where I shouted at you and said so many ugly things, maybe even did so many bad things.”

“It was very bad for my sanity. And I’m not really all that sane.”

Tony chuckled a bit, before looking to Natasha.

“Will you let Loki see Runa again?”, she asked him.

“What? Of course. She’s been missing you like crazy. The bots too, by the way, did you call Harley yet?”

“Umm, no, not yet.”

“He misses you, too. And uhh, if you want to invite Sleipnir for the holidays, fine with me, as long as I know what to buy for the kid.”

“ _I_ don’t even know. And he’s hardly a child anymore.”

“He acts like one. And he’s _your_ child.”

“So, you like him?”

“God, he is so sweet, I wish my heart was as pure as his.”

Loki smiled. “I’ll ask him to come for the holidays then, or well, have someone ask him if he’ll come, because I’m not leaving again. I’m not getting off this planet, I’m clinging onto it, hear me?”

Tony laughed and Loki was surprised to actually hear it. Tears shot in his eyes and Tony quickly froze. “What did I…”

“I could _hear_ you laugh”, Loki breathed, and his smile grew wide. “Shit, I love your laugh.”

Tony grinned. “Are we done, can we be done, please?”, he asked Nat, who sighed and got up.

“I’m not going to do couples therapy for you two again”, she told them.

“Report back to Clint, will you?”, Loki asked her.

“Yeah, yeah, anything you need to disclose?”, Nat asked.

Loki flushed. “Umm, no? Not yet? Tell him, my promise still stands.”

“Whatever that means”, Nat said with a sigh and walked out.

“What _does_ that mean?”

“Means I won’t go any further than kissing at the moment.”

“You talk about that with Clint?”

“When he’s my dad.” Loki blushed again.

“I am so fucking dead.”

Loki chuckled a bit. “We could go to my room and cuddle, or you could go to your lab and I watch you work.”

“No, I don’t want to work right now, I want to go to your room and hold your hand and maybe kiss and hold you, if you let me.”

Loki got up quickly and walked around the table, standing in front of the slightly shivering man. Loki ran his hands down Tony’s arms, before softly cupping his face and laying his own lips on Tony’s. His eyes shot open for a moment, when they parted, but Tony only let his hand fall in Loki’s hair and slowly took of Loki’s glasses, that Loki quickly put in his dimensional pocket, before closing his eyes and pressing their lips together again.

“{I missed you}”, Loki said between kisses, “{Missed you so damn much, can’t stop thinking about you. I think Clint would strangle me, if he’d know that I want you in my bed so much right now.}”

He felt Tony’s grin against his lips and pulled back for a moment, only to see the man darting after his mouth and he let the thought fall for another two kisses, before pulling away.

“{Cuddling. No sex, just cuddling.}” Tony nodded quickly and Loki intertwined their fingers, before leaving the room with him.

Clint was staring at Loki with a hardened expression and crossed arms, when Loki woke from a nap with a snuggling Tony at his front, the head of the inventor buried in his chest. Loki almost shook, if he wouldn’t have been able to hold himself back, for Tony’s sake. Softly he ran a hand down Tony’s back, before pointing to his phone on bis bedside table. Grimacing, Clint handed it to him, and Loki opened their chat, rolling his eyes at the new nickname Clint had given him in it.

 **Kiddo:** ‘We didn’t have sex’

 **Angel:** ‘you said _chaste_ kiss’

 **Kiddo:** ‘We were done talking’

 **Angel:** ‘you can’t just let him close again’

 **Kiddo:** ‘Are you planning on throwing him out? He already fears you’

 **Angel:** ‘he does?’

Clint cocked an eyebrow at him with a smirk.

 **Kiddo:** ‘He said, he’d be dead if you found out. Don’t kill him’

 **Angel:** ‘can’t promise anything’

 **Kiddo:** ‘Clint, _please_. I love him’

 **Angel:** ‘are you sure?’

 **Kiddo:** ‘Surer than anything in the world. He’s mine and if you do anything to harm him, don’t think for a second I’ll be calling you _dad_ again’

Clint sighed visibly.

 **Angel:** ‘just don’t let him touch you, when go small, or he’ll be losing a few fingers’

 **Kiddo:** ‘If he hurts me, I’ll tell daddy. He knows I talk to you about this’

Loki winked at the archer, who seemed a bit proud.

 **Angel:** ‘good. You want something to eat? Steve’s been baking’

 **Kiddo:** ‘I’ll be up soon, let me just wake my _husband_ without you being here, you’ll give him a heart attack’

 **Angel:** ‘better get there soon, before he goes from stress-baking to stress-eating’

 **Kiddo:** ‘The sooner you leave, the sooner I can wake him’

Clint stuck out his tongue at Loki and Loki stuck his tongue out as well, before Clint put his phone away and signed: ‘Love you, Kid.’

‘Love you, too, Dad’, Loki signed back, the archer nodded and walked out of the room.

Loki woke Tony with a soft kiss. Oh, how Tony smelled like home. Loki loved that smell, the little bit of sweat, but not uncomfortable amount of it being covered with perfume or deodorant. Tony stirred in his arms and Loki could feel him moan and then mumble something against his skin, before he fully woke and realised that Loki was still deaf.

A soft poke at his cheek made Loki open his eyes and Tony sat up slowly, making Loki lose his grip on the man’s body.

‘I could be in bed with you all day’, Tony signed, and Loki smiled up at him, before sitting up himself.

‘I wish we could stay here, but apparently Steve has been stress-baking.’

‘Because of us?’

‘Yes.’

Tony paled a little and Loki chuckled, placing a soft kiss on Tony’s cheek, before getting up and conjuring his glasses.

“Clint won’t strangle you, by the way”, he said, as he put on his slippers at the other side of the bed.

“How do you know?”

“I threatened him.”

“With what?” Loki looked back to see Tony chuckling and stood up.

“He’s very hung up on being my dad.”

“He’s probably the best dad ever, if you like him.”

“He’s a lot better than any I’ve had. But he isn’t the best dad I know”, Loki answered, stepping between Tony’s thighs, as the other sat on the side of the bed.

“Oh, really, who’s the best dad you know?”

“I give you a hint”, Loki breathed, leaning close to the other’s mouth, “I call him my husband.”

He could feel a shudder going through Tony’s body and gave him a long and deep kiss.

When Loki and Tony came into the common room, hand in hand, the sight was glorious. Steve and Thor were hands-deep in two cakes, while Clint was holding a stopwatch. Rhodey and Nat were standing nearby eying the two a bit in disgust, a bit in awe, at how much the two could eat.

“Wow”, Tony whispered near Loki’s ear, making the trickster shiver a little, even though he could not hear it. The closeness to Tony he had missed above everything, and he let himself fall slightly into Tony’s arms. When Thor won, Steve hit the table in frustration, before stuffing the last bit of cake into his mouth.

“Unfair, you’re a god, you’re used to eating this much.”

“You were the one who wanted to start this battle, Steven.”

“I bet, I could have won against Thor”, Tony said loud enough to get everyone’s attention.

“That’s because you’re hungry, almost starving, darling.”

“How can you tell?”, Tony asked with a raised eyebrow. Loki took Tony’s hand and pressed it against the man’s rumbling stomach, making the man flush in embarrassment. “Thought it was cause of the bond.”

“I hear _that’s_ getting better”, Steve cut in, before Loki could answer and Loki walked nearer to the group, dragging Tony behind him, who felt a bit scared like this in front of everyone.

“Slowly. Hear small things, no words yet, but hey.” Loki took a seat next to Steve and looked towards his brother opposite of the man, who was smiling brightly at seeing him out of his room.

“So, you two are back to normal?”, Rhodey asked, sitting down in front of Tony, who felt a bit more comfortable with him being there.

“Normal would be, when the bond is fully repaired, wouldn’t you think? And depending how close we are and how many arguments we might have… At this rate I believe it’ll take a bit longer than how long it had been broken. I’d say we’re over the worst, but it depends on us both.” Loki sent Tony a soft smile and the man brightened.

“I’ll do my best”, Tony told him.

“I still have to be told what exactly has happened for you to break the bond. Nobody seems to want to tell me. If I get the bastard, who did this to the two of you…”, Thor started.

Tony paled and Loki coughed. “Brother don’t let your mind worry about such things. All that’s important now, is, that the bond is repairing, the wound is healing.”

“Of course. But I will not go through this again. If, what Fury said, is true, I will not wait for a second to rip their spines from their bodies, should they so much as lay a hand on either of you.”

Loki sighed loudly. “Brother, killing someone does not always stop the threat, it might just make it bigger.”

“It has always worked for us”, Thor pressed.

“You have not studied Humans closely enough”, Loki answered with a raised eyebrow.

“You study us?”, Steve asked from his side and Loki giggled a little at their surprised faces.

“Do you truly believe, that after spending decades after decades on Earth, I have not picked up a thing or two? And shouldn’t you be with the spies now and study Human behaviour as well?”

“I’m not really there to study”, Steve told him.

“You’re just there for your muscle? And that makes you not feel objectified?”

Loki’s free hand ran through his hair. “Norns, Stevie, you’re no longer a showman, a poster boy. You’re a soldier. You did finish your training, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

“See? I think you’re more than just muscle.”

“Aren’t soldiers just trained to follow orders?”, Tony asked next to Loki.

Loki groaned and then rolled his eyes. “They also have to make split-second decisions, not just wait for the next order, like I have to at the moment.”

“Really, Tony, you think _I_ just follow orders?”, Rhodey asked.

“Well, you’re my Platypus, of course not.”

Loki looked at Tony for a moment, before saying: “Darling, you should have a more open mind and believe all people have a brain. There might not always be much in it, but without one, they would quite possibly be dead.”

“Who’d you call dumb now?”, Tony asked.

“All of society”, Loki answered proudly, before looking to Clint. “You said something about food?”

Clint perked up and told him: “Yeah, we got six more of those cakes.”

“Stevie, you should chill out, Tony and me talking isn’t the end of the world.”

“How old are you, Loki?”, Steve asked, and Tony quickly let go of Loki’s hand.

“Seventeen, eighteen, don’t worry, dear, handholding isn’t forbidden.”

“But you’re a minor.”

“Barely.” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Still a minor. I could be your _dad_.”

“Impossible, I’m not into incest, sorry, Thor.”

“No, umm, offense taken”, his brother answered, slightly confused.

“Tony, you’ll always be my husband, if I am younger, I might just show less sexual affection. I don’t mind your handholding, I might, once I’m past fifteen, but I’ll let you know. And it _could_ be, that if I’m very young, I want to hold your hand in a different way.”

“Okay, Lokes, but you can’t just drop like that.”

“Actually, I can. I just did, sometimes, I don’t even notice. Eighteen isn’t much of a drop for me, with my mentality normally being between a Human twenty-five and thirty. I believe Thor’s himself is between thirty and thirty-five in Human years.”

“Very hard to tell sometimes”, Thor answered, but nodded.

“At times, I believe, you drop to twenty, but that is mostly around younger people.”

“You have always been a bit unstable there. Loki’s would occasionally drop to fifteen, before shooting back to thirty. I believe that has to do with your frequent trips to Earth, Brother”, Thor told them.

“You might be true.”

“So, this mental Human age changing, that’s considered normal on Asgard?”, Tony asked.

“Normal?”, Loki scoffed at Tony, “No, it isn’t considered _normal_ , dear, but it is not considered uncommon. Travelers and adventurers often experience it. The ones that actually _leave_ the realm. I believe my younger mental age, when compared to Thor, has something to do with my shapeshifting.”

“And your tricks, Brother.”

“That might be. But if you’d look at Sleipnir, he acts very young, surely because he has not spent much time in his new body.”

“He sometimes transforms back, when he gets upset and is then very embarrassed about the whole ordeal.”

“I can believe that, being born a horse and very much used to that form, must be like me, growing up looking like, well, a raven-haired Æsir. Surely, some people around the court must have believed I was a child of an affair with a Vanir.” Loki chuckled. “To think it was even worse than that.”

“Where do you think Sleipnir’s range lays though, Brother?”, Thor asked Loki.

Loki thought for a while, finally eating a bit of the piece of cake in front of him. “He seems very young to me, sometimes I’d put him in his early teens, but he also feels responsible, while still being cheery, so maybe thirteen to eighteen?”

Thor nodded. “Seems about right. He feels the responsibility, but he doesn’t know the weight of his actions yet. And he clearly does not want to be on his own. He’ll probably stay in the palace for quite a while, though Frigga quite enjoys having him there. Odin spoke once to him at dinner, about him having his own place, but he freaked, believing that Odin wanted to rid himself of him.”

“He could come here, once things have calmed a little.”

“Maybe one day”, Thor agreed.

“For a quick trip on the holidays? He’ll probably love to see Lokes again”, Tony jumped into the conversation.

“You are right, Anthony, I will ask the All-Father next time I’m there.”

“You _do_ know that the winter holidays start in about two weeks, right, Brother?”, Loki asked Thor.

“Do you want to rid yourself of me so soon, Loki?”

“Nonsense.” Loki waved with his hand. “I just want my son to have time to prepare himself for the trip.”

“And we totally have to figure out everyone’s presents”, Tony told Loki.

“Are we doing couple’s presents now?”, Loki wondered with a raised eyebrow.

“Don’t tell me you’ve got your presents done already.”

“I might. I have a bunch of old paintings of myself.”

“Re-gifting? Loki that’s horrible”, said Steve next to him.

“The people are dead, Stevie.”

“I expect something original”, Steve expressed with a stern voice.

“They _are_ original!”, Loki protested.

“I expect that you’ve put your thoughts into the gift, kiddo”, Steve told him.

“Like what you expect from wooing”, Nat explained, and Loki sighed dramatically.

“Fine! I’ll find something for all of you. But I will not do couple’s presents, dear. You’d just let me do all the work, because you’d forget it.”

“Okay-okay. J.A.R.V.I.S., remind me to buy presents”, Tony answered.

“When, Sir?”, J.A.R.V.I.S. asked.

“Every time I seem vaguely like I’m not doing anything.”

“Sir?”

“Yeah, J.A.R.V.I.S.?”

“You wanted to buy presents.”

Tony groaned and the rest of the Avengers laughed lightly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Was the talk okay? Did I miss anything?  
> This is a vital chapter, so if I missed anything, it's actually very important to me, if it's pointed out. I don't _think_ I missed anything, but it still could be.
> 
> Anyway, comments give me life, make my little Loki-heart happy, so, talk to me.
> 
> edit 15.12.2019: Capital letters for nicknames, Human instead of human...


	7. Criminals and Holiday Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harley comes to visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing is a pain. Especially thinking about what _should_ be called Asgardian and what should be called Æsir. Or who adapts to Æsir and who sticks to Asgardian...
> 
> I also have to fix how Heimdall's speech is formatted, yeah, I got a lot to do. I'm at Act 2 - Chapter 9 at the moment and whenever I find something new I gotta re-check if I didn't make that mistake before.
> 
> On another note, I figured out how to put a table of contents in my document and decided that there are still bugs going on. 😉

Time felt like it was moving more slowly. But at times, Loki felt, it was still going too fast. Sadly, the criminals weren’t in any holiday spirit. Or well, they were, but not that much. Loki and Tony had talked about the sniper and decided, that it was probably the Winter Soldier. They couldn’t tell the team who he was though, after all, they weren’t supposed to _know_ about him. Rhodey had Loki keeping out his feelers for the man, whenever he had nothing to do in the field, which lessened Loki’s bad mood a little. A week before Christmas, Thor went back to Asgard, to talk about Sleipnir coming to stay at the mansion, or the tower for the holidays.

The ‘Norse paganists’ still hadn’t shown themselves, Loki believed they were planning something big. He couldn’t think of anything yet. There weren’t going to be any planned appearances, that Loki would be forced to attend, before Christmas. Tony had to show up to a few, especially press conferences, as Rhodey’s back-up. But those were all too full and too secure for any of them to get into.

Thor only left, when Loki was not stumbling anymore and not having any late dizzy spells. Loki laughed, when Bruce called them that, the sudden feeling of faintness, a dizzy _spell_. But Loki’s health also meant, he was open for more visitors. Tony shipped in Harley, together with his mother and his younger sister, mostly because he wanted to meet them, but also so that Harley could see the trickster.

“Lookin’ good, darlin’”, Harley said as he entered and Loki’s whole face brightened up.

“Junior. Missed you.”

“Hear ya goin’ small like me sometimes.”

“Did Tony tell you that? Well I am fully me right now, Junior, so you don’t have to worry.”

“But you’re fully you then, too, right? Blondie said you don’t lose your mind or things.”

“No, I don’t forget, just my mindset switches a bit.”

“What’s the youngest ya ever were?”

Loki blushed. “Five”, he then said, grimacing a bit.

“Whoa. Younger than ma little sister.”

Loki rolled his eyes. “Well yes, Junior. So, whatcha been up to?”

“Bullyin’ a few bullies. Keepin’ the town safe, keepin’ the good kids away from the bad people.”

“We have a hero on our hands”, Loki exclaimed, and Harley rolled his eyes.

“Am no hero. If they ain’t callin’ you one, I don’t wanna be one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.” Harley pushed onto the bed, kicked off his shoes and climbed next to Loki. “I’m stickin’ with my dad. Even if I still have to fix his fuckin’ marriage. _Again_.” He rolled his eyes.

“Now, Son, no such words in my house. Besides”, Loki pulled Harley close, “Your dads are already hashing that all out themselves. We’re over the hill, over the worst, it’ll get better.”

“Can’t believe ya have to _read_ what I say now. Is it at least portrayin’ my smooth southern charm?”

“Couldn’t be any smoother, J.A.R.V.I.S. is doing a great job with that.”

“Thank you, Master Stark.”

Loki and Harley were silent for a while as they held each other.

“Was worried you’d never come back, Dad”, Harley whispered, and Loki pressed a kiss on his brow.

“I would never do that to you.”

“The other kid was a bit weird though. Kept lookin’ at me like I was competition.”

Loki snickered. “You better get along in the future.”

“Is he gonna come back?”

“For the holidays maybe.”

“Last year… It’s only been one fuckin’ year, Lo.”

“Yes”, Loki breathed. “Sometimes you wonder how much you can get done in such a short amount of time.”

“Runa wasn’t even born.”

“Yes.”

“That is so crazy.”

“It all worked out, didn’t it? I did something good?”

“From what I heard, you did great, yeah.”

“It’s just the job, right? Job of the elders to look out for the younger.”

“Loki, did nobody tell you that you did somethin’ amazin’, did nobody thank you?”

“Nobody needs to”, Loki hushed.

“Yeah, no, fuck that.” Harley got up abruptly, put his shoes back on and stalked out of the room. A few minutes later, the Avengers alarm rang.

“What is it this time?”, Loki asked with an eyeroll.

“Someone’s been setting pine trees aflame, all over town”, Nat answered, as bothered by the whole ordeal.

“What is it with all the fucking fires this time of year? And why pine trees?”

“They’re getting sold as Christmas trees.”

“Course they are”, Loki answered, rolling his eyes once more.

“I don’t think it’s just pine trees”, Rhodey said from the side, helmet open, “But yeah, all places the trees get sold.”

“And you need your resident Avatar to put them out?”

Nat snickered at that.

“We’re gonna put surroundings up, so you can extinguish them quickly”, Rhodey told him.

“I _could_ do this all by myself, Colonel.”

“What do you mean?”

“I could put a barrier up and then drop a sheet of healing snow on the trees. But I do need two babysitters around. Clint could already fly to the next location; you all _do_ have the bracelets for teleportation, do you?”

“Fury?”, Rhodey asked the nearby screen.

“Great idea, Loki, safe, quick, good thinking, you’re becoming a team player”, Fury answered.

“I’m just getting bored by these unoriginal people, Sir.”

“Do it. Black Widow, War Machine, you’re on the first round with them.”

“Actually, the Colonel would be quite helpful for me to oversee the damage and cast the barrier.” Rhodey rolled his eyes and Loki sent him an almost too sweet smile. “Please, just let me have fun once.”

“You’re not here to have fun.”

“But the kids _love_ Snowflake.”

“You’re Loki, not Snowflake, that’s a publicity stunt”, Rhodey said.

Loki’s smile fell for a moment. He just said that in the mission, he likes the blue skin, they all don’t mind it, at least. “Yes, Sir.”

“First location”, Clint shouted from the front and Rhodey closed his helmet, before grabbing Loki around the stomach and diving out. Loki could not hold back his excited shriek and Nat chuckled over the comms.

When they came nearer, Loki swiftly put up the barrier, before landing. “Let it snow”, he whispered with a held-back smile on his face, before dropping an inch of repairing snow inside the barrier, that quickly put out the flames and repaired the damaged trees.

The lady selling the trees was in tears. “Oh my god!” She grabbed him around the waist and gave him a swift hug.

“Uhm, yes, do you wish for me to get rid of the snow or not?”, Loki asked, a bit perplexed at the pull of the tiny woman.

“You can keep that one, Son.” She pulled him down and pressed a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you, you’re an angel.”

Loki smiled sweetly at her. “Oh no, just a devil with a day off. You have a nice holiday season, Ma’am.”

“Can, can I have a picture with you?”

“Boss?”, Loki asked the armour next to them.

“Yeah, go right ahead, Nat, you can take it, right?”

“Give it here”, she told the woman with a smirk and Loki carefully laid an arm around the woman’s shoulders, as Nat took the woman’s phone and took the photo, after telling them both to smile. “If you _do_ post it on Social Media, Ma’am, please tag the team or our little Snowflake.”

“You sure, I shouldn’t put on the other guise for that, Widow?”

“Alright, another one, switch, Loki.”

The woman watched in awe, when Loki turned blue and softly poked at his horns. “You _are_ a good devil with a day off.”

Loki laughed lightly. “Thank you, Ma’am.”

Somehow doing things as Loki suggested, meant, they went off without a hitch. Fury reported that even the council loved that the Hashtag ‘LetItSnowflake’ was trending on Twitter. Which meant, yes, they did a very good job and he was slowly in their good graces. It also meant, he looked a bit happier and not in need of saving anymore. Loki honestly didn’t mind. He hated the plan. Someone was going to get hurt anyway, whether or not Loki was looking very unhappy. He felt like he could at least take his own torture, Tony’s he might not be able to leave unpunished.

When they came back, Tony was shifting from his left to his right foot, back and forth, before getting jabbed into the side by Harley, and the teen ran to Loki and hugged him tightly.

“That was awesome”, the little one told him.

“Me not getting hurt for once?”

“Yeah, that too.”

“You did amazing”, Tony said, and Loki froze on his spot, looking at the man, before scowling at Harley.

“What did you do, Junior?”

“Just told ‘em that they should appreciate what you do to keep ‘em all safe.”

“This is no time for games”, Loki answered sternly and unwrapped Harley from his body, before walking off.

“Loki!”, Tony shouted after him and Loki could _hear_ him, which made him freeze again.

With a furrowed brow, he turned around. “If you do not have your heart in it, Stark, I don’t care. Doing things to keep other people happy, because _they_ notice, isn’t something any of you should do. It is very Human, _yes_ , but it isn’t fair to any of us. I will never, _ever_ believe those words, because I know you only thought of saying them, _after_ you were _told_ to do so.”

Tony looked to the ground. “Maybe we just all need a reminder, that we all just see the big picture and not what makes it enjoyable.”

“The people out there”, Loki pointed to the nearest window, “They did not _have_ to be told, that I was doing something out of my own volition. _They_ thanked me, hugged me, they _wanted_ to show everyone that they love me. But at the end of the day, I still come back here, and nobody says ‘good job’. Nobody ever says that, to nobody. S.H.I.E.L.D. might say it, if the Avengers saved a bunch of people. They thank the team. They don’t say: ‘Clint, great job looking out for everyone. Nat, Steve fantastic thinking about getting those people out of there.’ No, they don’t fucking say that, because it’s our job. Apparently! The big guys, they all don’t care that we go out there, risk our lives every time. Yes! Today was not such a day, today was easy, but when we get back broken and dirtied, covered in blood that is not our own, who _the fuck_ do you all depend on, to get you all healed and cleaned?”

Loki had started shouting and the team had come to a spot next to Tony and a very sad-looking Harley. “I am not a fucking healer. I love doing this, not just because I am still redeeming myself for all I did _back then_. There is _so_ much blood in my ledger, that this is more than just a promise, more than just duty. Yes, I might have been controlled, but those lives are still, ultimately, on _my_ fucking head. The people, they might overlook that, might overlook all of us having taken lives before, but that is exactly _why_ we need to hear it. That we did a _good_ job, that we did something good today. None of us are pure good, all of us have blood on our hands. Thankfully none of us are pure evil either. So great job today, team. I’m proud of all of you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to shower out all the fumes and go to bed.”

Loki wanted to walk away, but the look Clint gave him, made him shiver. “Son.”

Loki’s eyes went wide. This was it, wasn’t it? He went too far. He whimpered, before backing away from the group. He went too far.

“Whatever you just did, Barton, don’t do it anymore”, Tony said, and Loki went numb.

“What the hell are you all doin’ to him?”, Harley shouted and ran for Loki, tackling him against the wall.

Loki fell to his knees, softly pushing Harley off and then making a beeline for the stairs. By the time he made it to his room, he had transformed. He locked the door. He didn’t want to see any of them, he’d gone too far. This was too much for any of them. He didn’t even know how old he was, he was still falling and somehow, somewhere in his head, he didn’t want to stop. Maybe he could fall out of existence. _‘No, that’s bad too, Loki, that’s like killing yourself’_ , he told himself. Panicked, he went into the bathroom and shed his clothes, jumping under the lukewarm stream, as he sunk more and more and more.

His breathing wasn’t slowing down, he had to slow it down. He couldn’t stop. Loki whimpered as he spelled himself dry and conjured himself some clothes, before going to the door that now seemed huge, his eyes were just above the door handle. He didn’t want to see Harley like this. He quietly opened the door, seeing the team standing in the hallway.

“Daddy?”, Loki asked quietly, “Did I do bad?”

“Oh my god, Lo.” Clint leant down and grabbed him, lifting him off the ground. “You’re a good boy, Lo, you’re my good boy.”

Loki whimpered in Clint’s arms and averted his eyes from the team, as he peeked over Clint’s shoulder. “Loki bad boy”, Loki whispered.

“No, Loki’s the best boy.”

Clint brought Loki into his room and sat down on the bed, making Loki curl up in front of him.

“Bad boy”, Loki insisted.

“Very good boy, bestest boy.”

“That’s no word”, Loki said with a scrunched nose.

“Oh really, you wouldn’t let me win Scrabble with that word?”

“No”, Loki shook his head with a slight grin.

“Well, that’s a shame, now I have to put my superior intellect to work.”

Loki giggled. “Yeah, right, Daddy.”

“Oh, are you sassing me, my boy?”

“Nooo”, Loki said and shook his head again. Clint grabbed Loki’s sides and tickled him, making the kid fall over laughing. “Stop! Stop, Daddy, won’t do it anymore.”

“Oh really?” Clint took Loki’s naked feet and tickled him there, making the small trickster squeal loudly.

“Stop! Stop!”, he squeaked and caught his breath, as Clint looked at him expectantly. “Daddy’s the smartest person anywhere.”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.” Clint pulled him close and pressed a kiss on Loki’s brow.

“And because your daddy is the smartest person anywhere, he also knows you are the bestest boy.”

“Okay, Daddy”, Loki murmured into Clint’s shirt. “Loki did good?”

“Yeah, Loki did great. You always do great, no mistakes.”

“Sometimes I don’t say everything.”

“Yeah, but you’d say it, if it would become important.”

“Yeah.”

“Like you said, when there was someone that wanted to shoot Stevie.”

“Yeah.”

“And the whole thing with the Aether, that was amazing, I am so proud of you.”

Loki’s eyes watered. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m always proud of you, Kiddo.”

“Thank you, Daddy.”

“No, thank _you_ , Kiddo.” Clint pressed against Loki’s nose and the smaller giggled again.

“Love you, Daddy.”

“Love you too, Kiddo.”

Loki peeked over Clint to still see the team awkwardly hovering around the door. Shyly he puts his head down and Clint combed through his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, if I edit a chapter, is there a new E-Mail sent out? (I really hope not, because then I'd just be going on all of your nerves.)
> 
> Sometimes I forget how Harley talks. And then I forget how New Yorkers talk... And then I forget how Americans talk... Any tips? Am I doing something fundamentally wrong?
> 
> I know there wasn't a lot of Tony in this, but it _is_ Loki's story, right? I've already experimented with POV's and I'll probably do so in the future as well, at this point we've had three different POV's in total and I'm adding another in chapter... 15, whoa, that's a long time from now.
> 
> Also, this chapter is kinda making me anxious for Christmas, because I have no gifts yet. I only have to get three for my siblings and two are relatively easy...
> 
> edit 15.12.2019: capital letters...


	8. Visiting Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wakandans come for a visit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda sorry, but I'm also not sorry.
> 
> I have to figure out how to work this on my linux laptop, it'll be fine, if chapters 10 to 18 are weird, or later hours than usual it's because I'm at my parents' house for the holiday season...

Harley and his family left the next day, after he promised to call at least two times a month, Loki having apologised at least seven times for his outburst and Harley reassuring him every time, that it was alright.

Not long after they left, the Wakandans came. T’Challa and Shuri had brought Nakia with them. Apparently, the prince and princess wanted to make sure, Loki was really okay, which quickly resulted in Shuri prying open his mouth, before asking him questions.

“So, how old are you now?”, she asked, after she was done with examining his ears.

“Umm, seventeen, I’d say.”

“And this whole thing started, after you were frozen on another planet?”, T’Challa asked. Of course, he was a sceptic.

“Yes and no, old friend. It has been going on for a while, but I was allowed to live it out, ever since coming back from Asgard after being frozen.”

T’Challa shook his head lightly, but Loki quickly switched his focus on Shuri, who had taken his arm. “What’s the youngest you’ve ever been?”, she asked.

“I believe it was five, though that is quite unusual, yesterday I fell pretty far, too. Seven, if I am correct.”

“So, you fall?”, T’Challa asked, “Involuntarily?”

“I used to hold it back, but holding it back can make myself fall more, younger, I just usually didn’t transform and was by myself.”

“You transformed?”, T’Challa asked, before comparing their height. “Oh, yes, you are a little shorter. I still don’t think it’s a good idea, Loki.”

“I find it okay”, Shuri quickly stepped in and shook his head towards Loki, “Our brothers are not the most genius. Maybe we should just switch.”

“Depends. I don’t know who your parents like more, I’d rather not take you to Asgard.”

“So, you’d like being a Prince of Wakanda?”

“Sure. As long as you’d be my sister.”

“I think the kingdom would suffer under your rule”, T’Challa told them.

Shuri’s and Loki’s heads snapped to T’Challa. “We take great offense in that. We’d bring the kingdom forward into another century”, Loki answered him.

“Yeah. And we’d invent time travel just because it’s at our fingertips”, Shuri answered as well.

“Regarding science”, Nakia stepped in, giving Loki a faint smile, “You _did_ want to meet Tony Stark and Bruce Banner, Shuri.”

“Oh yeah. See you later, Lokes. This discussion is not over, Brother, I have eyes everywhere.”

Nakia led Shuri out of the room and Loki offered T’Challa a chair.

“So, how’s the weather in Wakanda?”, he asked, before chuckling.

“A little colder.”

“I don’t think I could handle the usual heat in summer again.”

“Now we _know_ that it had nothing to do with you being white, that you almost got a heat-stroke every second day.”

“You don’t like this”, Loki stated, quickly getting to the point.

“I understand the concept, but I don’t understand how you could think you’re younger.”

“It’s something to wrap one’s mind around. The team took it easily enough, everybody has their quirks, at the moment, mine’s switching to a younger mindset and body.”

“So, Stark married a kid?”

Loki scowled at him. “This is beneath you, T’Challa.”

“I see you’re not wearing his ring anymore.”

“We are still married.”

“And you’re deaf, because of a broken bond, because of a broken relationship.”

“Let’s talk about something else. Tea?”

“I’m just saying he isn’t good for you, Loki.”

“Tea?”

“Yes, I will take some. Green please, how you like it.”

Loki stood and walked through the sliding door into the small kitchenette, swiftly taking out his phone and giving the nearest camera a short expression, with raising both of his eyebrows, before putting water on.

 **[To Angel] Kiddo:** ‘I don’t feel completely safe, Dad, don’t like what we’re talking about, can you be on stand-by?’

 **Angel:** ‘sure, kiddo, I’ll be right there, in or out?’

 **Kiddo:** ‘Out, for now’

Loki grabbed a cup and the tea, before getting himself a cold soda. He didn’t like tea when he was seventeen. But T’Challa wouldn’t understand.

‘Can I detect your look as a command that you want me on stand-by as well, watching for when he makes you uncomfortable, Master Stark?’

Loki nodded quickly and let out a little sigh, before sending J.A.R.V.I.S. a thankful smile.

When Loki brought out the tea and soda, T’Challa had gotten up to study the range of the books that were gracing the walls.

“Are these first editions?”, he asked Loki, when he noticed him.

“Some, yes. Though I only have fiction here, non-fiction is in my office at the mansion, I believe.”

“Some of these are newer.”

“Yes.”

“Or double.”

“I spent some time at Steve’s place. Your tea, T’Challa.”

“Oh yes.” T’Challa turned around and took the cup from Loki before sitting down, eying Loki’s soda a bit.

“It’s cold”, offered Loki, sitting as well.

“It _is_ cold, yes.”

“I like cold.”

“You used to love tea”, T’Challa reminded him.

“People change.”

“You still have it on hand.”

“Drink your tea, T’Challa.” Loki opened his soda and took a few angry gulps from it.

T’Challa was the one to break the silence, though for Loki only figuratively: “So, Shuri is the Wakandan number one. We all know array’s start at zero.”

“Not in all languages.”

“Do we really have to fight?”, T’Challa asked.

“I am not the one arguing.”

“You are.”

“Because you’ve started it. I am talking back; I always talk back. That hasn’t changed.”

“And yet you let them command your life, and make you put yours on the line. You let them control you. They are not good for you, Loki.” T’Challa put his tea aside.

“Oh, and _you_ are so much better?”

T’Challa jumped on him, quicker than Loki could see and pressed his lips against Loki’s, before they even crashed to the ground with the tipping chair. Loki was in too much shock, to push him off, but he didn’t have to, the next moment, T’Challa was ripped away from him. Loki stared at the night-blue ceiling, before seeing Clint get into view and he broke, started crying.

“Get him away from Loki, Steve, before I make sure he never has any kids of his own.”

Clint waited for a moment, before pulling Loki up and into his arms. Loki grabbed Clint’s arm. Maybe he was holding a bit too tight, as he pulled the man after him to the bathroom, before letting him go and washing out his mouth, cleaning his teeth twice, throwing up once and washing his mouth once more. Then he let himself cry again and sink into Clint’s arms.

“I’m here. I’m here, Loki, you’re not alone.”

Clint’s hand ran down Loki’s back and Loki sobbed, barely keeping his eyes open and being able to read the messages. Clint noticed that quickly and moved to take Loki’s glasses off and softly wiping his tears away. He was safe. Dad was there.

Clint held him close and only when Loki felt him move, he looked up and followed his head. Tony and Shuri were standing in the doorway. Loki saw Shuri’s hands form fists, before the girl said something short, and storming off. Tony looked after her, before sighing and then looking down to Loki. Loki grabbed his glasses from Clint and pushed them on.

“I didn’t… I didn’t want to, he just…”

Tony was quickly at his side, kneeling beside the two. “Yes, I know”, he said, softly touching his shoulder. “Clint saw it all from the vents. Sadly, we can’t really do anything, because you’re not officially seventeen years old.”

“It would all come back down on you.”

“I don’t care about that. My image is crushed anyway, regardless of what I do or don’t do. Lately I’ve been getting ‘Iron Man too lazy to help out during holiday season?’.”

“You never have to see him again, Loki”, Clint added, and Tony nodded.

“You need a shower?”, Tony asked.

“Too wobbly.”

“Okay, anything you want?”

Loki thought for a while. “Cleaned up room? New… that’s too much…” Loki shook his head.

“What’s too much?”, Tony inquired.

“A new room? I… I don’t want to see this anymore, something different.”

“I can do that, done, two, three days, easily. Do you want to come to the mansion in the meantime? Or stay in Thor’s room? Or the master bedroom?”

“Mansion would be nice.”

“Clint, you wanna come too?”, Tony asked the other man.

“No. Weirdly enough, I trust you with him. And I trust him with you.”

Loki giggled. “Call, every day?”

“Yeah, J.A.R.V.I.S. will make a secure connection, Kiddo. Right, J.A.R.V.I.S.?”

“Certainly, Agent Barton.”

“Okay, can you take him now?”, Clint asked Tony.

“Yeah. J get Happy to the garage. I think Loki’s too whirled up to teleport, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Good, well, bad, but good that you tell us”, Tony said.

“You want anything from here, Loki?”, Clint asked, and Loki shook his head.

“Only my phone and glasses.”

Clint helped Loki up and Tony steadied him, while Clint walked in front of them to open the doors. They saw the Wakandans at the end of the corridor and Shuri raced down to them, hugging Loki tightly.

“I am so sorry, Loki, I swear, I did not know he would do that.”

Loki laid his hand on the back of her head for a moment. “This will not hurt our friendship, Shuri. Your brother’s bad actions will not fall back on you.”

“We will call, when these stupid American holidays are over?”

“Hey”, Tony said, puffing his chest and both Loki and Shuri snickered a little.

“Yes, Shuri, once the holiday season is over, you can have part of my attention again. Just text me. And greet your parents when you come back home.”

“Nakia will have a word with them.”

“That would be too fun to watch, but I will not join that right now.”

“It would be very awkward.”

“Yes. I will go home now. Return home as well, little genius.”

Shuri stepped back and crossed her arms in greeting, both Loki and Tony following her example, before she walked away again and Tony led Loki into the other direction, to the private elevator.

Happy was waiting for them downstairs, a soft expression on his face, as he pulled Loki into a short hug, before opening the back door with the heavily tinted glasses and the two quickly buckled up. Loki grabbed onto Tony’s hand, like it was a lifeline and Tony softly let his thumb run over the back of Loki’s hand.

“We’ll be home soon.”

“I’ll take a bath there, long hot, unbearably hot, will you be near?”

“I can be, if you want me there.”

“I do.” Loki pressed a little and Tony sent him a soft smile, while warmth started to gather in Loki’s chest, not just his own. He needed Tony near. “Please don’t leave my side right now.”

“Not if you don’t want me to.”

“I need you”, Loki breathed, before blushing from embarrassment and looking out the window.

“Are you still a kid?”

“Too scared for that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I might drop once we’re home, I might not.”

“Whatever you feel like, Lokes.”

“I might just calm and cry and hug.”

“And I’ll be there, if you want me there.”

“Through everything.” Loki gazed at his hand. “Where _is_ my ring anyway?”

Tony flushed. “Uhm, mansion, bedside table.”

Loki gave him a soft smile. “I’ll wear it again.”

Tony smiled back at him and they enjoyed the warm silence between them on their way home.

When they got there, Loki and Tony gave a short wave at Bruce and Kurt playing with Runa, before going upstairs.

“Okay, umm, your room, my room, our room?”, Tony asked, and Loki snickered.

“Our room, dear.” He walked there quickly, already undressing, before Tony even closed the door behind them. “If you could find me something to wear for after, that would be great. At least underwear.”

“Your wish is my command”, Tony said, and Loki smirked, when he found Tony’s eyes appreciating his form.

“Flirt later, now is bath-time.”

“You are still too gorgeous for this world, Lokes.”

Loki snickered and then laid his glasses away, before walking fully into the bathroom, letting the water in by hand, only wearing his briefs, before shedding those as well and stepping into the hot bath, making him hiss, as he sat down. Tony looked at him a little worried, while gathering the clothes and putting them in the laundry basket, making a show of putting Loki’s new clothes, seemingly underwear, a pair of sweats and a shirt, on the top of said basket.

‘Do you want me to do anything? Wash your back?’, Tony signed.

‘That would be nice, yes. Put on some swim shorts, dearie, I don’t want Clint to lose trust in you. Even if I am aged up.’

Tony nodded quickly and disappeared from Loki’s view only to come back in a pair of swim shorts, that had the phrase ‘Keep cool with Loki’ on them, making Loki laugh loudly and Tony blush to a bright red colour. Loki scooted forward, so Tony could sit behind him and then let himself lean back a little against the man.

His own cleaning was rough and quick but thorough, while Tony was more careful, rubbing in circles and adding cream to sore places. Loki went multiple times over his own face, that it almost felt, like he could peel a layer off. Tony was washing and conditioning his hair as well, making the trickster sigh contently and leaning back as the head massages continued. Even after all the shampoo was washed out, they laid like that for a while, only Tony moving a little to clean himself as well and Loki softly rubbing Tony’s feet, which made the other man shudder a bit.

Loki’s head fell onto Tony’s shoulder and he peeked up to see the man smiling at him. Lazily, he placed kisses on the shorter man’s neck, before turning in the bath and pulling Tony into his lap, as he mouthed at his jaw. He checked with Tony once more, and the answer he got, could not have been more encouraging, as Tony softly placed his lips on Loki’s. Warmth pooled in their bodies again and Loki noticed, that they both were at least a bit aroused, making him push off Tony slightly.

‘No sex’, he signed, and Tony nodded.

‘It wouldn’t be the right time, sweetheart.’

‘Thank you.’ Loki pulled him near again, before the other could answer and locked their lips in a scorching kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for destroying a character, I hate myself for it, it pains me so much, but drama is drama and goes well for _sometime_ in the future.
> 
> Also, do you like Tony more now?
> 
> I already miss Shuri. Mostly because I'm still re-reading (chapter 28 of 36), so I read all about her, Harley, Sleipnir and a bit of side-info about Peter. I love the kids, but I feel I'm really bad at writing them, because they grew up with the internet and are total nerds and I can relate, but I also can't relate. 😅
> 
> Also, already a warning, in the next chapter there will be smut, not only smut, but yeah. I've never written smut before, but it's not really explicit, I think, and will probably never happen again, so I won't bump up the rating.
> 
> edit 15.12.2019: text messages are really weird to think about. Who writes how and is the first letter a capital letter automatically?


	9. My Love, Your Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's finally happening

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, there will be smut, it's going to happen after the mission, if you don't wanna read smut, then just don't read that part. I've never written smut before, so this is basically my attempt at it, with the limited knowledge I got out of other fics...
> 
> Also, I'm doing this on my laptop, it doesn't have Windows, it has OpenSuse (Linux), I have to use dropbox online and I hope it will work. Bear with me for the next three weeks, I really don't want to do this on my tablet, because I'm not carrying my computer to my parents' house. Okay, somehow it decides to cut the last symbol... I will have to remember that.
> 
> *sighs*
> 
> Oh, and I'm done editing. 5-6 hours yesterday, Act 3, Act 2, Act 1 and Prelude. I just hope I didn't miss anything.

Loki and Tony laid in their bed, lazily kissing each other now and then, only dressed in their underwear. Loki had not put his glasses back on, but Tony did not seem to mind, as they talked little anyway. The warmth between them said enough, told them, that they were comfortable and safe around each other. The skin to skin contact made Loki incredibly happy, it felt like it had been too long, since they had been so close, since they had no barriers. 

They both were a bit aroused, but they didn’t act on it, making Loki only feel safer around his lover, his husband, his Tony. It was perfect, a day like they normally never had. Even in the most downtime they got, they rarely could lay around and just stay together. Tony had to work, and they had a child. But all that seemed to disappear into the background at the moment, as Loki was letting his hands flow down Tony’s side, enjoying the small sparks that was causing. 

‘Is that you?’, Tony signed, and Loki grinned a little. 

‘That’s us.’ 

‘That’s amazing.’ 

‘It truly is.’ 

Loki pushed his Seiðr a little and a golden thread showed between them, turning more forest-green when it came to Loki’s side and mixed with hot-rod-red on Tony’s side. 

“Oh, wow”, whispered Tony and Loki’s smile went even wider. 

“Heard that”, Loki breathed and then snickered, “Heard that too.” 

“So, that’s the bond?” 

“Yeah.” Loki pulled Tony to his feet and grabbed the glasses. “Just to be sure. Open your hands for me, darling.” 

Tony smiled and hand out his hands, Loki held his above them, and pushed his Seiðr again, seeing it touch Tony’s own energy and them both revealing the bond around them. It was still a little broken, at a few places, but it definitely seemed to be healing. 

“This is so beautiful”, he heard Tony whisper, only missing the little ‘so’ and Loki stepped near him, pulling him against his body and pressing their lips together. 

“I feel more and more myself.” 

“You look a lot more like yourself, more life-like.” 

Loki snickered and lifted Tony a little, before laying him down on the bed. “I slightly regret telling you no sex.” 

Tony laughed loudly and Loki smiled even brighter. “Do you think it would be completely healed if we would?”, the man then asked. 

“Probably”, Loki answered with a smirk, before leaning down to kiss Tony’s chest. 

“I hate to interrupt”, J.A.R.V.I.S. said and both men groaned. 

“What is it J?” 

“There is a mission. And Master Stark is required to attend all missions until the ‘Norse paganists’ have been caught.” 

“Don’t let anything happen to you, Lokes.” 

“I will be right back. You spend some time with Runa, kiss her from me. Eat something and make me something for when I get back.” 

“It will be horrible.” 

“A sandwich will do. Or make sure we have ice cream, because I love ice cream.” 

“Go, sweetheart, they need Snowflake.” 

“Depends. J.A.R.V.I.S., is it fires again?” 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

“I hate people sometimes.” Loki placed a kiss on Tony’s cheek. “I’ll be back.” 

“Sure, Terminator.” 

Loki teleported to the tower and flushed a little, when he found Clint in his room holding out his clothes. “Don’t look like that.” 

“I don’t have a look. Get dressed.” Loki grabbed the clothes and put them on, before following Clint. “So, _should_ I ask?”, Clint asked, when they reached the Quinjet. 

“Oh no, the Avengers missions are just a massive cockblock.” 

Clint coughed and the nearby Steve flushed red. “I, umm, I thought you wouldn’t, for the time being”, Clint said. 

“I hear ya, and it didn’t happen yet, but it’s gonna happen soon”, Loki told Clint. 

“Are you sexually frustrated again?”, Nat asked, zipping up her outfit, as she came down the Quinjet. 

“Again? More like still. And yes, touching is working wonders on the bond, can hear almost everything again.” 

“Really? That’s amazing”, Clint said with a smile. 

“So, can I have sex with my husband?”, Loki asked him plainly and Steve grew even redder. 

Clint sighed. “Yeah, fine, go have sex with your husband. But not now, now’s mission time.” 

“Yay.” Loki clapped his hands und transformed into his Jötunn form. 

Loki could barely stop his grin, when Fury said it was done and they could go home. He didn’t even wait for the Quinjet to touch down to teleport into the mansion. Swiftly he took out the comm and put it away, grinning as Tony held out ice cream. 

“You did amazing. I mean, it’s always fun to watch you, but it’s more fun to watch you, when you actually are having fun.” 

“Couldn’t wait to come back though”, Loki said, after two spoonful of ice cream and he put the box on the counter, reaching for Tony’s hand. 

“Shouldn’t you first shower?” 

“First, how much did you eat? Second, why don’t you join me in the shower?” 

“I’m full, but you’re gonna get full as well, if we’re gonna take a shower, too.” 

Loki grinned and grabbed the ice cream again, after sitting down on the counter. He took his time seductively eating every spoonful, while Tony got started a little, after just a few minutes and began taking his boots and armour off. By the time Loki had emptied the box, he was wearing just his pants. 

Tony threw the box away and put the spoon in the sink, while Loki gathered his clothes and walked upstairs, swaying his hips for the man a few feet behind him. He laid the clothes away and stripped completely after Tony closed and locked the door. He sent Tony a smirk, before pulling the man against him and making quick work of his clothes. 

Softly kissing they pressed against each other, slowly walking into the bathroom, while Tony let his hands run through Loki’s hair. Loki’s heart was beating loudly in his chest and he could feel Tony’s as well, when he laid his hand against it for a moment. 

They were both half-hard when the stepped under the warm stream in the shower and Loki sunk to his knees, looking up at his flushed lover. He stroked his erection twice before pushing the man against the wall and taking him all in one go, making him shout out in pleasure. Loki moaned around the shaft and closed his eyes, when Tony started stroking through his hair. His tongue wrapped itself around him, as he lifted off and licked across the tip, before standing back up. 

“I want to take you”, Loki whispered against Tony’s lips, before pressing their erections together, which required him lifting Tony so he could wrap his legs around him. 

“Yes”, Tony breathed, and Loki crushed their lips together again. 

The water was gentle as it fell upon them, and Loki felt steady enough to let one hand go from Tony’s back and move it between them, as the other started kissing and biting along Loki’s neck. When Loki took them both in hand, Tony shouted out again, rushing forward, making them both moan in pleasure. 

“Oh fuck, Loki, it’s been so long.” 

“Too long, way too long, dear. We didn’t even have any sex since Harley came to stay for the summer.” 

“Damn, it’s been so fucking long.” 

Tony panted, as Loki’s strokes started to go faster and when Tony came with shouted pleasure, Loki followed soon after, before cleaning them with a flick of a finger, faster than the running water could. He only set Tony down for a moment, still steadying him as he turned the water off and quickly dried them, making Tony shout out surprised, before he giggled. 

“Are you gonna clean me inside too?” 

“Of course, dear.” 

Loki pressed his lips against Tony’s. He lifted Tony up again, almost as high as he did the one time when they made his outfit, down in the workshop. Tony’s grin was wide as he leant down and kissed Loki, heat pooling around their chests. Carefully, Loki carried him into the bedroom and laid him onto the bed. He kissed him twice, before looking up. 

“Are you sure, you want to let me top?” 

“We wanted to for so long, just don’t rush in.” 

“I’ll be thorough, darling.” Loki kissed him again and the other flushed, when Loki laid him back more on the bed, before kneeling at the bottom, staring at Tony’s shyly closed legs. Softly, he started kissing up his legs, Easing Tony’s thighs apart. His lover’s breath hitched, and Loki could see he was getting aroused again, thanks to the effects of Iðunn’s apple. When he’d eased a little, Loki got up and got supplies. 

Tony would want to watch him, that would make preparing him a bit more difficult, he thought to himself, as he got his favourite oil, that even Tony had come to use more often than lube. He placed it beside the bed and Tony shivered a little while watching him. 

“You’ll tell me, if you change your mind, dearie, yes?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Can I put a cushion under your back to lift you a little?” 

“I could uh, just turn.” 

“I _know_ you’re gonna get more scared from that. This is your first time as a bottom, Tony, don’t worry.” 

Tony nodded quickly and moved a cushion. Loki knelt next to him for a moment, kissing him sweetly, before moving to kiss down the other’s body. 

“You need something to do?”, he asked. 

“Just get on with it, Lokes, I want you _now_.” 

Loki snickered and knelt at the bottom of the bed once more, moving directly in, to place a kiss on Tony’s hole, making the inventor jerk and Loki held him down with one hand, before moving near again and letting his tongue slip out. 

“That is… so weird… but good weird, oh Loki!” 

A shudder went through Loki’s body as well and he poked at the hole, softly pressuring it open with his tongue, before leaning back. 

“Do you need more to relax?” He didn’t mean to sound harsh and for a moment he thought, Tony had thought he meant it with anger in his voice. 

“N-need to see you.” Tony’s breath was hitching, and his eyes were barely open. 

Loki smiled up at him, before slicking his fingers and pressing one finger against Tony’s hole, getting up at the same time and leaning over to kiss Tony. He could feel him relaxing, as he slipped the finger in and letting it run against the walls. When he’d pushed it as far as it would go, Tony seemed surprised, before Loki moved his finger and watching Tony’s face change into moans, especially when he hit that one spot, that made him almost overflow. 

Tony was clinging to Loki, when he slipped the second finger in, pushing past the barriers. Tony’s moan was obscene, and Loki locked it away between their lips, while he began opening him up more and more. Tony didn’t even seem to notice, when Loki pushed in a third and fourth finger some time later. Loki checked with him, every now and then, but bliss had overtaken him. When Loki pulled out the fingers, Tony looked at him in shock. 

“Are we done?” 

“We’re just getting started”, Loki answered and moved a little, lining himself up, before slicking his shaft and looking up at him. “You still want…” 

“Fuck me, Loki, get on with it.” 

Loki laughed a little and Tony grinned, before they sealed their lips together. Loki was shaking a little as he pushed against Tony, telling him to breathe and relax. When he got the tip in, Tony came with a shouted cry. Loki breathed slowly, waiting till the muscles stopped clenching around him so violently and then slowly pushed in. 

He was really glad, that he had taken his time opening the other up, because he was still tight around him, but not so much that it was uncomfortable, Loki decided, looking into Tony’s beautiful normally brown eyes, that were shedding a few tears. When he was fully inside, Tony’s mouth was hanging open and his breath was hitching again. Loki had never done this before. Not with his real size. He’d always shrunk it down, always expected, Humans couldn’t take it. And he’d never thought of bedding males on Asgard. This was him; this was all real. 

“Breathe, darling”, he whispered against the other man’s skin and slowly helped him, by using his Seiðr to flow into Tony and open his lungs more. Tony teared again and his fingernails were buried in Loki’s back. 

“Oh god, oh fucking god.” 

“Yes. Your God.” 

Tony relaxed a little after that, before Loki slowly started moving. It was so much, it was as if he could burst any moment, just from being ingulfed in Tony’s heat. Tony howled and groaned and moaned, before suddenly letting go and staring at his stomach, while Loki pressed back in. 

“Oh fuck, Loki, you’re… you’re huge!” 

Loki looked down to see a small bulge forming and he leant down to kiss Tony wildly. He was really all inside him, he thought, as he felt the other man coming again, the clench around his shaft, making him pace up and hitting Tony’s sweet spot directly on, before he himself burst and emptied himself inside his lover. 

The taller laid atop the other, and Tony was kissing Loki’s face, over and over again. When Loki slipped out and weakly lifted his hand, Tony stopped him. 

“I want it to stay inside.” He flushed as he said it and Loki quickly pressed a kiss against his lips, before conjuring an anal plug. “Is that… enchanted?” 

“Can transform into anything I want it to. Will also not press in any places that could arouse you, unless, umm, _you_ want that.” 

Tony laughed. “Oh god, _my_ God, plug me.” 

Loki snickered and leant down to softly push the plug in, securing it in place, before making Tony’s mess disappear. 

“That was amazing, Lokes, we gotta do that again.” 

“I almost thought, you’d passed out in between”, Loki said with a little giggle and Tony kissed him sweetly. 

“We _have_ to do that again.” 

“First we gotta check something.” Loki pulled Tony up on his feet, making the man yelp and reach for his own backside. “Hands.” 

He let the Seiðr flow again and Tony grinned excited, when the bond looked completely repaired. 

“Man, I found your glasses sexy.” 

“Then I’ll keep wearing them”, Loki answered, kissing him, “Just for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I need to push up the rating?
> 
> And should I just set this chapter on fire and pretend it doesn't exist?
> 
> Actually, I think it's kinda important, Loki taking the reins for once...
> 
> I am always open to suggestions what I should do, so please comment.


	10. Being Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things happen. Time at the tower mostly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing things on my laptop is crap, as is doing it on my tablet, so I hope this will be fine.

Loki and Tony slept in the next morning, they cuddled and kissed, and everything was well, finally. Tony squirmed a little, when Loki played around with the plug and then they both went for breakfast in the most comfortable clothes they owned. At noon they went to the tower, gathering Runa from Bruce’s watch. Loki didn’t know he could smile that much. 

When Clint saw him with his glasses just at his shirt, he gave him a high-five and Steve just went as red as a tomato again, while Nat nodded. 

“All’s well for holiday season”, she said. 

“We’re just missing the general snow”, Clint added with a sigh. 

“Can’t do that, Clint”, Loki said, before looking at his blue daughter. “New York’s too big of an area.” 

“Can you make it snow around the tower?”, Tony asked, and Loki chuckled, making Runa giggle as well. 

“The tower I can do. Now or later?” 

Tony rubbed his hands together with a mischievous grin. Loki handed him Runa, before quickly teleporting back to the mansion and putting on his outfit. 

“I’m ready.” 

“I’ll take the picture”, Clint offered. 

“Hell no, this is a thing between the Starks. And we’ll fly. Rhodey will take the picture”, Tony told him. 

“What will I do? Hey, Lo, no glasses”, Rhodey asked as he came into the room, giving both him and Tony a high-five. 

“No glasses. Everything worked out”, Loki confirmed. 

“It was _amazing_ ”, Tony added, and Steve coughed loudly, before leaving the room. 

“I’m going to dip the tower in a bit of snow and you’re gonna take the picture.” 

“Actually, J is. But you’ll be our flying camera, while I carry Lokes.” 

“Isn’t that going to make things obvious?”, Rhodey asked Tony. 

“Hey, you carried Loki all those other times.” 

“But that was for missions.” 

“And I won’t mind the world knowing that I love him.” 

“It’s not according to plan”, Rhodey pressed. 

“It’s just a little hint. And once the plan is done, I’ll tell the world. If that’s okay with you, Lokes.” 

“As long as Runa still stays out of sight”, Loki told him. 

“Yeah, of course. We’ll basically test-drive the truth, see how the people react to us.” 

“Fine with me.” Loki gave Tony a chaste kiss and smiled. “Husband”, he hushed, and Tony grinned, laying their ringed hands together. 

“Husband.” 

“Go get the suit, Tony, let’s get this over with, before I start asking questions, like why the hell Steve keeps disappearing”, Rhodey said. 

“Language. Clint, would you mind looking after Runa?” Tony handed her over and she quickly clung to Clint’s shirt. 

“It would be my honour. Hey little one. Wait, does that make me her grandfather?”, Clint wondered. 

Loki thought for a moment, before shrugging. “That’s for you to decide. Tony, get your suit.” 

Tony sprinted out of the room, while Loki simply teleported to the roof with a smirk. 

“Okay, J.A.R.V.I.S., can you check with Darcy, if this sounds cool? ‘Our resident Snowflake is giving the tower a holiday makeover’?” 

“I can check with her. I personally think it’s rather snappy and to the point.” 

“I don’t know if I should take that as a compliment, J.A.R.V.I.S.” 

J.A.R.V.I.S. did not answer that and Loki smiled, as the two suits flew near. 

“Forward or backward, Lokes?”, Tony asked, and the trickster smiled. 

“Let’s do it backwards, we don’t want to give them _too_ much of a hint.” 

Tony flew down to him and Loki stepped onto the boots, leaning back against the armour’s chest plate, quickly moving to secure himself, using his Seiðr. 

“Ready, sweetheart?” 

“Yes.” 

Loki’s stomach turned a little, when they lifted off and his left hand went to clench onto Tony’s armoured wrist, as he stared down the high tower. He was not going to fall. Tony wouldn’t let him go, even if it was just Tony’s one arm around Loki. 

“It’s fine, Lokes, all is well.” 

“Yep”, Loki answered, trying not to concentrate on the height. 

“Rhodey, you getting a good shot of us?” 

“If you’d get started”, Loki heard through Tony’s helmet, “I’d get an even better shot.” 

Loki took a few deep breaths and then performed a spell creating a secured cloud above the tower, before cooling the temperature around it, making it snow. Tony laughed loudly behind him and Loki quickly grabbed onto his wrist again. 

“It would be a lot easier if Thor were here. Making him cry and just cooling the temperature above the tower”, Loki said after taking a few breaths. 

“Making your poor brother cry? That is _so_ unlike you Lokes.” 

Loki snickered and shook a little as they sat down to land. 

“Wait, wait…” Tony halted, and Loki thought for a moment. He might be correct. “We need to fly a bit lower so I can make sure the snow, or by the natural temperature surely rain by then, is caught.” 

“No drenching people in your magic water?” 

“Tony, please.” 

“Okay, okay, just don’t freak out more.” 

Loki sighed and rolled his eyes, while they flew lower and Loki made a magic water catcher, before waving at the employees who had come to the windows. Tony giggled and Loki smiled a little. 

“Up, up, and away, my dutiful ride.” 

“I will drop you.” Loki froze in place and Tony quickly grabbed him tighter, as he flew upwards. “Joke, Lokes, I won’t drop you. Never ever.” 

“That’s not fun, Tony.” 

“Okay, okay, it will never happen again.” Tony landed and Loki stepped down onto the secure ground, laying his hand on the ground a bit wobbly. “You okay?” 

“Flying so high is not very fun. I don’t feel safe.” 

“Okay.” 

“I’m here, Lo.” Loki looked up and Steve knelt next to him, helping him up and inside. “Get the suit off, Tony, otherwise people might think you’re _really_ just too lazy to join us on missions. I don’t think they’re ready to believe ‘unmanned armour’ yet.” 

“Yeah, yeah. See you soon, Lokes.” 

Of course, their wonderful day couldn’t stay that way. When 4 o’clock ran around Fury and Hill appeared in the tower. It really wasn’t all that surprising, at least, it shouldn’t have been. Thankfully the team never saw them and when Tony suddenly got up from the table, looked at Loki with an intensity that was a bit frightening and said loudly: “Important Stark business, Y’all are going to be okay for an hour or two, right?” Loki could just roll his eyes. 

Nat whistled, Steve blushed and Rhodey said: “Very inconspicuous, Tony.” 

“You’ll look after Runa for the two of us, right?”, Tony asked. 

“Yeah, yeah, we got her”, Clint said, “You two have fun.” He grabbed Loki’s arm for a moment and whispered: “Not too much fun.” 

“We won’t”, Loki answered and rolled his eyes a little, before following Tony out of the room. “They think you are sex-hungry, Tony. And they think I’m your fuck-toy.” 

“Oh, let them think, if you and I both know it’s not true…” 

“I’d rather _not_ let Clint think.” 

“Does he still want to kill me?” 

“Choke you, maybe, kill… He knows I won’t like that.” 

Tony opened the door to their secure floor. “Oh, look who let themselves in. Mister and Mis’ress badass.” 

“Stark”, Hill said, looking at Tony, before looking over to Loki, “Other Stark.” 

Loki smirked. “Do you like our decorative icing on the tower?” 

“Very cute. Meant we couldn’t land here, but a few blocks down”, Fury answered. 

“On the other hand, it made fewer questions. Other than the team thinking we’re in a very long make-out and sex session”, Loki explained. 

“I see you’re not wearing your glasses anymore”, Fury mentioned. 

“Making out and sex helps with your hearing, did you know, Fury?”, Tony asked, “Maybe it’ll help with your eye as well. When _was_ the last time you got laid?” 

“We have things to discuss”, Fury told them. 

“Yeah, for one, why is it always fire?”, Loki asked, as the moved to the server room. 

“Maybe to get you out and seen, I don’t know. Making fires makes sure that someone with snow will take them out”, Fury offered. 

“Who do we have?”, Hill asked. 

Tony cleared his throat, before starting: “Well, like I said last time, sorry Lokes, you weren’t there, S.T.R.I.K.E. is HYDRA, as well as Pierce, Sitwell, we got a few others. The team seems fine at the moment, though Nat’s old pal wasn’t a good sign. The Winter Soldier is on Steve’s ass, but as long as Loki is around him, he doesn’t seem to take the shot, at risk of exposing his position. You told me about Coulson’s team, I’m still waiting for my reply if he’ll come to our holiday party. We have to call it holiday party, because ‘Christmas party’ apparently is too excluding. Anyway…” Tony handed Fury a file and the man cursed. 

“That does not make me happy”, Fury said. 

“You think they’ll be able to deal with it? I know they got this new hacker-chick, if he turns her…”, Tony told them, a little worried. 

“Yeah, that won’t be good”, Fury agreed. 

“So, when’s this going to happen?”, Tony asked. 

“After we dealt with the current problem”, Fury evaded. 

“I was asking for a time-line, Fury. Or do I have to come to you with all the parties I got planned?” Tony smirked a little at that thought. 

“I plan to get Rogers and Romanoff in on a S.T.R.I.K.E. mission. After that it’s all open end”, Fury told them. 

“And when’s that?” 

Fury sighed a little, before saying: “Early next month.” 

“Really?”, Hill asked, “I haven’t heard anything yet.” 

“Because I haven’t planned it yet.” 

“That’s a risk, Nick”, she told the man. 

“I know. But we’ll have to take it. Stark worked on a few new tricks that’ll help us in the long run. I’m making Barton take his well-deserved vacation to keep him out of the whole mess. The two others will be able to handle themselves.” 

“Good. Is Pierce happy?”, Loki asked. 

“What?”, Fury asked Loki, who had kept quiet for a while. 

“Is the man happy? He might suspect something.” 

“Stark is almost done installing everything, including the remote-control emergency landing.” 

“I’m calling it a leash on S.H.I.E.L.D.”, Tony told Loki with a smirk. 

“Very fitting”, Loki answered. 

“So, will you be on call for when shit should go down?”, Fury asked Loki. 

“Me?”, Loki asked, pointing at himself with raised eyebrows and when Fury nodded, he opened his arms with a smirk, doing a slight bow. “I am at your disposal. Though, I have one request.” 

“Name it.” 

“Don’t tell me what to do, Fury. Free reign, I won’t kill without permission, but at least let me make the decisions for once. Playing by the rules is really getting boring.” 

“Fine. Will you still go where you’re told?” 

“Course. Unless more pressing things happen.” 

“And what would be more pressing?” 

“Friends. I seem to have a few of those, and most might call me for help, if they should be in trouble.” 

“Friends like Romanoff and Rogers?”, Fury wondered. 

“For one. I come when called. Most times. Unless I’m busy. I can’t split myself and my illusions won’t do it, will they?” 

Fury rolled his eyes. “If anything happens to me, Stark will drop HYDRA’s secrets on the net. Some link to S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets, but it’ll be fine.” 

“If you say so”, Loki answered with a smirk and then sighed. “If _you_ need to be saved…” 

“I’ll call Hill. You can’t be involved there. Pierce has to think that he got us.” 

“And Pierce is the big bad wolf?”, Loki asked. 

“Doesn’t look like it from my point either”, Tony said. “I’ll keep working on it, after all, we still have to locate a missing Sceptre.” 

“That I want nowhere near me. I’ve had enough of those for another year or two”, Loki told them. 

“Let’s hope it doesn’t take us that long to find it though”, Tony said. 

“I still don’t want it anywhere near me. So, if you find it, please, I bet Clint thinks the same. Do what you want with it, you can’t destroy it anyway, but keep it away from me.” 

“You really fear that thing, do you?”, Hill asked him, and Loki shuddered a little. 

“I know they are not evil, not in itself, but even touching one is a curse. I already failed Thanos, yet he might still think me loyal and come after me, if I were to have one of the Stones in my possession.” 

“You won’t have to be near one ever again”, Tony told him, laying his hand on Loki’s arm. 

“I’m afraid, that, until Thanos has been slaughtered, I will not believe that the Norns do not have those plans for me.” 

“And the Norns rule your life?”, Tony asked. 

“They do not rule it, but they have plans in store for all of us. Thor, me, even Sleipnir and Runa.” 

“Me?” 

“You’re not Æsir.” 

“You’re not either.” 

“The Jötnar and the Æsir are very close in their beliefs. Frankly said, only Midgardians are exempt from the rule inside the realms.” 

December 16 was always a bad day for Tony. He wished he could be here with Loki, but instead it is Steve at his side. 

“I bet he’s proud of you”, Steve told him, and Tony wanted to snarl at him, as he put the flowers down. Reporters were around. Reporters were always around. But the bodyguards kept them far enough away, that they could only see what was happening, but not hear. 

“I don’t care about him”, Tony whispered, knowing Steve could clearly hear him. “I know he was great, when you met him, but you didn’t have to grow up with him. Losing you, I think it drove him insane.” 

“But your mother, Maria, she loved you, right?” 

“Yeah, she did. But she wouldn’t be proud of me either.” Tony knelt in front of the gravestone and let his hand run over the names, while Steve’s strong hand moved to his shoulder. “Who could be proud of a husband-beating son?” 

“It happened twice.” 

“Three times, actually.” 

“Three? You did it again?” 

“No.” Tony winced as Steve’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “I did it twice on that day. I guess Loki forgot, but thinking back… I hit him at Xavier’s. He healed me and I slapped him, because he’d engaged in an attack on four armed men.” 

“And the time after that?” 

Tony chuckled as he sat down on the frozen ground, leaning back against stone, Steve moving beside him. “The time after that? He was saying I was going to die for loving him, for being with him, and even if I didn’t, he’d see me grow old and couldn’t lift a finger.” 

“But you ate the Golden Apple.” 

“I didn’t know about that, and he didn’t know if he could get me one. Do you want to know what I hate most about the whole thing?” Tony looked up to Steve and sent him a pained smile. 

“Sure.” 

“Every time that I screw up, he comes crawling back. It’s always him, I never make any attempt. Or well, I get drunk and then put it on hold, but before I can even think about making any kind of apology, he’s already done it. It makes me feel like a horrible human being. Like I never do anything good for him. All I do is throw money at the problem. That I can do quickly, with the flick of a hand. If someone needs money, or needs something bought, easy. But if it’s something I can’t fix with money…” 

Steve nodded slowly. “It just takes you longer.” 

“People say I never apologise. Or that I don’t mean it. Thing is, I do mean it. I hate myself for ever laying a hand on him. I don’t think I can get over that. But if I come out and apologise right away, there comes the question of why. Why was it wrong what I did? And I… It’s easy, knowing why it was wrong, I don’t need to be told that, but it always comes of…” 

“With your usual sass?” 

Tony snorted and nodded. “Yeah. If I come back two seconds later and apologise…” Tony sighed. “I _should have_ come back two seconds later and apologised. I shouldn’t have even given him the option of being the first to do that. He always blames himself, for everything that goes wrong. He went to Svartalfheim and killed because _Odin_ wanted him to, he blames himself for that, too. And then he came back and I was angry, because I was so fucking scared to be alone again and I hit him, and he blames himself for that. I _physically_ hurt him, and yet he apologises. I screwed up. He shouldn’t feel the need to apologise to me. I should have hit Odin, because that bastard, he’d have deserved it.” 

Steve nodded. “You’re right, he would have deserved that.” 

“I don’t even know _how_ he can forgive me for it. You know, the first thing I kinda understand. He hurt me emotionally, I hurt him physically. It still isn’t right, but I get it. I get, how he can forgive me for it. I still should have apologised, told him, that he wasn’t at fault. I’m not fluent in that… I’m not fluent in romance and good emotions and people that actually matter to me. I need time to do that, I need time to understand that.” 

Tony tried blinking away his tears. “I would have needed her for that. When I was twenty-one, I wasn’t emotionally there yet. I had flings and one good friend. Platypus knew that I was screwed up, that something wasn’t right with me. I didn’t have a care in the world. I wasn’t ready to lose her. I still needed her. I needed guidance. He couldn’t give that to me, he was just a friend. Jarvis, the real one, he tried, maybe I was just too stubborn to actually learn from him. Everything good I ever learned, I put that on Jarvis. That I can cook without burning the house down…” 

Steve laughed aloud and Tony smiled a little. “I don’t deserve Loki. Hell, Howard didn’t deserve Maria either, but I don’t deserve Loki’s kindness. He doesn’t think of himself first. He’d die for all of us in a heartbeat, he’s reckless and that scares me a little. Maybe not just a little. It scares me a whole lot. But at the end of the day, he does it, because he cares. He went without any of us, what, two times, outside the tower, the mansion, your apartment… And he got what, two new friends?” 

“Three actually. Kate and he have been chatting a lot, I hear. And I think May has a husband and a nephew, but I don’t know if he met them already.” 

“Oh, and he went to Wakanda and Shuri and he are great friends now. But that doesn’t really count, because he’s been friends with her family for over a decade. But he cares so much that he’s basically friends with everyone he meets.” 

“Except the S.H.I.E.L.D. guys.” 

“I don’t think Fury hates him all that much. Everywhere he goes, he finds a new friend. I just… Why would he want to be with me?” 

“Because he loves you. And you love him.” 

“It doesn’t make any sense”, Tony murmured, shaking his head and Steve laid his arm around him. 

“It doesn’t need to make sense. You love him, right?” 

“Yeah I do. I’d do almost anything he might want of me. If he’d want me to kill someone… I don’t think I’d even blink. Only thing I wouldn’t be able to do is give up our family.” 

“You wouldn’t let him divorce you, if he wanted to?” 

“No, that… If he wanted to divorce me, sure, but I just… I’d miss Runa too much. Runa, she’s my… I never thought, I’d have a kid and now that we do… I don’t think I could live, knowing I could never see her again. Same goes with Loki. I could live with him not being my husband, I want him to be happy, and if I don’t make him happy, that’s just that. I just couldn’t live without him here.” Tony put his fist on his sternum. “He could be planets away, as long as I still know he’s alive, I’m good.” 

“You really did try, didn’t you?” 

Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah. I thought he was dead. I thought he was dead, and it had to be my fault. I didn’t want to be alive after that.” 

“But he’s still here. And he’s forgiven you.” 

“He has. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to.” Tony got up on his feet with a groan and offered Steve his hand and pulled him off the ground. “Thank you for coming with me.” 

“Thank you for the talk.” 

Tony sent him a weak smile. “You wanna take the car back?” 

Steve chuckled. “Better than the jet. Sometimes when I get up there, I don’t know, feels weird. Did you know your father flew Peg and me into an active warzone? 

“Oh, do I? He’d never shut up about it. Never shut up about you either. About anything. Whatever I did, I could always hear him say under his breath: ‘Well, he’s no Steve Rogers’. I was never good enough for him. You know 2010, S.H.I.E.L.D. brought me a bunch of his files and he made a video for me. Told me I was his ‘greatest creation’.” 

“Ouch.” 

“Yeah, right, what kind of bastard says that about his _son?_ Like I had only one purpose when I was born. Like I wasn’t allowed to stray from the path he was making for me. Like I was a machine, that just had to work, just doing one job.” 

“Well, you are Iron Man. But beneath all that, you’re still just Tony Stark.” 

“Genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist?”, Tony asked with a smirk on his face. 

“To the public. But yes, you are a genius, a billionaire and a philanthropist. But most importantly. You’re a hero, a husband and a father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @It_is_i34, you totally knew this last part was coming, right?
> 
> I hope I did it well, Tony's done a bit of self-reflection, I didn't think that it would be Steve he'd be talking to, I had originally planned one of the Carters, but I think it worked out well.  
> Usually I write in one string and don't add scenes later, but that one had to go there. Sometimes I write things beforehand, like the time Harley visited, but not afterwards...  
> Often it changes a lot, the further along in the work it is, because things don't always work out like I wanted them to...


	11. 2014

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter Holidays and New Years Eve, we're getting closer to 2014.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I probably could have planned this right.
> 
> And I'm sorry for being a couple hours late. I had hoped to get less sick with a bit of sleep.

It wasn’t Christmas. The event they were celebrating were the winter holidays. Thor and Loki looked a little confused as to why the people seemed to lay such care on a word. They were still singing Christmas carols, which confused the two even more. At least Sleipnir seemed to enjoy himself. Loki had begun the day travelling with two disguised Avengers, Clint and Thor, to a few friends of his. 

May he had presented with a ‘fool proof’ rice cooker, which he hoped she would not destroy before New Year’s Eve. The woman seemed to have a few fights with electronics. Her nephew promised to take good care of it and not let her near it, which Loki found even more amusing. 

They visited Sam as well, who he gifted a StarkWatch that was also enchanted so Loki could be called upon. That led to an half-hour lesson by Clint, where the two tested out the limits of the device. 

Harley got a coupon to enchant his potato gun, which Loki strongly believed he would keep for another five years and then come to Loki with, when he’d made the ‘perfect’ potato gun. 

Darcy received a stack of business card that had a photo of her with Thor and Loki on the front and on the back was written: ‘I know two Gods, don’t make me tase you’. Jane on the other hand got a few rare translated books, that Loki had written down himself. He had already planned to gift her with enchanted glasses that could translate anything, but the enchantment was not yet working like Loki wanted, at least from what Bruce and Tony had reported. 

Thor was going to stay with the two ladies until New Year’s Eve, where they were all expected in New York to celebrate with the Avengers. Thor himself got a build-a-bear that looked like him, because Loki honestly did not know what else to gift the man after a thousand years. Maybe _that_ was why they didn’t celebrate birthdays on Asgard. 

Nat and Clint left long before dinner, making Loki hastily get their presents together. Nat gave a small smile at hers, a folder of photos of all Avengers in compromising positions, while Clint tried to smash one of the ‘unbreakable’ cups with the inscription: ‘Universe’s best substitute Dad’ on the ground. Thankfully they were indeed enchanted, and Loki had given the man a whole box of them, because he knew, somehow Clint would eventually find a way to break one anyway. 

Pepper and Happy left together as well. She got a set of high heels that could transform into flats by clicking the heels together three times. He got a shield to put on his car, saying ‘Irresponsible Maniac on Board’. 

Rhodey stayed long enough for dinner, but left shortly after with a recording of Tony saying: “I mean, if nobody knows by now, that they’re gonna have a very bad day, if they touch my Platypus…” 

Steve and Bruce were going to stay over the holidays this time, so by the time midnight rolled around and Christmas Day begun, Loki only had four gifts left to give, as they did not plan on gifting Runa anything, because it made not much sense to them. 

Steve got painting supplies and a whole paid-for painting course, while Bruce got a ‘Nope’-card with a recharge time of a week. If he were to get into a situation he did not want to be in, Bruce could call onto Loki and he would either get him out or switch places with him. 

Tony received a toolbox that looked like Mjølnir, which he quickly posted in the Avengers group chat making Darcy sent a picture of a very confused Thor back, who was patting his hammer. 

Sleipnir was very excited for his first Christmas and Loki had something very special made for him, a handwritten spell book with notes where or on whom to test it. 

It was chaos. And Loki loved chaos. All the Avengers were going to be there, celebrating together in front of New York. Loki had a buzz running through him all day. Every time he and Tony locked eyes, they both seemed to tell each other: “Remember?” 

“Remember back then, five years ago, the day we met. I was drunk and you were sick.” Loki chuckled a bit at the thought. The people loved Loki and Sleipnir. His son had been nervous all morning and dressed himself five different times, until Darcy came in and raided the closet to give him a makeover. Thor seemed so proud on Sleipnir’s other side. The only people missing, were Pepper and Happy, who were staying at the guesthouse beside the mansion tonight and were looking after Runa. From there they could see the lights, but it was relatively quiet. 

Tony had told him sometime, when they had a moment to themselves, that the only thing he regretted tonight, was, that they could not be together, that he couldn’t kiss him when the clock would strike twelve. 

Loki was watching Bruce for most of the evening, he and Steve had spent the last year away from New York, but they seemed fine at the moment. Steve was slightly tipsy by the time it was half past eleven. Thor and he had toasted with a bit of Ale. Loki had verified, that Thor did not have as much with him as he had at the remembrance event in May. 

Jane and Bruce were in deep discussion on something scientific, while Darcy made notes on everything Nat told her. Rhodey and Tony were joking together. Loki checked the clock again. Ten minutes. He was getting nervous. Tony sent him a worried look, but he just shook his head and went to look for Clint. The man was sitting perched at the side of the stage they were on and was staring at his phone. 

“You gonna call her at midnight?” 

“Probably wouldn’t get through anyway”, Clint said and sent Loki a soft smile. “You haven’t gone small in a while, you sure I need all those cups?” 

“You deserve them. And you _could_ ask J.A.R.V.I.S. to make a priority call for you on midnight.” 

“Thanks for the tip. I’ll try that.” 

Loki turned and walked away. He was paranoid, wasn’t he? Steve, Thor, Bruce, Jane, Darcy, Nat, Tony, Rhodey, Clint… Where was Sleipnir? 

Panic set in and Tony turned to him again, even more worried now. His breath got quicker as he walked around, it probably had something to do with the lights, right? They were too bright, he was sensitive, right? He was probably just hiding somewhere. Last he’d seen him, Sleipnir had been with Thor, after that… maybe Darcy? He probably got bored. He just walked off; everything was fine. Everything was totally fine. 

Everything was not fine, Loki decided, when he felt a needle in his neck and saw the bright night-sky go dark as something was put over his head. _‘Tony?!’_

When Loki woke, he felt like crap. And he noticed something else. He couldn’t hear anymore. He groaned a little. Really, again? 

A few people came into view and started talking. Loki didn’t even try to read their lips. They pointed to the shackles and Loki followed what they were pointing at. Really? Were there blueprints out there somewhere for these? There might be, he added with a shrug and a short raise of his eyebrow, before he started looking around the room. 

Rural area, it looked like. Had to still be in New York or somewhere near probably, hopefully, every now and then, the room flashed a different colour, so not much time could have passed unless they were in a whole other time zone. They had tried to separate the bond. They had gotten pretty far too. Problem was, the bond couldn’t be separated, if Loki or Tony didn’t give in. It just needed one of them. Maybe they knew that. 

Loki snapped his attention back to the kidnappers, when one of them kicked at the bed he was bound to. 

“{If you’re really that dumb and cut the bond, to then want to talk to me, while I’m deaf, that’s not my problem}”, Loki said with another raised eyebrow and started rolling his eyes when one of the guys started to talk slowly with overexaggerated expressions. “{I can’t read your fucking lips, when my eyesight is getting dull.}” 

They all looked at each other and Loki sighed. “{You got my clothes, right? Because, yeah this is comfortable and I feel really weirded out, that you undressed me, without my permission, but in my jacket should be a glasses case, for just in case. Hah, glasses case in case.}” 

One of the guys walked away and came back with the case. The mission glasses. Well, at least they wouldn’t have ‘Stark Industries’ inscribed on them. When the man put them on, Loki sighed a little. 

“Much better, colour, check, people, check, man you all look _sharp_ now.” 

‘Welcome back, Master Stark, I am tracking your location.’ 

“Wonderful, where were we? You were probably telling me all you’ve done to or for me, which was it?” 

“To”, a tall, blond woman told him, “We have your son.” 

“Really? I was looking for him. If you get me to him, I can be out of your hair in a second.” 

“You will not see him.” 

“That’s sad. I mean, I already spend so little time with him, the little one is all I got left.” 

“Didn’t you have like six children?” 

“Hush, rumours, why take everything by its word, I mean, Svaðilfari isn’t even a horse. Horrifying, right? Think about it, the man knew _exactly_ who I was and just raped me. Nothing worse than getting raped by a horse-cock. Every other time was gentle in comparison.” 

‘We have located you, stay put, the Avengers are on their way.’ 

“Alright, how about we see my little shapeshifting boy now?” 

“Don’t you want to know what we want?” 

“The bond, obviously. And you’ve run against a problem, haven’t you? Tell dear old chaos-daddy about that.” 

“We can’t break it.” 

“ _No_ ”, Loki said in mock-shock. “Who would have thought, some mere Mortals can _not_ break a bond of a thousand-year-old sorcerer.” 

“You will break it.” 

“Will I? And you will convince me how?” Loki raised his eyebrows again. 

“We have your son.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Like I said, I’ve spent little time with the boy, he’s more attached to me, than I am to him. I locked his father away for life, the poor thing is staying with Thor’s dad, who rode him for centuries. I mean on the one hand, he deserves a fucking break, on another, I didn’t really want him in the first place.” 

Two guys lifted him up. “Like you said”, the woman spoke in front of him, “He’s your last son. You don’t want to lose him.” 

“Who thought, I wanted kids in the first place?”, Loki answered, as he was dragged down the hall, “Oh, hey, Sleipnir, how are you, dearie, don’t worry we’ll be out here in just a few moments. Shitty Mortal holidays, am I right? I try to understand them, but it’s like every decade they add new stuff, I mean the last New Year’s I spent on Midgard, they meant to tell me, that I couldn’t just drink all day and live like that. It wasn’t _healthy_.” 

They threw Loki on the ground before Sleipnir, who was stripped to his underwear and had deep cuts in him. “Ma? What’s going on? What do they want?” 

“Oh, they just want the bond, don’t worry sweetheart.” Loki winked at him. 

“You can’t give them that.” 

“Oh, don’t worry, sweetie. I don’t know how long it’ll take, but we’re getting out of here.” 

“We don’t have anything to do for the next few weeks”, the woman said as she got into view. 

“Hmm, really? Me neither.” 

‘ETA two minutes, stay with Sleipnir, if you can, we have the Quinjet coming as well.’ 

Loki laid his bound arms around Sleipnir and smiled at him. “We can just outlive them, right sweetheart?” 

Sleipnir smiled. “Yes, Ma.” 

“We will kill him”, the woman told him. 

Norns they were annoying. Loki rolled his eyes, before looking up and giving her a raised eyebrow. “And then you will have nothing to hold over my head. You won’t kill my sweet boy. I mean, the kid’s basically just out of his diapers, how can you have _that_ on your consciousness? I kill, yeah, hurt too, but kids are out of the question. Children aren’t supposed to have it hard; they aren’t supposed to need to stand up for humanity. All us elders, we’re supposed to do that, we’re supposed to steer politics, economy, whatever else you Humans have, in the right direction. We’re supposed to make it easy. Does he look calm, safe?” 

Loki pressed a kiss against Sleipnir’s temple. “The gap is supposed to close, between rich and poor. But I’m a prince, right, I have money, I have respect, I can do what I want…” Loki scoffed. “As if. I don’t even have the last. The poor have that. Whenever I did such a thing, like step into the wrong direction, I’d get scolded. Playing chess with the masters and sacrificing the queen to get checkmate? Unthought of. Scolded again. Remind me to teach you chess, right, Sleipnir?” 

“Yes, Ma.” 

“Good boy. You trust me, right?” 

“Yes, Ma.” 

“I’ll protect you?” 

“Yes, Ma.” 

“Good.” Loki peeked at the timer that was coming to zero and he pressed Sleipnir’s head into his chest. “Such a sweet boy.” 

The walls were breaking down and Sleipnir only shook a little. “We’re safe”, Loki whispered in his ear, “They’d never leave us.” Sleipnir clung onto him and Loki gave a shy smile to his brother, who was grabbing one of the people by the neck. “Would you mind finding a key, while you’re at it, Brother?” 

“Do you mean these?”, the other asked, grabbing a key ring and throwing it to Loki. 

The trickster made quick work of his and Sleipnir’s bindings, before carefully healing his son. “Ma…”, the younger cried in his chest and Loki tried to make soothing noises, while the Avengers were still picking up the people and dispensing them in the Quinjet. 

“It will be alright, little one, you’re safe here, I’ll never let anything bad happen to you.” Loki pressed his lips to Sleipnir’s temple and let his Seiðr flow into Sleipnir’s body, repairing the damage the bastards had done. “I wish I was allowed to do to them what they did to you. J, you got images, right? As proof?” 

‘Of course, Master Stark.’ 

“Good. Look at me, Sleipnir.” Sleipnir looked up, teary-eyed. “Mama will always protect you.” 

“Yes, Ma. Thank you, Ma.” 

“It does not need to be thanked for. It is only natural that I will protect you. You are my own child. Anything you heard that said something different…” 

“I know you were playing into their hand, so they’d feel confident, Ma. I’m not dumb.” 

Loki grinned and pressed another kiss to Sleipnir’s temple. “A child of mine could _never_ be dumb.” 

Sleipnir hummed against Loki’s chest and Loki lifted him up a little, quickly noticing how he clung to his side. Swiftly he conjured him some warm clothes out of his dimensional pocket, but the boy still stayed close. 

“Once we’re home, dearie, I have to see Tony again, because of the bond.” 

“You’re deaf again.” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, but only when we’re home.” Sleipnir clung a little tighter. 

“Do you want to teleport or be flown?” 

“Which will make me stay with you longer?” 

Loki laughed loudly and then looked outside. “Fly, I’d say.” 

“Happy’s coming with the car”, informed Tony them, landing next to Loki and opening his visor. 

“They are supposed to enjoy their evening off.” 

“Well, when they don’t see you at the celebrations, they get worried. We also had a couple people running around town to see, if they could detect any spikes in cold.” 

“Nice.” 

“We need to spend some time together once I’m home, right?” 

“Yeah. You’ll love it.” 

“I’m sure. But I still hate that they did this.” 

“I promise, if someone asks me, if we’re alright, they will have a cold for a week.” 

Tony snickered. “We got them.” 

“Exactly. That’s all that matters.” 

“Now, onto the next adventure.” 

Loki rolled his eyes at him. “Mind leading us downstairs, Iron Man?” 

“Of course, anything for you two.” 

Loki was stroking Sleipnir’s back, when Tony finally came home from the S.H.I.E.L.D. talk. Sleipnir had been crying silently for a while, before he had fallen asleep in his arms. He was a little heavy, but Loki lifted him anyway and carried him upstairs, making sure the younger one would not wake. After he’d tucked him in and closed the door as silently as he could, he made his way downstairs again, hugging Tony, that had put on a pot of water for cooking pasta. They stayed like that for a little while, before they separated and continued cooking. 

They silently sat next to each other, while eating, every once in a while, pressing against each other. Tony was still eating, when Loki got up and checked Runa’s room, a small sigh falling from his lips, when he found her sleeping. 

“You weren’t worried at all about yourself, were you?” Loki could feel Tony’s breath on his neck, before his arms wrapped themselves around his waist and he leant back. 

“I know that I can get myself out of trouble. And I knew you’d find me. I knew I could take it, whatever they had in store for me.” 

“You didn’t know it was going to happen, right?” 

“I didn’t, no.” Loki’s hands glided down and he shifted Tony’s hands atop his stomach. “Sometimes I miss her there.” 

“Because you knew she’d be safe?” 

“Yes. I didn’t have enough time with her. My months went over like weeks, and then suddenly I had a huge belly and then she was out.” 

“Yeah, feels like I had more time looking at your pregnant belly, than you had feeling that pregnant belly.” 

“I wish I felt closer to her. I wish she would be the first thing on my mind, when I wake up in the morning.” 

Tony’s head pressed against his back and he could feel him sigh. Loki turned and slipped down onto his knees, pressing his head into Tony’s stomach. A few tears left his eyes, as he silently cried. It felt like he had abandoned his new-born every step of the way. 

“Let’s go upstairs, dear”, Tony said and helped the other up, before wiping his tears away and kissing him. “We can worry again, when the year has really started.” 

Loki nodded, as he closed the door and let himself be led upstairs, let Tony lead him along. Slowly they undressed each other down to their underwear, before getting into the bed, Tony pulling Loki’s glasses off and putting them aside. 

‘Happy New Year’, Loki signed and sent him a weak smile. 

‘Happy New Year’, Tony signed back and kissed him softly, before snuggling close under the blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has one of my most-liked exchanges in it. And it's also kinda foreshadowing what's to come.
> 
> More importantly, we're finally rid of those bastards. Even though we didn't really hear a lot about them.
> 
> I spent a surprisingly long time figuring out the presents, but that was before I had to figure out presents in real life.
> 
> I really hope I'll never have to use "{" and "}" again.


	12. The Year has Just Begun

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're finally getting to the events of "Captain America: Winter Soldier".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is part 1 of 3 for the events of CA:WS, after that is mostly aftermath, where I still have to look through the time and hope that the pre-written scenes still fit.

Loki enjoyed having Tony. The man was so much more expressive when he was not on top. It was like opening a whole new door for him. They still switched, especially when Loki was feeling low and not willing to do much but needing it anyway. Tony took extra care of his female parts, making Loki fall apart just from his mouth and fingers. 

They hadn’t talked much about it, about Tony taking Loki without protection in his female parts. Loki asked once, remembering it felt better, but Tony had told him, risking another pregnancy with the HYDRA takedown in the near future, was not something he could take. Loki understood. At worst, he might be underground for a while and if they wanted a pregnancy, it should be at a relatively normal time. 

That’s the other thing Loki hadn’t talked about. He wanted a do-over. It didn’t feel right to Runa, but he needed another pregnancy to actually feel like a mother. It wasn’t fair and he hadn’t said anything because of it. He tried, held Runa, played with her. The five days they had, before Thor would take Sleipnir back to Asgard, almost felt normal. 

Tony and he would have sex in the morning, shower and then have breakfast with the kids and Bruce. Around noon Loki would call Clint to update him. In the afternoon he trained Sleipnir a bit in his use of Seiðr. He might even become a more powerful sorcerer than Loki was, he decided. After that, Sleipnir would spend some time with Bruce at his lab, the younger had become incredibly interested in biology, especially Midgard’s flora and fauna. 

That’s when Tony and Loki would take care of Runa together, she was starting to speak a little, making Loki cry for an entire afternoon, as the little one patted at his cheeks. 

“Amamama”, she repeated. 

Tony was rubbing Loki’s back and saying: “Mama don’t cry”, that only made Runa talk more. 

He’d missed so much. When he’d stopped crying, Tony got Runa’s favourite toys and she showed Loki how to play with them. Oh Norns, next month she’d turn a year. Loki held her close. He loved her; he didn’t want anything bad happen to her. 

“Mama loves you, Runa, Mama loves you so much.” 

“Una”, Runa answered and pressed her little hands against Loki’s body, before giving a small jolt and suddenly turning her hair long and her eyes green. Loki’s hands slapped onto his mouth. He stared to Tony, who seemed just as surprised. Loki let his hands fall and he lifted Runa, peppering kisses onto her light face. 

“My little shapeshifter, I’m so proud of you.” Runa giggled and he sat her down again, when the guise faded. “Oh, sweetheart, I’m so proud of you.” 

“We need to get her a tracker”, Tony suddenly said, pale. 

“She just shifted, dear, she’s not going to start teleporting.” 

Tony was running a hand through his hair. “Please, Lokes, just a tracker, in a bracelet.” 

“She’s going to want to take it off.” 

“Anything, please, Lokes.” 

Loki giggled and Runa followed suit. “You’re scaring Papa, Runa.” 

“I’m not scared.” 

“Yes, you are.” 

“Ar!” 

Loki laughed loudly and Runa smacked her hands together. They’d be fine, he’d be fine. He hadn’t lost her yet. 

On January 5, Sleipnir left, taking an almost black-out drunk Thor with him, that had returned from a drunken tour with Selvig. On the same day, Tony and Loki got a call. Apparently Fury had now completely lost the Sceptre, that he had failed to tell Loki and Tony, he’d just lost sight of, but had found after a few weeks, keeping it from the two, not fully believing Loki had not just wanted to find out where it was. Fury had put his plan in action. 

The next four days Tony and Loki were both nervous and Bruce seemed to notice. He didn’t ask though, just offered to make coffee and take care of Runa. The latter the two did themselves, even though Runa seemed pretty unhappy, sensing their emotions. 

When January 9 came to an end, they got a call from Hill. Tony should have the button in hand and that she needed Loki there with him. Loki kissed Tony once more and hugged their daughter closely, before teleporting away to the shown location. 

Fury was hurt. Loki could see that, and he got to work. 

“He’s supposed to be dead”, Hill said, and Loki just nodded. 

“Don’t go easy on me, Loki.” 

“You’re an asshole for not protecting the Sceptre better, Fury.” 

“Come on, you wouldn’t have trusted yourself either, in my position.” 

“You took me on a car-ride while I was blind and pregnant and lied to me. Have to give it to you, you’re a very skilled liar, Fury, to lie to the God of Lies.” 

The man howled a little, when Loki went with a bit more pressure and then decided to wrap him up. 

“Who got you anyway?”, Loki asked. 

“The Winter Soldier”, Hill answered, handing him a photo off a street camera. 

“A sniper never leaves his nest, they wanted to make this big.” 

“Or they just got desperate, they shot me at Rogers’ apartment”, Fury told him. 

“By Yggdrasil”, Loki breathed, opening a bottle of scotch he got out of his dimensional pocket and handing a glass to Fury and offering Hill one as well. 

“No thanks.” 

“Fine with me.” Loki downed it all in one go. “I’m not much of a drinker, but I’ll do it today. Is Rogers alright?” 

“As of yet.” 

“His neighbour?” 

“Yeah, she’s good”, Fury answered, and Loki smiled a little. 

“She’s one of yours.” 

“We haven’t tested her.” 

“I’m pretty sure, she’s not HYDRA.” 

“How?” 

“Let’s just say, she’s too nice.” 

“I’m nice.” 

Loki laughed loudly at Fury’s remark and poured himself another drink. “You’re a smug bastard, Fury, Kate’s nice. Was she there for Rogers’ protection or to protect anyone from him?” 

“More for the reason that he had someone to talk to.” 

“Goodness, does he know now?” 

“Yeah, I’d guess so.” 

They talked for a while after that, Loki didn’t ask, what other things Fury hadn’t told him and Fury didn’t ask, if Loki ever lied to him. Hill was keeping quiet and checking things on her laptop. Loki only realised, the day had changed, when Hill went out to get lunch. He offered, told them it would be safer, but apparently the two didn’t want him running home or the council getting wind of a free trickster. Loki was loyal to Fury and not to Pierce, that much they must know. 

Fury and he played a bit of Scrabble, while they were waiting. When Fury got frustrated over Scrabble, they played chess. After that it was poker. Fury didn’t win. Loki told him it surely was because of his injuries. 

Early in the morning on January 11, Loki got a call. 

“Trickster talking”, he answered cheerfully. 

“Hey it’s Sam, remember me?” 

Loki rolled his eyes. How could he not remember him? “Sure, what’s up?” 

“I think, you’d want to be here, two of your friends just showed up, thinking everyone’s trying to kill them.” 

“Really?” Loki raised one eyebrow. “I’m not planning any murders in the near future.” 

“Ha-ha. Can you see the location?” 

Loki concentrated a bit and then smiled. “I’ll be right there, hang tight.” Loki hung up. “I have to go, friend called.” 

“If we need you, we’ll call”, Hill told him and Loki nodded, before teleporting away. 

Loki grinned at Sam. “Which friends?” 

“Loki?”, Steve asked from the bedroom. 

“You look like you’ve been to Muspelheim and got into a fight with Fire Demons.” 

“What do you know, Loki?”, Nat asked, clearly having put two and two together. 

“What do _you_ know?” 

“HYDRA is inside S.H.I.E.L.D.” 

“ _Hey_ ”, Loki said with a grin, “You caught up a bit. To be honest, I was pretty sure, the team was clean.” 

“What more is there? Where did this start?” 

“When did I know?”, Loki corrected her, and Nat nodded. “Shortly after I started to remember.” 

“Over a year now?”, Steve asked, grabbing his arms harshly, “And you never told us?” 

“I didn’t know who to trust. Fury knew, Bruce I cleared before I went to the Triskelion with Tony, Tony himself, I cleared in May. Thor, I didn't have to clear, according to Fury, Clint and Rhodey I still haven’t. If you’re here and met my dear friend Sam or, in Clint’s humour ‘hot chocolate’, I bet you’re both clear.” 

“Fury is dead”, Steve told him, his head low. 

“Word gets around.” 

“The Winter Soldier killed him”, Nat informed Loki. 

“The one who fired the shot into the vents at the remembrance event. _Also_ , the one who was sent to kill you, Steve.” 

“He’s good.” 

“He’s talented, how many snipers do you know?” 

“Does Hawk qualify?”, Steve asked. 

“It was a rhetorical question. How’s Kate?” 

“Her name’s ‘Agent 13’.” 

“Ooh, lucky number.” 

“You knew?” 

“Her? Yes, that she was an agent? No.” 

“How?”, Nat wondered, and Loki rolled his eyes. 

“I know a lot of people.” 

“Like Sam?” 

“Oh yeah, like Sam, how have you been, started into the year great?” 

Sam hugged Loki for a moment. “Yeah, probably better than you. Saw you on T.V. with your son, he back home?” 

“Yeah, since the 5th. Thor as well.” 

He saw that Steve wanted to ask about Tony, but he turned to Nat instead. “Fury made Clint take his holiday, before this shit went down. To be quite honest, I didn’t know they were going to make _this_ open of a statement. I wonder what Pierce is planning.” 

“Pierce is HYDRA?” 

“As is the S.T.R.I.K.E. team, I believe you've met.” 

“Is all of S.H.I.E.L.D. compromised?”, Nat asked him. 

“That’s what we’re trying to prevent. A battle, lives lost. Once the go is given, Stark’s going to release HYDRA’s secrets. Basically, we have everything under control. Only the Winter Soldier is a wild card.” 

“Who can we trust?”, Sam asked, laying his hand on Loki's shoulder. “I mean, I know shit, but you might do well with another Soldier.” He handed Nat a file, realising she was the boss in the room. 

“This is you?”, she asked, obviously having heard of the name on the file before, and Loki laid his arm on Sam’s back. 

“Let’s make breakfast while the two read. I could need something too.” 

“How big?”, Sam asked him. 

“How big? A super soldier, a spy, an ex-soldier that’s preparing for battle and an alien? Super-huge breakfast.” 

“So, how long you gonna stay?” 

Loki looked at his phone, checking his messages for a moment. “Until I get called away. I can’t be out and about.” 

“Who calls your shots?” Sam was breaking eggs at the side of the pan. 

“Right now?” Loki looked back to the other two that were talking silently, a conversation he could easily overhear, if he wanted to. “They do. S.H.I.E.L.D. does. I got another officer I can trust there, in case…” 

“In case the guy who died dies?” 

“Yeah. Also, friends call my shots a bit. I’m on emergency schedule. You sounded like you had an emergency.” 

“What about Stark? You two good?” 

“Yeah, real good. He knows what I’m up to, basically.” Loki handed him a few things and opened the fridge. “Hmm, I might make a short trip to the tower, get a few ingredients.” 

“We can’t trust anyone”, Steve said behind him. 

“Do you want to starve or trust me? Stark still hasn’t figured out how to track me and he trusts what I do.” 

“I don’t trust him.” 

“Yeah, because you got almost blown to bits? Sorry, Cap, but we’ve all been there, done that. Remember that time, early on, that the tower got taken and I was teleporting Stark around like a fucking taxi? The stuff blew up in the lab with me still in it, get over it. Not everyone’s out to get your pretty head.” 

“I stand by Loki, by the way. You show up here, a bit dusty, it happens. Happens overseas all the time. Not literally _everyone_ ’s after you.” 

“Well, there is a manhunt after Steve and me.” 

“Cool, and who is the last fucking person you think of calling?” 

“Calls can be traced.” 

“Your fucking bracelet, Nat. Steve, your watch. A fucking ‘Loki, get us the hell out of here’, would have sufficed.” 

“We didn’t know we could…” 

“Oh really, why? What instance gave you two the impression I was not to be trusted? Was it the time I was mind-controlled to take over New York, or the time I risked my own life and sanity to save Jane? Yeah, no, Loki must be HYDRA. The fucking guys that _raped_ me after the battle were HYDRA.” 

Steve put his head down and Nat said: “Impressive, by the way, heard about that mission.” She put the file on the table, that said ‘EXO-7 FALCON’. 

“Glad I passed another test, I’m almost a full-fledged Avenger at this point.” 

“Which test did you pass?”, Steve asked with a cocked eyebrow. 

“Oh, I got the Barton approval rating down.” 

Steve looked between Loki and Sam and it finally seemed to click. “Oh, you’re the guy Loki met, while he ran away from us, before Tony got shot.” 

“Yeah that guy, tell you what, seeing a kid fall to his knees, because of a bullet that wasn’t in _them_ , was really freaky.” 

“I’ll get something to eat. Anything you two want? The good coffee? Can’t go to your apartment, Steve, it’s probably seized. A few things might take some time longer, but I’ll get started with food.” 

“I’ll make a list”, Nat answered, and Loki nodded, before pulling Steve into a hug and laying a hand on Nat’s shoulder in appreciation. 

“I am glad you two aren’t dead.” 

“And you can bring ‘the good coffee’”, Sam said, and Loki chuckled a bit. 

“See you soon.” 

Teleporting into the tower was quite refreshing. 

“Welcome back, Master Stark, shall I direct Sir to your location?” 

“You can. But you may tell him, I can’t talk scrap about what’s going on.” Loki grabbed the to-go cups and set the machine to brew some coffee, before opening the fridge and shoving stuff through a small portal onto Sam’s counter. 

“Are you stealing from me, Lokes?” 

Loki smiled brightly at Tony and pressed a kiss on his mouth. “Put it on my expenses, love.” 

“What do you need so much food for?” 

Loki raised his eyebrows, before turning at the beeping machine and starting the last coffee. “My pet wolves, what was the one called again in the stories? Fenrir?” 

“Oh, come on, Lokes, give me something, a hint.” 

“Were there any explosions near D.C. somewhere?”, Loki wondered out loud, tapping at his chin. 

“J.A.R.V.I.S.?” 

“Footage shows there was a missile strike directed to Camp Lehigh”, J.A.R.V.I.S. informed them. 

“Where did I hear that name before?” 

“Agent Carter and your father worked there for some time, Sir. It was also, apparently, the birthplace of Captain America.” 

Tony raised an eyebrow at Loki, who just shrugged. “You could have found that yourself, been alerted, something, wasn’t me, I’ll be back.” He kissed Tony’s cheek and then brought the coffee with him to Sam’s place. 

“They shot up Lehigh, really?” 

“How’d you know?”, Steve asked. 

“J.A.R.V.I.S. reported on an explosion in an interesting facility. Stark would say hi, but he doesn’t know I talk to you.” 

“How scandalous”, Nat said, and Loki smirked, before taking her list. 

“Vests, really? That’s gonna raise a couple eyebrows.” 

“Does Tony have them?” 

Loki thinks for a second. “Yeah, think so, I’ll collect it and bring it back here, if you disappear from me…” 

“Vests and laser pointer first.” 

“Stark’s going to question you after all of this. You better hope my breakfast is ready, when I get back with all of this.” Loki grabbed his coffee and teleported back. 

Taking a sip from his coffee, he looked at Tony. “I need a laser pointer and vests.” 

“What the fuck are they doing?” 

“I have no idea what they are planning, I feel like a moving party.” 

“Oh, dearie, no. They love you, probably”, Tony told him, giving him a short hug. 

“Not as much as this one person I know and going to have so much…” 

Tony cut him off with his lips and then pulled him along. “Laser pointer and vests. How many of each?” 

“Maybe half a dozen of each.” 

“Lokes. There were four cups of coffee.” 

“Well…” Loki said, “I guess it’s three then.” 

“What else?” 

Loki stared onto the paper. “A pair of… Stark’s really cool sunglasses.” 

“I don’t know if I should be upset or amused.” 

“Probably a bit of both.” 

“At least the person has style.” 

Tony left Loki in the armoury, before running off to find laser pointers and sunglasses. Quickly Loki sorted to the things, delivering the vests quickly enough, taking an omelette back with him, while he looked for the weapons Nat wanted. 

“A pair of Stark approved sunglasses and a box of normal laser pointers. I don’t think they want those that actually cut through things.” 

“I love you”, Loki said, kissed Tony’s cheek and teleported out, before even realising that had been the first time in a long time, he had said those words to the man. 

“What are you so pale for?”, Sam asked Loki and Loki just shook the thought away. 

“Sorry. Stark approved sunglasses, you better look good in them. And laser pointers. The non-killing kind.” 

“Tony has laser pointers that can kill?”, Steve asked, pale and both Nat and Loki shrugged. 

“It’s Stark”, she said, “what do you expect?” 

“I think that was all. I can’t go with you.” 

“Not now at least”, Steve said, “We’ll be calling you into battle soon.” 

“If there is one happening. I’ll be back at places and get myself a vest as well…” 

“Tony still doesn’t know?”, Nat asked. 

“He saw the cups, knows there’s three people.” 

“You hate lying, Lo, you doing fine so far?”, Steve wanted to know. 

“Not giving up all information and lying is a whole different thing. And Stark knows I’m in ‘classified’ mode. He worries, but he won’t ask anything that could get either of us into trouble.” 

“Seems like a good guy”, Sam said, and Loki smirked at him. 

“Glasses frame you nicely, Mister Wilson.” 

“Shit, kid, stop with that stuff.” 

“I wish you all good luck. May your road lead you to glory. And really. Fucking _call_ me, when you get into trouble next time. You all have devices that let you.” He pulled them all into a short hug, even Nat, who seemed to be a bit put-off by it, and then teleported out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it going okay? I'm very worried about how I'm fixing the movie. I also had to rewatch it while writing and noticed they all kinda shifted from the original.


	13. Triskelion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 of 3 for "Captain America: Winter Soldier" fix-it (?) / rewrite (?)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas, happy holidays.
> 
> I got two Loki-themed T-Shirts and one MCU themed T-Shirt for christmas. I think the fan in my is finally showing (it's not like I've been subtly collecting comics for the last couple years.

Loki sighed a little, as he stripped off his upper materials. For a moment he let his hand run over the material. He knew there was some kind of vest material sewn into his suit, but better safe than sorry, right? 

“Well this is a nice surprise”, Tony said behind him and Loki sent him a short smile, before looking back onto the material. “Didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” 

“Ate breakfast, we talked a bit. Told them to not be dumbasses and to call me, when shit comes up.” 

Tony’s fingers were a little cold, when they touched his back and ran over his muscles and some faint remaining scars. Loki sighed more and his hands slung around to the front. Loki laid his hands upon Tony’s and pressed them onto his stomach. 

“I think I’m going crazy”, Loki breathed. 

“Why this time?” 

“I want to be pregnant again.” 

“Lokes…” 

“Not right now, goodness, darling, I am on call.” 

Tony sighed a little. “Is one kid not enough?” 

Loki felt burned and he put his head down. “Course, sorry.” He lifted Tony’s hands away and put the vest over his undershirt, he’d put on a moment before that. 

“Lokes, I’m not saying never, I’m just saying now would be a bad time.” 

“Yeah, HYDRA takedown. And then the HYDRA fallout surely, finding the Sceptre, dealing with that. At least we got one. And I still got Sleipnir.” 

Tony sighed behind him and Loki made the vest close tightly around his body, before putting on the rest of his armour. 

“After Thanos, right? Then we have time. With our luck, that’s next week.” 

“Could be years.” 

“Exactly. Could be. Everything could be.” 

“You said you’d go to space. When the council is better with you. And they have become. Don’t you think Fury’s trying to speed it along a little? I don’t want you pregnant in space.” 

Loki sighed, as he turned around, fastening his belt. “I wouldn’t do that to you. I want to get pregnant again, but I wouldn’t go to space. I’d stay right here.” 

“What if Odin calls you, what if Thanos comes?” 

Loki shrugged. “Until I have the next future dream, I won’t be able to tell how much time I possibly have. I can only live in the now, as can you.” 

“I don’t want to lose you. And I don’t want anyone to take our kid. Even one that is not planned yet.” 

“Do you want kids, Tony?” Tony looked up to him. “In the near future, I mean.” 

“What’s the near future?” 

“Before Runa turns three.” 

“Born or conceived?” 

“Conceived.” 

Tony looks for a moment, like he’s calculating all the different outcomes his answer might have. Then he nods. “Yeah. I can work with that.” 

Loki closed the distance between them and pressed his lips upon Tony’s. “Thank you.” Tony smiled weakly and Loki laughed a little. “You think you just signed a deal with the devil?” 

“No. I think I just signed up for a big, loving family.” 

“If you have limits on how big…” 

Tony laughed. “Oh, god, you’re planning to make a whole nation with our family, do you?” 

Loki’s heart swelled a little and Tony stared at him, before bursting another laugh and kissing Loki shortly after. “We’ll see, won’t we? If I have to build a real fucking castle to accommodate all our kids…” 

“I love you.” 

Tony looked at him and a sweet smile came upon his face. “I know. I love you too. Thought I misheard you before.” 

“I love you.” 

Tony pulled him down for a long kiss. “And I you. Eternally.” 

“Eternally.” Loki pressed their heads together. They stood like that for a while, breathing each other’s air, feeling each other’s love. 

They both didn’t want to move, and Loki groaned a little, when he heard a ‘Loki, get out here, we need you’ and a road got into view. 

“Oh, these fucking dumbasses.” Loki pressed their lips together and gave Tony a small smile. “That’s what I get, for reminding them of our wonderful tech-magic combination.” 

“Take care and good luck.” 

“You too. Make sure everything here is on alert, though, maybe get Rhodey home… I don’t know.” 

“Get out there, sweetheart.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, that’s what they have vests for.” 

Tony grinned and they stepped apart, before Loki teleported away. 

“What?”, Loki asked Nat irritated, before sidestepping a car. Then he followed the woman’s view. “Norns”, he breathed. An armoured vehicle, four soldiers and a man that looked very much like the man in the photo Hill had showed him, were on the road before them. 

“Took your damn time.” Loki pulled Nat near and out of the shot of the soldier. 

“Anything you want me to do? Specifically?” 

“Get the fucking people out of here!”, Sam shouted at him. 

“If any of you fucking die…” 

“And if you see any S.H.I.E.L.D., fucking run. Don’t let them catch you”, Nat told him. 

Loki looked around. “Where the fuck is Steve?” 

“Flew down there, somewhere.” Sam pointed behind himself. “There was a crash, too.” 

“Alright, I’ll be down there, can you take care of…” 

“Just move!”, Nat shouted, and Loki teleported onto Sam’s side before looking over the edge and teleporting again. 

Things were exploding behind him, but he had his commands, as he jumped over to the bus that had crashed and teleported people back and forth toward a safe place around a block, he’d seen only for a moment. 

“How the fuck did shit go this side-ways with a box of laser pointers?”, Loki asked Steve. 

“Just get the people out of here, Lo, heal them, whatever, get them safe.” 

“You and Sam _are_ alike.” 

“Lo!” 

“Not the time, sorry.” 

Loki saw Nat running in the distance and cleared the people in the path, it seemed like the aggressors didn’t even notice, or care, for that matter. 

“Alright, alright”, Loki said, looking at the people, who were looking around a bit confused and he peeked around the corner, where gunfire was still happening. “I know you don’t know me, and trust is very low, right now, but there are a few people here, that need to go to the hospital, does anybody know where the nearest hospital is?” 

A woman raised her hand. “Aren’t you Loki, or Snowflake, that new Avenger?” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Yes, but really not the time.” 

“I might know a place”, an older guard with a white moustache told him. 

“Can you think of it, so I can see the place in your mind, with, umm, your permission of course.” 

“Sure, go right ahead.” He took his cap off and Loki pressed his hand against his forehead for a moment, a hospital getting in view. 

“Thank you. I will check the location and be back in just a moment.” The guard adjusted his cap and Loki teleported away, walking into the hospital. “Hello. My name is Loki. I will be teleporting a few handful injured people here; would that be alright?” 

“From where?” The slightly confused lady at the counter asked. 

“Is this still…” Loki just checked his location on his phone and sighed thankful for a moment. “It’s still, D.C., good, I’m actually not really sure, there was a bus crash… The people might be able to tell you more. Also, could the expenses be covered by this account?” Loki handed over a card and the woman checks it, before nodding and taking down the information. 

“Bring them in then. People, we got a bus crash from somewhere in D.C. coming in, places!” 

Loki teleported out, nodded toward the guard and then knelt next to the most injured. “May I carry you?” 

The little boy winced, but nodded and Loki gave him a weak smile, and gathered him in his arms, teleporting him to the hospital. After another patient, the people started making lines and helping with the injured, that Loki quickly carried away, as well as the families and the people that just wanted to be away from all the danger, no matter where in D.C. they might end up. 

Loki even brought some home, before returning to the place he had left, the old guard being the only one remaining. 

“May I take you somewhere, Sir?” 

“I am fine, being right where I am.” 

“Surely there is a safer place than this.” 

“Well, I was supposed to go back to work ten minutes ago…” 

“May I bring you there?” 

“Thank you, Son. The Smithsonian please.” 

Loki teleported him away, before nodding at the man. “Good luck.” 

“To you as well, Son, the road might not be as rocky as it appears.” 

“I hope not, but either way, we all travel it.” 

The guard smiled a little and Loki teleported away, checking the streets for injured once more and getting them to the hospital, before seeing Steve, Nat and Sam on their knees in the distance, surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. 

“Shit”, Loki cursed and teleported away. Not to the tower, he couldn’t do that right now, he was too strung up. 

Fury just blinked at him, when he appeared beside the bed. “Fuck”, Loki whispered. 

“What is it?” 

“I think S.T.R.I.K.E. got Rogers, Romanoff and Wilson.” 

“Who?” 

“Friend of mine, Ex Air Force, still don’t know how Stevie knows him.” He slapped his hand in front of his mouth and cursed again. “Shit.” Had it been the guard calling him son, or had he fallen before that? Loki really didn’t know. But he knew now, and Fury saw it too. “This can’t be… Not right now, I haven’t since Stark and I… Why now?” 

“Do you wanna play chess or something?” 

“To make you lose again? Fuck. Just ignore this, please. Where’s Hill anyway?” 

“Getting Rogers and Romanoff out of trouble. I’m sure, she’ll get your friend as well.” 

“You better hope so.” 

Loki conjured the chess board and placed the pieces, letting Fury start. He moved quickly, precise, while Fury pondered over his every move. He already knew the board in and out. Any game Fury could try and teach him, Loki probably knew as well. This was just thinking, this he had something to concentrate on, with this he could keep his mind off… 

“They’re here”, the doctor said, and Loki got up quickly, following him to the gate. 

Hill was speaking about Nat’s condition, she had been shot, but Loki ignored all that. Hill made a move to take them to Fury before anything else and Sam looked at him strangely, as his breathing quickened. Nat and Steve had not asked him yet, what he was doing here, but he knew that wouldn’t last. He placed himself beside Sam and quietly wrapped his hand around the man’s wrist, as they walked back to Fury. He let himself sink. 

“You okay?”, Loki asked the pilot. 

“Yeah, got away without getting shot. You?” 

Loki rubbed his thumb on the outside of Sam’s arm and the man looked to him. “I’ll be fine in a few hours…” 

“You’re younger”, he whispered, and Loki nodded quickly. 

“It’ll be alright, I don’t need an outlet…” 

“And Clint’s not here.” 

Loki felt tears stinging his eyes and a pain in his chest, quickly his eyes fell to the ground and his grip got a little tighter. Hill opened the room and Fury smirked at the group. 

“About damn time.” 

They listed all that had happened to him and Steve thought for a moment, that Loki had saved the man. 

“Oh, hell no, we got the kid here later, mostly because fuck HYDRA, they might want to take Loki away and out, and as long as he’s not in the tower, he’s good.” 

When the doctor was done with Nat’s shoulder, Loki eased the pain from her a little. She eyed him for a moment, and he looked to the ground again. 

“Steve, why don’t you take a walk with Loki for a moment, while we all rest? And then we can come up with a game plan.” 

Steve looked a bit surprised at Nat’s comment and then his view switched to Loki and he realised. “Oh, yeah, yeah, come on, Lo, let’s uhh…” 

“Don’t go too far, lovebirds”, Fury commented, and Loki looked at him strangely. 

“Gross. Sorry, Stevie.” Loki flushed in embarrassment and quickly left the room, Steve shortly behind him, grabbing his arm and pulling him into a hug around the corner, before sliding them to the ground. 

“Hey, listen to me, Lo, you’re alright, you’re safe, you can let go.” 

Loki grabbed Steve’s shirt and pressed his head into it, trying to calm his breathing. When he looked up, the man didn’t seem alright. Sam seemed fine, Nat as well, but something about Steve… 

“What happened?”, he quietly asked. 

“Hey, this is about you, not me.” 

“I’m asking as a friend”, Loki said, letting his figure slip into something smaller, his clothes falling loose around him. He leaned against Steve. 

“Bucky’s alive.” 

Loki frowned. “Bucky as in, your friend from the 40’s, Bucky?” 

“Bucky as in my best mate Bucky. He’s the Winter Soldier.” Steve nodded. 

“How?” 

“HYDRA did tests on him back then… Guess they succeeded. He didn’t recognise me. I think he recognised the name though, for a second.” 

“But he wouldn’t…” 

“Join HYDRA? Course not. Not in a million years.” 

“Brainwashing”, Loki said quickly. 

“Could be.” 

“Must be…” Loki nodded a little. 

“Can you knock him out of it?” 

“Brainwashing and mind-control are vastly different. Mind-control, someone takes hold of your brain and uses it. Brainwashing, the brain is taken out and replaced. Not literally but locked away. Only the most minimal things will get through. Tony said, the Winter Soldier was like a machine. Someone’s playing puppeteer with your friend, Steve. He can’t be knocked out; he can’t be forced out.” 

“Then, what do we do?” 

“I’m sure he still has the kill order out on you. I’d say we get him there and make him think he killed you. And then we make sure, that his handlers are taken care of, so he has nobody to run back to, nobody to get new orders from. I’ll ease the brainwashing, see if they could really destroy all he once was and pull what is left to the surface.” 

“Can you destroy anything left?” 

“Of who he has become? I could, but that would only confuse him. I don’t think it fair. If he can’t live with it, he may request it removed. But if you tell me to pick around in his brain, he becomes _my_ patient and you will have no control over what I do for him.” 

“So, this is a take it or leave it, kind of thing?” 

“I do not hurt my patients, Steve.” 

“And where will you be?” 

“Wherever he takes me.” 

“Takes you? How will you…” 

“Trust me. I’ll find a form in which he might want me to stay at his side.” 

Steve blushed and Loki rolled his eyes. “What will Stark think?”, he whispered. 

“I was not talking about a humanoid form. Did he like pets?” 

Steve nodded. “Couldn’t get one though, too expensive and we wouldn’t want to risk me being allergic.” 

Loki chuckled a bit. “I’ll figure it out.” Loki leant back against Steve’s chest and hummed a little, as the other let a hand run down his back. 

“We have to stop the launch”, Nat said. 

“Stark’s already taking care of it”, Fury answered, nodding to Loki, “He got his leash and he’ll hold them down, if he needs to.” 

“Why did you even let it get this far?”, Steve asked, “You knew HYDRA was inside S.H.I.E.L.D., and you just let them run with it.” 

Fury looked to Loki. “We needed someone to be able to be here, if shit went down. Someone, that could take out people with a single touch and get our agents out safe.” 

“You let it get out of control. If you give me this mission, it’s going according to _my_ plan.” 

Loki stood up quickly, grabbing Steve by the arm. “And you’ll drive S.H.I.E.L.D. into the ground?” 

“If I have to. It’s infested.” 

“And the bad agents, the ones that somehow escape our grasp, because we don’t know for sure and we can’t put everyone away, where will they go? Which agency will they infect next? This is S.H.I.E.L.D.’s problem and its to deal with. Do you want to lose your job so badly?” 

“I can still just be an Avenger.” 

Loki pressed his hand against his forehead, before running it through his hair. “Steve, the _Avengers_ are a department of _S.H.I.E.L.D._ , I’m sure Stark would take care of the expenses, but we already talked about it. I know two people in the room weren’t there, and two others were having a huge hangover, but _we talked about this_ . If you take S.H.I.E.L.D. down, I will not let Stark make the bad decision to take over the team and finance it. I know sometimes you think you don’t need to respect your elders, mostly because officially, you’re the eldest, at least H uman, but respect your fucking elders. If you crash S.H.I.E.L.D. into the Potomac, you’ll crash the Avengers there too. I won’t be _safe_ anymore and will be forced to go back to Asgard, you think Thor would be more welcome? Look at what this all would mean.” 

Steve paled. “Shit”, he whispered. Obviously at the same time realising, he’d split Tony and Loki and making the latter go to a place he never wanted to return to. 

“Language”, Loki breathed. 

“We still got to do something, even if it’s rash”, Nat said. 

“Take over the Triskelion?”, Hill offered, “We should go there anyway, Pierce is inviting the World Security Council over for the launch.” 

“And if anybody spots Bucky, you inform me, if I can at least make that plan”, Steve said. 

“Whatever you wanna do with your lost buddy, you can do”, Fury answered him. 

Steve nodded to Loki, who nodded back. “Where will I be?” 

“You could shadow Romanoff”, Hill offered. 

Loki nodded. “And if it’s not too forward, I’d invite over Iron Man and War Machine to contain the HYDRA soldiers.” 

“Up to Romanoff”, Fury answered, and she shrugged. 

“What else does Tony have?”, Nat asked. 

“Everything on HYDRA and a kill-switch to drop it on the net.” 

“Nice. We can work with that.” 

“I’m gonna love finally seeing the two husbands in action”, Sam added. 

Loki frowned at him and Sam pointed to his hand that had been on Steve’s arm just a few moments ago. “I can’t be the _one person_ in the world to realise those are Iron Man’s colours, right?” 

Loki chuckled a little. “I should hide it then.” 

“Tony won’t mind”, Nat said, and Loki nodded for a moment, before smiling to himself. 

“Alright, let’s get this party started.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My favourite line is the one with the laser pointers. :grin:
> 
> Also, Cameo!


	14. The Takeover

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part 3 of 3 of the "Captain America: Winter Soldier" changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a couple of changes around half an hour before uploading, so if something stands out as weird, pleas tell me directly, if it comes in the first five hours I can fix it before my mini-vacation.
> 
> The next chapter will be a bit later, because I'll get back in the afternoon, hopefully not too exhausted. Shouldn't vacation will be relaxing? :thinking: Well, I'll probably be up for a while. Oh Norns, I don't regret this.

“Attention all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, this is Steve Rogers”, it sounded from the intercom, when Nat in disguise and an invisible Loki were standing in front of a countdown of the launch-sequence they knew was going to fail. “You’ve heard a lot about me the last few days. Some of you were even ordered to hunt me down. But I think it’s time you know the truth. S.H.I.E.L.D. is not what we thought it was. It’s been taken over by HYDRA. Alexander Pierce is their leader.” 

At that the World Security Council stared at Pierce. So easy to turn around and betray who you associate yourself with, isn’t it? “The S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight crew are HYDRA as well.” Loki didn’t need to listen more. Pierce was taking his phone out and Loki stopped in front of him, taking it out of his grasp and destroying it, as he let himself be shown. Then he quickly moved to the door and secured it with a spell. 

“I hope you understand, dear council.” He pointed to the arriving agents and gave them a short wave through the glass door, they wouldn’t be able to get through. “That is part of the S.T.R.I.K.E. crew, or can I just refer to them as HYDRA now? I bet at least one of those guys pinned me down and raped me.” 

“Loki?”, one of the people asked. Loki thought his last name was Rockwell. 

“Yes. So very sorry.” 

Nat pulled a gun on Pierce and let her disguise fall. “Sorry, Director, guess this is a takeover.” 

“May I?”, Loki asked and stepped near Nat, pointing at her pin. Pierce smirked. 

“Those were armed the minute you put them on.” 

“Sad I destroyed the switch though, don’t’cha think? Gentlemen, if you’d all remove your jackets. I am sure, Director Pierce has more than one ace up his sleeve.” The councilmembers did what they were told, and Nat nodded to Loki, who removed her jacket as well, making Nat switch the gun to her other hand in between. “Not a big fan of all of yours by the way, but we’ll get over that, just my personal opinion, now that we finally meet face to face”, Loki told the men, before shoving the jackets into one corner of the room. 

“Shall we call _our_ big guns?”, Nat asked, and Loki took out his phone. 

**[To** **Tony** **]** **Lokes** **:** ‘It’s go time.’ 

Not thirty seconds later, two armours were landing on the helicopter landing platform and Iron Man and War Machine took out the S.T.R.I.K.E. crew. 

Loki let them in, and Tony grinned at him, after lifting his faceplate. “You know, Lo, I would have texted ‘Hell yeah’, but J.A.R.V.I.S. won’t let me text and fly.” 

“Glad you could make it.” 

“Can I drop the shit then? Nice dress, Nat.” 

“Hey Tony. Go right ahead.” 

Tony plugged a USB drive into the computer. “You know, Director, you really shouldn’t have left such a stain on Loki’s mind. Your system is very easy to trick by a shapeshifter. Or well, not _your_ system anymore. Because you’re HYDRA and HYDRA is bad, even my dad said so, guys, I’m still waiting on the formal apology for trying to make New York a wasteland, but I’m willing to overlook it at the moment, seeing as we have bigger problems at the moment. Oh, I got a present for the two crews. Hope Steve likes that one.” 

“What is he doing?”, one of the members asked. 

“Oh, just dropping all of HYDRA’s secrets on the internet”, Nat said. 

“I could have done it remotely, as I already have everything, but this is much more fun. Lokes, come over and look at this.” Loki quickly walked next to Tony, peeking over his shoulder. Sharon. 

“Well, well, well. Could have told you about that.” 

“You could? Well, now, look when I do this.” Tony pressed a button and suddenly every S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight agent in the room was wrapped in metal around their legs and upper arms. 

“I’ll go and disarm them?” 

“Yeah, go.” Tony grinned at him and Loki teleported into the launch room. 

“I’m terribly sorry, but I’ll umm… remove those pesky weapons now. And sorry, but I must ask you all to come in for questioning. Taking _over_ S.H.I.E.L.D. and taking _down_ S.H.I.E.L.D. are two vastly different things, one includes most of you not losing your jobs.” Loki transformed all the weapons in the room into flowers. “There, much nicer. If you’d follow me now, we can get this over with and umm, arrest the bastards and never let them see the light of day again.” Loki clapped his hand twice, excited. “Follow the weird alien Avenger.” 

Sharon nodded, even before over the intercom sounded: “Hello guys, Tony Stark here, sorry, Steve, it’s my show now, you got some arresting to do. If you see any of the other Avengers, please umm, do what they tell you, especially our little Snowflake, he’s with our little clean-up crew. I know this shit can happen to anyone, and if you still want to quit, umm, I don’t know the ins and outs of S.H.I.E.L.D. that well, but you probably can.” 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Well, people, shall we go? Otherwise I would have to secure this room and check everyone myself and that would take _much_ longer and is _much_ more uncomfortable.” 

He led them all around the Triskelion to the big main area where there were at least a dozen lines of agents aligned, that would take a truth-stone into one hand and answer if they are S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA and after that get a stamp with an ‘A’ or an ‘F’, like in the school system. The ‘F’s, HYDRA would get arrested, whereas the ‘A’s, S.H.I.E.L.D., would be able to leave and go home. 

Catching runaway agents with Tony or Rhodey was fun. Most times, he just built a bouncy wall they ran against and he let the guys do the rest. 

“This almost doesn’t feel like work”, he said one time, before having to turn a couple guns into flowers once more. “Don’t worry, Boss”, he told Rhodey, “I’m turning them back after all of this. It’s just an illusion spell.” 

“Meaning they could still technically use them?”, Tony asked in his ear and Loki shrugged. 

“If they’d find the trigger and most people can’t see past their eyes.” Loki rammed another wall down and opened his arms. “I find this way too easy.” 

“Don’t slack off”, Rhodey told him and Loki sent him a small smile. 

“I just have to wait for one thing.” 

“What?” 

“The Winter Soldier.” 

“Loki”, Tony said in a warning tone. 

“Dude, I am not killing myself, I was part of making the plan.” And then he added, a bit more silently, so no agents could overhear him: “You know I’d never do that to you again, dear.” 

“Be safe.” 

“I am always safe”, Loki said with a grin, waving at Sam, who quickly waved back and gave him a thumbs-up. 

“Steve, I spot the Winter Soldier”, Hill told them over the comm. 

“Where?”, Steve asked her. 

“South side.” 

Loki teleported to Hill and looked on the screen. 

“I have no idea, where the south side is supposed to be, I see sun…” 

“I’ll get you there. This is Rogers’ and my show, so listen to his commands, if he’s not freaking out over the comm, it’s not important. Everyone remembers I’m a diva, right?”, Loki asked. 

“Yeah, Loki, we remember”, Nat answered, and Loki could practically see her eyeroll. He nodded to Hill. 

“Nice working with you on this one.” Then he teleported to Steve. “Good to go?” 

“A bit nervous.” 

“Just get the shield up, I put you two in a secure bubble and hope he can’t tell.” 

“And then you take him out.” 

“Unconscious, yes.” Loki took Steve’s arm and put them around the corner, before pointing to that and turning invisible. 

Steve nodded for a moment and then took a deep breath, before jogging around the corner. He frowned a little, when the Winter Soldier showed no reaction, but just put his gun up and started firing. Steve moved fast, unhanding him, but being pinned as quickly, after he had pushed the gun away with his foot. The fight was brutal, but Loki could still hear Steve’s heart beating steady, well, as steady as it would in a fight. He had put down the barrier and when Steve tried speaking to the Winter Soldier, he stepped close, focusing on the stripe of skin on his revealed neck. 

He grabbed onto it and the man tried to shake him off. It was like riding a bull. Loki was forcing his way, more than he wanted, because he needed to take him down. He caught a glimpse of the soldier’s memories. People in white coats, doctors working on him. Pierce stepping in front of him, something about the goal of HYDRA, handing him a file, a picture of Steve in his Captain America suit with the shield. It was an assignment. There was something about the bad people getting to him, so he needed a new start. When Loki landed with the soldier unconscious under him, he was almost sympathetic. 

“He’s been wiped”, he told Steve, “He doesn’t even remember attacking you on the highway.” 

“ _No_.” Steve’s face was in pain and he looked down onto the man. 

“I cannot give him new memories, that would only make him question more and it is quite a difficult task to master.” 

Loki flipped the soldier. Unconscious, his face relaxed and he could see a little bit of the friend Steve saw in him. Softly he pushed his hair back and took a deep dive into the man’s memories, pulling forth the ones that were already trying to breach the wall. 

“This is a risk, but I suggest letting this play out now.” 

“What did you do?” 

“I gave his thoughts a bit of breathing room. He might start remembering you now. He won’t forget, what he has been tasked with, but it should be against his own beliefs. I won’t let you die, Steve, even if he tries to kill you. But I won’t interfere at the moment, and there won’t be a shield to protect anyone else. We let him do, what he needs to do, if he needs to kill you, we let it appear like he did, and if he needs to walk, we let him walk.” 

“And you go after him.” 

“Yes. Team?” Loki pressed onto his comm. 

“Is it over?”, Tony asked. 

“No. It might just be beginning. And I might need to go deep cover. We’ll see in a couple of minutes; the spell won’t last as long with a super soldier.” 

“Don’t do anything stupid”, Rhodey told him. 

“Maybe Nat can work out a good excuse why I might not be on a few missions, though, I do suggest that Tony’s excuse for the ones he missed, would be, that he’s still _just_ a consultant.” 

“You have the best ideas, Lokes.” 

Loki chuckled a little and Steve smiled at him. “Over and out.” He looked to Steve. “I suggest you try to help him, that’s what you’d do right?” 

Steve nodded. “Good luck.” 

“To you as well”, Loki answered, before becoming invisible once more. 

The soldier waking up went as good as expected, he started punching Steve once more, but when he was barely conscious and had long stopped fighting back, he stood back and moved backwards, before turning and walking away. Loki watched Steve for a moment, before following the soldier. The soldier didn’t have a name for himself, not yet, so Loki did not plan on calling him so, even if only in his mind. 

Loki knew Bucky was important to Steve, but he saw more than just Bucky in there. There was a person somewhere in there, but he was not Bucky. That could lead to a multiple personality disorder, Loki hoped it would not. The soldier was fast, precise in his movements, he avoided open streets, he had destination, he wasn’t just moving around to move around. 

For a moment, Loki thought not to have broken away the soldier’s control, but when the soldier killed the HYDRA scientists, only leaving the one alive, that pleaded for his family, he knew, this soldier wasn’t HYDRA anymore. The soldier moved again after that, without a destination this time. He stole clothes and food, before taking residence in a run-down apartment. This was it, now Loki would have to do it. 

He didn’t particularly like being an animal, but this time, at least, he could choose which animal to represent. He chose a cat. A very small cat. He was shivering in the cold rain, meowing in front of the closed door of the apartment building, that would be demolished in a few weeks’ time. Super soldiers had super hearing, that he knew from Steve’s file. He hoped, the soldier had gotten that as well, as the cold, in this form, was really bothering him. His meow slowly got weak and he thought about returning the next day, when the door finally opened. Loki didn’t hesitate and strolled inside, without giving the soldier so much as a once-over. 

“Umm, kitty-cat? I don’t have any food for ya.” 

_‘I know it_ **_looks_ ** _like I can’t survive without food for weeks, but the only thing I can’t survive right now, is being this wet.’_ Loki went back to the soldier and rolled his body against the man’s pant-legs and purring as loudly as his weak lungs let him. 

“Alright, umm, just make yourself at home then, I’ll get you some water… to drink.” 

Loki purred again. Success. The soldier didn’t just get him that though, he also found a relatively clean towel and cleaned Loki off, making the feline genuinely wanting to stay near the other. He liked animals. Loki had thought right. This man had a good heart. Maybe he was a bit unstable, and maybe he doesn’t know who he is supposed to be, but this man he could work with. 

The soldier had a hard time falling asleep and Loki curled on his chest and purred, making the man relax under him. 

_‘Everything is alright, we’ll get through this.’_

The soldier slowly fell asleep under him, only to shoot awake multiple times, finally setting his flesh hand on Loki’s vibrating body and falling into deep sleep. He couldn’t risk moving, so he performed the spell from where he was sitting, letting through memories in the man’s mind. It was more complicated, because the Seiðr had to move further, but it worked. After a while he stopped and let himself fall asleep to the man’s heartbeat. 

Loki knew better than _not_ to expect his husband to call him from within the dreamworld. He purred at him and settled in his lap. 

“Lokes?” 

“Yes, dear?” 

“Oh, thank god.” 

“Did you miss me this badly?” 

Tony let a hand run down the feline body. “A bit. So, you’re with the Winter Soldier?” 

“He likes cats, it seems.” 

“Steve said something about brainwashing?” 

“Yes. I am breaking down the walls. It appears it took them quite some time to break him.” 

“Like twenty years?”, Tony answered a bit jokingly. Loki let his eyes fall closed. 

“I am tired.” 

“Is your Seiðr okay?” 

“It will be fine. I just feel a little weak. I was invisible most of the day.” 

“Don’t overdo it.” 

“I won’t. But I might not always answer your call, love.” 

“Stay safe.” 

“I miss you already.” 

“Miss you too, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a system of putting '+' for S.H.I.E.L.D. and '-' for HYDRA, but that could be easily changed. Then I had put 'S' and 'H', but I have a very weird relationship with "'S's", so the American school system it was, hopefully it's not too confusing and a bit understandable.
> 
> Also, Lokitty, who'd have thought? I had that last part written up since long before I finished Act 2, as I had most of the next chapter, must have been, before I wrote the remembrance event. I had a lot of changing to do and I hope both chapters fit. I'm only a... tiny... bit scared.


	15. Kitty-Cat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lokitty is spending some time with... :checks: the soldier (James Buchanan Barnes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was having some time-issues, I might still have some time issues... Most of this chapter was pre-written, with the time difference being a couple months, but that felt like t long and I had it cut down to a week, which in turn felt too short, so... Time-issues will hopefully resolved by the next chapter, that I still have to go over.
> 
> I feel like Act 3 is slowly coming to an end. I should probably begin to tell you, that after this will come at least two works (not done yet, even I can't write that fast and come up with something good and mostly logical).

It took a week of working on the soldier, before the man went out for more than getting food. Loki had somehow always made sure the man would take him with, mostly because he was afraid, he’d get abandoned by him. Loki went weaker each day, and Tony grew worried after a few days already, when he told him, that Steve wanted to know where he was and Loki just told him that they needed time, that not everything could work on an accelerated schedule. 

He gave a weak meow, when the soldier woke him that morning, the man’s eyes grew clearer each time he woke and slowly became a beautiful blue colour again, while Loki’s eyes grew to lose their colour in his place. 

“Hey, kitty-cat, I gotta go out, get something to eat, figure out some things. But I’ll come back, kay?” 

Loki leaned into the man’s hand. _‘Don’t leave me behind, please.’_ His small feline body was only slightly bigger than the soldier’s hand. He sighed and picked Loki up. 

“You little rascal. You want to come with, right?” Loki meowed again, a bit more excited, though he was pretty exhausted. “Alright then, kitty-cat. But you got ta stay quiet. I don’t think cats are allowed there, even ones as cute as you.” Loki snuggled against his caressing hands und the soldier opened the stolen jacket. Quickly Loki climbed inside. “I swear, I washed myself this morning.” 

In his humanoid form, Loki would laugh, but like this, he just pressed closer. _‘I’ll live, big guy, let’s go.’_ Loki was excited to be carried around, to figure out where they were going and felt only slightly embarrassed, when he realised, that he’d fallen asleep. The soldier was warm and comfortable, his breath was steady, and it was only when his heartbeat changed, Loki had woken. When he peeked out of the jacket, he hesitated for a second. A younger version of the man was in front of him, on a glass. Before he could read, Bucky had pushed him back inside the jacket. 

“Not now, kitty-cat”, he breathed. His heart was beating fast. Maybe this was good. Maybe it would mean he’d trust his memories now. The soldier moved, his breath hitching. When he finally sat down, he calmed a little, letting Loki out and running his hand down his back. “Hey kitty-cat.” 

With a worried look Loki peered into the soldier’s eyes, that had tears forming in them. Then he pulled out something from his bag. A smaller bag with a cat on it. Shaking, the man held out a handful of treats for him. For a moment, Loki hesitated, worried he couldn’t digest them, but then he decided to try them anyway, even if only to make the soldier feel better. Loki sat down in the man’s lap and let him pet him. The treats were actually quite good. He purred up at him and the soldier sobbed a little, quickly wiping away his tears with his flesh arm, while his heavier one remained on Loki’s back, covered in a glove and long sleeves. 

“I was worried, kitty-cat. I was worried someone was messing with my mind again, they did that so often, kitty-cat.” Loki purred and pushed himself into Bucky’s shirt. “But he’s real, kitty-cat. And I’m real. I have a name. It said, we were friends, kitty-cat. We were so close, almost like family. I had to know, right? If they were messing with my head again. You understand, kitty-cat?” Loki meowed up at him. He understood perfectly. 

The soldier stopped petting him, when his arm made the bad sound again, that it had been making for half a week now. “I need to find a mechanic, if it gets any worse.” 

_‘Well, I know one, but I can’t tell you.’_

“I heard Steve is on this team, and there was someone that worked with metal before. I think Steve knew his father. Crazy inventor. But he might be nice.” 

James stroked the kitten’s back, while watching the two men fight. Anthony Edward Stark and Steven Grant Rogers. He had gone to New York for the former, while the other apparently had been looking for him. 

“How did you find him, Stark? How? I’ve, _we’ve_ , been looking for him for weeks!” 

“Calm down, Cap, I didn’t even really know who he was, ‘til he came here, cause you ain’t telling me shit! Fury was attacked, the whole S.H.I.E.L.D. thing happened and since then none of you take my calls, just call when you want, my husband’s gone, I haven’t even seen him in our secret place as of two weeks ago. The only thing I could do, was holding onto Bruce and Rhodey. Clint’s fucking pissed, did you even call him yet, did Nat or your new friend?” 

James stared between the two. Rogers had obviously trust-issues, while Stark seemed more self-conscious. For Rogers to go after Stark’s throat in an instant, in Stark’s own home, James did not see in him the man he had read about. He instantly wanted to protect Stark, who looked actually scared, ever since Rogers burst through the door and left a dent in the wall. He knew he shouldn’t move, he just stroked the kitten more, till it purred. 

“Where’s Loki?”, Rogers asked. 

“Really?” Stark started kneading his hands. 

“Yes. I don’t trust you until you get Loki here.” 

“It was your fucking plan, you sent him away, and you want to go off on him too?” 

Stark was sweating and James stood up, capturing Rogers’ attention. He put the kitten in Stark’s hands. 

“He will calm you, Mister Stark.” 

Relief fell off Stark’s face and he gave James a grateful smile, while he played with the kitten. “Thank you, Sergeant Barnes.” 

“His name is Bucky.” 

Stark put a hand on James’ shoulder and smiled at him, before giving Rogers’ a murderous look. “He told me his name is Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, he feels comfortable with James or Barnes, not Bucky.” 

“But… Bucky, come on!” 

“It’s James”, James shakily answered. “Please leave, Captain Rogers, I do not need you, I requested Mister Stark’s help.” 

“Come on, Stark, he’s an assassin.” 

Stark looked confused between Rogers and James. “So, on the one hand he’s ‘Bucky’ but on the other he’s an assassin? I know we got assassins on the team, but what kinda friends did you make in the war?” 

“He’s HYDRA.” 

“No”, Stark quickly answered. “He _was controlled by_ HYDRA, that’s a difference. You know that’s a difference. Barton, Loki, we both know how it is.” 

“For seventy years?” 

“Fifty.” 

“What?”, Rogers asked confused. 

“He did jobs for them for fifty years. I got the documents.” 

James face went pale and he was confused when Stark smiled at him. “I killed your parents”, James softly said. 

Stark’s smile didn’t falter. It seemed he was frozen. “Uhm…” 

“I am very sorry.” 

Slowly Stark’s smile fell, and the kitten meowed. “You… I knew it was staged, but you…” 

“The Winter Soldier, not Bucky”, Rogers wanted to push through, and Stark’s brows furrowed as he stared at Rogers. 

“You knew?” 

“I didn’t know it was _him!_ ” 

“You knew?!” 

Suddenly the kitten disappeared with a green glow and a man with black hair and dark green clothing appeared between the three men. 

“Calm down, love. No reason to start a war.” 

Stark buried his head into the man’s shoulder and clung onto him. “He knew!” 

“Not long, love, right, Captain Rogers?” 

“Since Fury died. So, Bucky’s not HYDRA?” 

“How can you even accuse him of that? He would have never joined it on his own volition. You told me that! You were so sure!” The man unclenched his hands, that had formed, when he’d started shouting, before he looked to James and gave him a gentle smile. “Hello James, I am Loki Stark. I am very sorry for deceiving you, I only meant to keep you safe and out of HYDRA’s hands.” 

“You… you were the kitten?” 

“Yes. I am a sorcerer and shapeshifter. Thank you for taking care of me, James.” 

“Did you make me come here?” 

“No. I only healed your mind. It took a while and within my feline body I could not use much magic, if you want to forget anything you did as the Winter Soldier, I can…” 

“No”, James interrupted him, “I don’t want to forget, Sir. It would be like HYDRA all over again.” 

Loki smiled again, it was weak and only now James noticed the dark circles under his eyes and the light blue lines on his arms, that seemed to be glowing. “As I thought. Captain, go to your room, I will talk to you later.” 

“You can’t talk to me like that.” 

A growl escaped the handsome man, before he let Stark go and grabbed Rogers by the collar. “You will go to your fucking room, J.A.R.V.I.S. will lock you in there and _only_ let you out to eat or go to the bathroom. You are in Tony’s house and the Starks set the rules. So, either abide by them or leave!” 

“This is the ‘Avengers’ Tower, not the ‘Stark’ Tower!” 

“And who _still_ owns the building? Who _still_ keeps the fridge stocked and whose money _still_ cleans up after you, when you run off to god-knows-where? Stark! So, you either go to your room, _Captain_ , or leave this building immediately!” 

He shoved Rogers towards the door and turned again, to hold Stark close. James could see Rogers mumble something before he left, but neither Loki nor Stark seemed to want to do anything about it. 

“He destroyed the door”, Stark then slowly said. James backed away and sat down on the side of the sofa. 

“I know, dear, I’ll repair it. Are you fine?” 

“’M okay, he just… I thought we were friends.” 

“I’m sure Steve’s just been stressed.” 

“That doesn’t excuse his behaviour though”, James stated, and the two men separated slightly to look to him. “He came into your house and throws accusations around, while he makes it out to be his home too. He has no right. He doesn’t work for you, I believe, and he is not family, right?” 

“I like you”, Stark stated, and Loki snorted. “I mean, you, while brainwashed, did some _shitty_ stuff, killed my parents, my mother, all not excusable, but you have a chance to become someone new again.” 

“Thank you, Mister Stark.” 

“Please, it’s Tony. I mean, otherwise you’ll be talking to both of us.” 

James chuckled. “So, the two of you are married?” 

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes. You got a problem with that sort of thing?” 

James blushed and his gaze went to the floor. “No, definitely not. I mean, then, I’d have to hate myself, wouldn’t I? And… it’s James for friends.” 

“You’re gay?” 

“Bi… I think… Always dated ladies as Bucky, major crush on a guy though. Steve doesn’t know, nobody did, don’t want him too, at the moment. Wasn’t something that was paraded, y’ know? Amazing how far the world’s come, could marry a man now, if I wanted, sweet.” 

“Wow.” Tony sat down beside him, Loki on his other side, their hands intertwined. “When Howard talked about Cap and the Howlies, he made it seem like they were all straight shooters, the _pinnacle of mankind_. Now, Cap’s best friend being bisexual, that’s something the history-books would love. Or hate. There’s still a lot of hate going around.” 

“Like I said…” 

“Not gonna tell anyone, trust me, James, I know the feeling, I mean the whole world thinks I’m single and straight, too, although, I never explicitly told anyone that, since I figured out, I was into one gorgeous man, that was literally out of this world. Pepper just confirmed that things were over between us, I think sometimes she still holds a grudge against me. I don’t think I can hold tight for much longer though.” 

“Out of this world?”, James questioned. 

Loki grinned. “I’m an alien, James. A Jötunn, Frost-Giant, though many people still believe me to be Æsir, Asgardian, like my brother Thor.” 

“An… an alien?”, James asked shocked. Before his eyes, Loki’s skin turned sapphire-blue and his eyes ruby-red. “Wow.” 

“Yes. Now the sorcerer makes more sense, right?” 

“A little. So, what powers do you have?” 

“Illusions, shapeshifting, teleportation, a dimensional pocket to store things, like knives, books or long-lasting food. I can look into minds or take over another body, if the person is willing and I can dream of the past, present and future. All that and that _still_ doesn’t include the variety of spells I have at my disposal that I don’t use that often.” 

“Like healing?”, Tony asked with an eye-roll. 

“Oh, yes, like healing, I am no _healer_ though, I am a _sorcerer_.” 

“Could you fix my arm?” 

“Your metal one? Or do you mean regrow your arm, James?” 

“The latter, but the first would be fine too, I guess.” 

“I cannot regrow limbs, no, but I could give your arm the illusion of being flesh. For fixing your metal arm, I’m sure Tony has been making grabbing motions in his head, ever since you stepped in front of him.” 

“Hey!”, Tony protested, before turning back to James. “Why don’t we two go down into my lab, I’ll call Doctor Bruce Banner and we’ll figure out what is going on with your arm, while Loki talks to Cap?” 

“Doctor?” 

“In Biology. Other side of the Hulk, big green guy, maybe you heard of him? Permanent resident here in the tower.” 

“And how could he help me?” 

“It’s attached to your shoulder, right? You can control your arm? That’s nerves, Jamie, I don’t _do_ nerves. I do electronics. I can fix your arm, but if the arm itself is hurting you, that’s something for Brucie.” 

“Alright. Where is your lab?” 

“Come on.” 

Tony stood up and only now James noticed that Loki had left. Swiftly he followed Tony, always leaning slightly to his side, while trying not to move the arm too much. Tony seemed to be totally fine with him being around, at least he pretended. He was a bit tense, James noticed, when they were in the elevator. 

“How long have you two been married?” 

“Officially?” 

“Yeah sure.” 

“About two years, little less.” 

“And unofficially?” 

“We were apart for little more than half a year directly after the marriage.” 

“That’s still two years.” 

“Guess so, feels more like one.” 

“Two years that you’ve hidden it from the public, congrats.” 

Tony chuckled. “Should I see that as an insult?” 

“I mean it. You’re in the public eye, Tony, hiding such a handsome man is an achievement.” 

“Well, the public doesn’t know we’re married, but they think he’s reformed and an Avenger now.” 

“Reformed?” 

“Did you know that New York got attacked two years ago?” 

“Yeah, heard something about that”, James answered as the elevator stopped with a ‘ping’ and Tony walked out. James was quickly at his side. 

“That was Loki and the army he was handed. He had been mind-controlled through the entire event, by a Titan, another alien, called Thanos. Afterwards none of the reports actually read innocent, but rather ‘mind-controlled subject’. He wasn’t a follower, he was a victim, made to look like the leader.” 

Tony opened a door and James followed him through it. “So, he’s like me?” 

“A bit. You were brainwashed, meaning everything you knew was taken away and you were given new information. I’d guess it’s like the you that Cap sees, didn’t exist. Mind-controlled is like being a passenger in your body, while you watch what the one that controls your body does, says, feels.” 

“Meaning I have absolutely no idea who I’m supposed to be. Maybe I should be Bucky.” 

“You _should_ be yourself. Bucky doesn’t have to deal with all the shit _you_ went through. You are the person that lived through all of that shit. You don’t have to lie to satisfy people. Now, Jamie, sit down.” Tony pointed to a chair and James sat down. “Let’s look at your problem.” Tony looked towards the door and shouted: “Brucie-bear, get over here, you’re gonna love this.” 

James laughed lightly. “How could anyone love this?” He took off his jacket and slowly curled his metal arm, till it crunched. 

“That does not sound good”, a sombre voice said behind him and then a sweet man with a pair of glasses stepped in front of him. “Doctor Bruce Banner.” 

James held out his flesh hand. “James Buchanan Barnes. Nice to meet you, Doc.” 

Bruce gave him a little smirk while shaking his hand, before pushing his glasses back and looked closer at the metal arm, Tony had already started peeling off the layers, while James was enthralled by the humble man in front of him. 

“This is some gorgeous piece of machinery, too bad _HYDRA_ made it and it’s hurting you.” 

“HYDRA?”, Bruce asked. 

“I only feel something on the shoulder, while I’m moving it. When it gets to a stop, it hurts like hell, but holding like this, you taking it apart, not feeling that.” 

“Good to know.” 

“HYDRA?”, Bruce asked again, “Like the guys Steve battled in the 40’s?” 

“Yeah, saw the news lately?” 

“HYDRA in S.H.I.E.L.D., right.” 

“Jamie here got captured by them in the 40’s, tortured and then basically used like an empty husk, brainwashed to be their beloved asset. He broke free while battling Cap at the Triskelion and came here, looking for my help, right?” 

“The Stark men could probably work with something futuristic and well, Cap was on T.V. with Iron Man, so. Wait, how do _you_ know all that?” 

“Loki does. And Loki kept me updated in the first week, every other day or so.” 

“But you only saw each other today. I would _know_ if the kitten went away.” 

“Saw me in his dreams, Robo-Cop, Loki and I are bonded, real cool thing about that is, we can visit each other’s dreams.” 

Slowly James nodded, before giving Bruce a smile. “So, 40’s, huh?”, Bruce asked, “You have anything to do with Steve back then?” 

“Yeah. Though I don’t like it, when he calls me ‘Bucky’ at the moment.” 

Bruce gaped, before grabbing James’ hair and pulling it all up in the bun. “No fucking way. You’re alive, too?” 

James smirked. “I’m not really ‘Bucky’ though.” 

“’Course, Steve went into the ice and just woke up, you… obviously didn’t. HYDRA got you?” 

“Yeah. Still kind of figuring out _what_ happened and _when_ that happened. Loki seems to have been helping with that.” 

“Oh, that’s good, Loki trying to help you out there. He had problems figuring stuff out like that, too, because his magic was weak, and he was more than underfed and literally knew _nothing_ of the past two years. Every time he remembered stuff from his past, whole days of the _now_ could go missing and it took hours for that to recover. When he remembered, he didn’t remember it being him, but him trying so hard to stop it.” 

“Wish I fought like him.” 

“You did”, Tony said. 

“What?” 

Surprised, James looked to Tony, his arm now being totally open, while Tony poked around inside of it. 

“You did, you _fought_. They had you for seventy years, they had to have had you, at least, but the first twenty or so, you didn’t do any jobs. And I ’d bet , that wasn’t because they didn’t have anything for you to do, no, you fought, all that time, they _couldn’t control you_ , Jamie. At least, that’s what I gathered from the reports. Every now and then there was this footnote: ‘Asset not compliant’ or so.” 

“Oh.” James didn’t know how to take that, but then he broke into a bright smile. “I fought.” 

Bruce smiled at him, too. “Not a damsel in distress, no, you, Mister Barnes are a fighter.” 

“Please. James.” 

“Yes. James. Mind taking off your shirt, would love to take a look at the scar-tissue.” 

“Wanna get me naked already, sweetheart? Thought you could come up with a less obvious way.” 

Bruce turned red and Tony chuckled loudly. Wearing a big smirk on his face, James licked his lips, before grabbing his T-Shirt with his flesh hand and lifting it over his head, before having a lot more trouble to shake it off his body, which resulted in a laughing Tony helping him out. 

“Don’t like shirts”, he decided. 

“You can walk around like this all the time, for all I care”, Tony answered back. 

“Your husband won’t mind?” 

“Oh, my husband will _love_ the view. People like Brucie or Cap will mind, because damn, that body is distracting and they’ll have to look for ladies elsewhere, because they’ll all start swooning around you.” 

James grinned. “Have to start looking for clothes that are easy to get on with one hand.” 

“Do you really want easy, or do you want good-looking? I can get you a designer, Jamie, he’ll make you specialised stuff to show off your metal arm.” 

“The _HYDRA_ arm?” 

“Alright, umm, you want it covered then?” 

“Want it gone. Don’t wanna be HYDRA no more.” 

Tony and Bruce looked a bit surprised at each other, but both seemed pretty understanding. “We can do that, too, but not right now, we gotta come up with a game-plan, you up for that? We’re gonna fix this arm first, so it works again and then we’ll see how to take it off best, alright?” 

“Yeah, yeah, like that a lot.” 

Tony grinned and Bruce kneeled at his side looking into the arm. “Turn please, James.” 

James did what he wanted and both Bruce and Tony looked at the arm in awe. “This is like a wet-dream", Tony whispered, only to frown, when it stopped turning. “I see it!”, he then shouted out and picked up a precision screwdriver, before diving into the arm. James yelped in surprise and Bruce snickered. 

“The way they put it on is shit work, by the way. They didn’t even give your arm time to heal. They didn’t care if you were hurting, probably just put you on a ton of meds and then well… did all the other shit as well.” 

“You’re cursing a lot, Brucie, what’s going on?” 

“Oh, well, you know.” 

“No, I don’t.” 

“Ross.” 

“That bastard? Man, I hate him, he’s still bothering you?” 

“I went to visit Jane and Darcy at the University and he came there, knew about it. Darcy got us out of there quick, but that man, I swear. I loved Betty, but her father, he’s just…” 

“A crap person. Man, he got a huge grudge.” 

“Want me to take him out?” Bruce and Tony stared at James, who grinned. “ _Joking_ , kids, joking. Gosh, you really thought I’d kill a man? I’m trying to go the reformed route here.” 

“Do we know for a fact he’s not HYDRA, Ross I mean?” 

“Do we know for a fact that _everyone_ is not HYDRA?”, Bruce asked back. 

“Kinda have to ask Loki that.” 

Bruce chuckled. “Runa still with Pepper and Happy?” 

“Yeah, she loves them, forgets for a moment that Mama isn’t there.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm kinda sad, how (to me) it's easy to spot, that I wrote the most of this in the middle of Act 2, because I wanted to introduce Barnes so badly.
> 
> For be personally it's very important to differentiate between Bucky, the Winter Soldier and the Person he is now.  
> Also, I had to tell a friend that yes, James Buchanan Barnes is known, but there were probably a bunch of people named after Steve's best friend, so of course, Bruce knows the name, but he didn't think it was _the_ James Buchanan "Bucky" Barnes.  
> And the "You're alive too?" is a reference to Steve... (she didn't get that, so I thought maybe some other people wouldn't either).
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that, and the POV James, it might come again.
> 
> Oh and please don't kill me for the Tony forgives James easily part, he knows that James had no choice in there and he knows how it is to see someone you love kill or hurt people you _know_ he wouldn't hurt normally. Also, he's not shown the video and it hasn't been three freakin' years since Rogers found out.
> 
> Steve will be back to normal soon, he was just really stressed, because he sent Loki on a mission, being close to someone that could easily kill him.
> 
> And The Winter Soldier probably wasn't told to target Loki (otherwise he'd be dead), so he didn't have much info on him.


	16. Magic Problems

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki's having a few small issues with having been a cat for three weeks...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Norns, I wanted to update at midnight, but now it's almost noon, sorry. Apparently waking up early and staying up late don't always work together. And then having to clean the house after Christmas is over...
> 
> I hope you all get safe into the New Year, while I'm mentally in 2014 and will probably, in the story, never reach 2020. (That means this will somehow, someday, end! Hurray?)

Loki was groaning a little, as he pressed his hand against his forehead. It felt like he was burning up, while at the same time a shiver went through his body. Long-term transformations had their downsides and he’d never tried to look into someone’s head while being an animal. He’d put on Frigga’s sleeves and tights, before laying down in the afternoon sun that came through the window of the common room. Steve was still pouting in his room and Loki had done good with locking him in. 

He had closed his eyes but could still hear the door opening. Tony’s steps he recognised the easiest, and _maybe_ it was James with him. 

“What are you doing, sweetheart?” 

“Hoping my instincts calm down a little.” 

“Instincts?”, James asked, and Loki felt a bit proud of himself, before he sat up and leaned against the glass. 

“Cat instincts. I don’t fully become a cat, but…” Loki took a deep breath and shrugged. “Staying like that for three weeks… It would have been worse if I’d stayed even longer.” 

“You mean…” James knelt down in front of him and patted Loki’s head, making him purr and press his head into the hand. James blushed a little and Loki turned red in embarrassment. 

“Oh my god, this is so cute”, Tony squeaked with excitement and grabbed Loki, pulling him into his lap, after he had sat down onto the floor. 

“It is not cute, darling. I want it to wear off. And I feel too hot and too cold…” Loki sighed and pressed his head into the comfortable looking crook of Tony’s neck. 

“Sounds like you’re sick”, Tony answered and let a hand run down Loki’s back. He tried to hold back the purr, but it escaped anyway. 

“I didn’t want ya turning sick, cause of me”, James said and Loki smiled up to him. 

“Was my own decision, James. Cats are at least quite enjoyable. Being a dog… Norns, that was a horrifyingly embarrassing experience.” 

“You howling all the time, I remember, sweetheart.” 

“You remember? I thought you were only married for two years.” 

“Oh, we shared memories last _May_ , was it, love? He can usually _try_ to recall all that I did, while I can recall all of _his_ memories. It’s just a mess to think about, so it normally falls aside.” 

“Meaning, we still ask how the other knows some stuff, even though, we could just go ahead and try to remember.” 

“Oh. But that’s different with what you’ve been doing for me, right?” 

“Yes, quite. I could see your memories, James, but I prefer not to. It’s like watching a movie, but not really concentrating on it. You know it’s there and sometimes a scene grabs your attention, but other than that… I didn’t want to intrude. And letting you see my memories would have only confused you more.” 

“Yeah, probably.” James nodded and sat down next to the couple. 

“Doesn’t that mean, you’re using more of your Seiðr?”, Tony asked. 

Loki nodded and pulled up his sleeves to show the others underneath. “I won’t use it for a while. Unless, well, you need me to, James.” 

“Why me?” 

“You’re my patient, James. I plan on breaking down every wall inside you, you are doing that by yourself as well, but it’s taking longer. And if you plan to leave again…” 

“No, umm, I’d like to stay, if you’d allow me.” 

“Sure you can”, Tony quickly said. “Just, for Loki’s sake, get yourself some kind of income, things with S.H.I.E.L.D. are a bit more complicated at the moment.” 

“I didn’t even graduate, I think.” 

“We can help with that. There are courses online, Loki can tutor you, he’s living of old money right now, has to do that too. We’re trying to convince Thor as well, but he’s too embedded in Asgard.” 

“You’d do that with me?” 

Loki smiled at James and laid his hand on the other’s metal one. “Sure. We’ll stick together through this.” 

“And once Director Hill has worked out the S.H.I.E.L.D. thing, you might get a job there, otherwise you can think of joining our research team. Maybe work on prosthetics?” 

“Because I need one?” James chuckled. 

“That would just give you extra encouragement.” 

“Thanks. That’s nice of you.” 

“And did I hear right? _Director_ Hill?” 

“Yeah, she said something about joining Stark Industries, if all would have gone bad, but only ten percent of the agents have quit yet, after the council agreed with Hill becoming the new Director.” 

“And how’s the council?” 

“Thankful to you.” 

Loki grinned a little, before curling in Tony’s arms and yawning openly. “Guess it all worked out.” 

“We still have a few thousand non-withering flowers on an empty floor.” 

“Norns”, Loki murmured. 

“You need a bed, sweetheart?” 

“I’d love that.” 

Tony tried to stand up with him and grunted. “A little help here, Jamie?” 

James lifted Loki easily and Loki purred into his neck. “Where to?” 

“Master bedroom, I think, or no, I have still not shown him the new Snowflake floor.” 

“Just somewhere with a bed”, Loki murmured, and they started moving, making Loki easily fall asleep. _‘So much better than being carried by Thor.’_

Loki yawned, when he woke up and then curled under the blanket, frowning a little, when he hit something. He peeked from the covers and looked into Tony’s eyes. 

“Hey”, the man whispered, and Loki smiled, before pulling him close and kissing him softly. 

“Hey, darling.” 

“Feeling a bit better? Your heat’s gone down a little.” 

“Yeah, a bit.” Loki climbed onto Tony’s lap and his arms fell around Tony’s neck. “I love you so much.” 

“Love you too.” 

“I missed you a bit.” 

“Just a bit?” 

“Just a tini-tiny bit”, Loki said and pressed his lips against Tony’s neck, rocking against him. 

“Oh, that is very much just a tiny bit”, Tony whispered and rocked up. 

“Though I am still a bit feline.” 

“That’s a no?” 

“Yeah”, Loki answered with a sigh. 

“Alright.” They kissed again and Tony helped him up. “You shower and I’ll get some food ready, let Steve out to play, get Bruce and James up, the two have been hanging out.” 

Loki nodded and slipped off Tony’s lap. “We _do_ need to call the team back and have a catch up.” 

“Next weekend?”, Tony asked. 

“We can do that. It’s what? The 31st?” 

“No, February 3 now.” 

“Makes sense, I’m missing days.” 

“Makes me worry more, sweetheart.” 

“I’m sorry”, Loki whispered, kissing Tony’s cheek and then moving to the bathroom. 

He sighed when the cold water fell on his naked form, before slowly turning it warmer. He could catch the almost there purr this time and pressed his head against the wall for a moment. He slowed his breathing and cursed, when rubbing along his arms. He really did have to slow back on using his Seiðr this time. Overuse could kill him, and he knew he was almost as bad as the time he had first met Sleipnir in his Æsir disguise. 

Loki put the sleeves and tights back on, before slipping into his favourite clothes, that were really soft. He yawned another time and then walked to the elevator. 

“I feel weird”, Loki announced as he walked into the room. Not only were Bruce, James, Tony and Steve there, but Happy and Pepper had joined them as well, with Runa. He hugged the two and pressed a kiss on Runa’s head. 

“How weird?”, Tony asked and lifted Runa to carry her on his arm. 

“I feel like a teenager and a cat.” 

“Do you need Clint?” 

“Nah, I’ll…” Loki sighed a little and took a beeline over to Steve, who was standing a bit to the side, avoiding Tony and James, especially Tony’s occasional glares, when Runa was looking a different way. He quickly put his arm around him. “I’ll be fine. I got Stevie.” Steve ran his hand through Loki’s hair, and he purred a little and flushed. “Darn side-effects, just ignore me, I’m a mess.” 

Steve chuckled a bit and Loki let himself fall a bit, before cursing. “Hey, Language.” 

“I can’t transform”, Loki grumbled and walked to the table to get something to eat. “Magic’s down and I can’t transform, and I hate this.” 

“Loki. You’re around a kid.” 

Loki sighed again. “I’m sorry.” 

Loki bit into the sandwich and grumbled a bit more, before rubbing at his forehead. Bruce laid a worried hand on his head and nodded. “Slight fever, I’d say, even worse for you.” 

“Sorry.” 

“Stay in bed.” 

“But I have to eat and I…” He sighed again and peeked at James. “I’m weird, sorry.” 

James smiled a little. “Fine with me, Loki. As long as you’re feeling alright.” 

“Did you explain everything to him? Because I really can’t right now.” 

“We’ll get to.” 

Loki stacked a few sandwiches on his plate. “I’m going back to bed. Come by everyone, I missed you guys a lot. And I gotta call Clint.” 

“He probably missed you, too”, Steve said, laying his hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

Loki groaned when he hit the bed again, the sandwiches did not live for long, but were quickly consumed. Then he grabbed his phone and called Clint. 

“Hey, Loki, you’re back?” 

“Well, as back as I can be. Fever, side-effects, and you know… Miss you, Dad.” 

“Miss you too, Kiddo, though you…” 

“Seiðr is low. Can’t transform, sorry if this weirds you out.” 

“It’s fine. What are you up to?” 

“I’ve eaten, cursed around Runa, purred when Stevie hugged me… And now I’m back in bed, fever.” 

“Purred?”, Clint laughed on the other line, before explaining to someone in the background: “No, it’s just Loki, he purred, when Steve hugged him.” 

“Nat or Laura?”, Loki asked, taking off his shirt and then snuggling into the bed. 

“Nat. Laura is around too, though, you wanna talk to either of them?” 

“I won’t mind. I was thinking we could all catch up next weekend. The Avengers, I mean. And maybe Sammy too, and James, if that’s okay.” 

“8th, 9th? I think Nat and I can make it. Who’s James though?” 

“Oh, the Winter Soldier, or Bucky, but not really, a mix of both. James is Bucky dealing with having been turned into the Winter Soldier.” 

“You caught him?” 

“I was with him. For around a week. As a cat, that’s why I’m purring and enjoying the sun, but also not enjoying it, because I’m Jötunn.” 

“That’s the side-effects?” 

“Yeah. And on top of that…” 

“Fever and low Seiðr.” 

“I really want cuddles, Dad, but…” Loki started sobbing and Clint shushed him a bit. 

“It’ll be alright. Should I text Steve? He can’t catch anything.” 

“I want my dad… Sorry… I’m… Sorry…” Loki cried more and more. “You don’t… And I want my Ma… Why can’t anything be easy…” 

“I can’t run away from here right now, Loki.” 

“I know! I know… I’m sorry…” 

“It’ll be alright, Kid…” 

“Love you, Dad.” Loki sniffed loudly and wiped at his face. 

“Love you too, Kiddo. Nat says to feel better.” 

“I miss her too. It’s all so hot… Dad… Please hug your kids for me, okay? They got a really good dad. I’m a little jealous.” 

Clint snickered. “Try to sleep, Kiddo and drink a lot. You better give me a hug, as soon as we arrive on Saturday. And I expect a party. We _still_ have to do a coming back party for you. We never did one last year and you were sick a lot…” 

“You should write Tony that. I’m too exhausted to do that. And I’m really not a fan of big parties right now. More cuddling.” 

“A cuddle-party. And maybe we could invite Thor and Sleipnir and your mother…” 

“I miss her.” 

“She’s a great woman, your mother. Raised two more or less fantastic children.” 

“I hope I’m the more.” 

“Course you are, Kiddo.” 

“So, you’ll be coming?” 

“Only if you tuck yourself in now and go to sleep.” 

“Yes, Daddy. Love you. And send hugs to everyone. Even Nat. She’ll live.” 

“I think she might need a good Loki hug on… I’m getting hit, help! Laura, Lila! Nat is hitting me! Save me!” 

Loki giggled loudly and the line went dead a few seconds later. He put the phone aside and curled himself on the bed. He hadn’t even taken a tour around his floor. His _floor_. He was a bit excited at just the thought of it. A whole floor just for himself. It was like Christmas all over again. He snuggled into the pillow and purred a little to himself, not ashamed at the moment and slowly but surely fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea how old Clint's kids are (except that the youngest wasn't even conceived at this point in the story), I probably have to look for something there, not getting any information is kinda troubling and I would go with my gut and say they're all 3-4 years apart, which would make Lila in the scene with the bow in Endgame, at most, thirteen and Cooper there nine, while Nathaniel is three years old at that point... At least roughly, I don't have the exact date in my head... I'm thinking way too much about people that only have minor roles in this fanfiction...
> 
> ~~And someone remind me to update this chapter, because the 'th's are normal, while they should be up...~~ Nevermind, figured it out


	17. Hugs and Cuddles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Party time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No I did not forget to update, I'm just lazy and tired, sorry...
> 
> Anyways... Happy 2020, may you all stay healthy and safe.

Loki’s purring didn’t really stop. He didn’t lean into touches as much, but he still felt the tickle of the purr in his throat. It didn’t bother him as much and everybody found it rather cute. Loki still found it weird, but it also gave him the benefit, that more people wanted to hug him. Loki put it on the instincts’ thing, that they might think Loki might need that, need the contact, but he enjoyed it for a lot of different reasons.

Even before being frozen on Svartalfheim, Loki had enjoyed the touches, it told him he was appreciated, that people did not shy away from him. Before Loki had these people around him, hugs had been sparse. His mother had hugged him, and Thor had been handsy, but even those touches were little and too short for Loki’s tastes. Here people would hold him close and tight and it felt oh so good. And they all didn’t mind, sometimes even requested it.

Loki felt happier being here, handholding with Tony and cuddling with all of his willing friends. Nat was not much a cuddler or hugger, but he still knew she liked him. And that was another thing. Loki knew they liked him. Sometimes he felt insecure and tried to convince himself otherwise, but he just needed to tell them how much they meant to him and they knew, instantly, that he was, for one, on a low and for another, in need of being told. Clint and Tony did so frequently, without being prompted, sometimes the others did so too and nowadays, Loki passed the love on to James.

He’d noticed on the second day he had stayed in the tower, that he needed cuddles as desperately as Loki did. The two quickly became closer than Rhodey and Tony, or even Loki and Thor had ever been in their best of times. James knew a lot about the internet, some things even surprised Tony and Steve scowled a little every time they talked about something. But he didn’t want to leave. He wanted to stay and stay near James, be there, if he had any questions.

James and Loki were basically connected by the hip and sometimes Loki could feel the jealousy coming off Steve. It’s like Loki had stolen his best friend. Whenever Loki could feel him staring, he shrunk a little, not in age, but he started to fear Steve, just a little. James noticed quickly though, every time he became uncomfortable and laid his heavier, colder arm around Loki, getting also a thankful smile from Tony.

Saturday Clint and Nat came, and Loki had been excited all morning. Tony was giggling beside him. He had now shrunk in earnest and was tapping with his feet. Sometimes he’d get a moment of regret, at letting himself fall. After the initial scarring at his arms had gone down, he’d allowed himself to shift again. Not transform into animals but shift into a younger form. James had enjoyed seeing that and had been asking a lot of questions. They both spent most of their time in the lab watching the two scientists work and taking care of Runa.

When Loki saw the Quinjet in the distance, he started almost jumping on the balls of feet and James came to stand behind him, placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders. “No running till they’ve landed”, he almost whispered at the side of Loki’s head, where Tony was nearest.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah”, Loki answered quickly and started fiddling with his hands instead. Nat was the first one out and as soon as James released him, he started running to her. He opened his arms in front of her in a question and she sighed a little, before hugging him.

“We’re home”, she told him quietly and Loki nodded, releasing her, before she became uncomfortable.

“Missed you. How are you?”

“We’re fine. We still have to talk about Fury and everything, right?”

“How was vacation?”, he asked after a nod.

“Relaxing.”

“That’s good.”

“How was being a cat for a week?”, Nat asked, and patted Loki’s head and he purred, which made her grin.

“It was fine. James took good care of me. And now we take care of each other. We’re both trying to get our diploma.”

“Hey, that’s the stuff _I_ should get to hear first!”, protested Clint behind them and Loki jumped and hugged him tightly.

“Missed you, Dad.”

“Aww, missed you too, Kiddo.” Clint felt Loki’s brow and then nodded. “Good, no fever anymore.”

“Nope, went away.”

“And you’re shifting again.”

“Yep. Only that, though, no missions. Rhodey forbade me. Even though, we’re not doing any anyway.”

“We picked this idiot up along the way.”

Loki looked where Clint was pointing. “Sammy!”, he shouted rushing to him and holding him tight, making the other laugh. He let go of Sam as quick as he had hugged him. “This is awesome. Everyone’s here. Well, almost everyone. Pep and Hap are taking care of Runa for tonight, but May’s coming too. Oh, I’m so excited. Hill’s coming and Jane and Darcy and Selvig. I’m a bit afraid of Selvig, but it’ll be fine, because Thor’s coming and Sleipnir’s coming.”

Loki let out an excited shrill and he got grabbed by James, who just patted his head, making him purr again. “In short”, the man said, “He can’t wait to hug everyone and to have everyone meet all his friends and call them all his family.”

“You must be James.”

James shook his hand with Clint and then nodded to Nat and Sam. “Remember you two. You… A little more.” He stared at Nat and she nodded.

“We met before. When you were still the Soldier and I was still Russian.”

“That makes sense.” He patted Loki’s shoulder with his metal hand and then turned to look at him. “You good?”

“Just excited”, Loki said quicker than his usual speech.

“Good. Why don’t you show Sam your floor? I’m sure _the Falcon_ will be an Avenger in no-time and needs to know how much he really needs to think about moving his life to New York and staying in the tower permanently.”

“Let’s talk about that, after I get fired from my current job. I hear you all still have to pay rent and everything and money’s a bit unstable from S.H.I.E.L.D. right now”, Sam told them.

“Yes. It would be better, if Stark Industries finally started to profit of the Avengers. Things might move a lot smoother. Would you not like to see Loki’s floor then? It’s like another century hit in there. And if that’s nothing for you, you can ask Thor later to see his and go at least three or four back in time.”

Sam laughed. “Okay, I’ll bite, Loki show me your room.”

Loki grabbed his arm and pulled him along, grinning at Tony on the way. “It’s floor, by the way, I got a whole floor for myself”, he told Sam in the elevator.

Sam was gaping, when they walked out. It was colourful with clear lines, rounded edges. There was technology everywhere, it seemed.

“The whole floor is temperature-controlled, and the ventilation system is completely cut off from the other floors, because of an event that happened last year…”

“You getting frozen”, Sam stated.

“Yeah that. Wasn’t fun for Tony, tell you that.”

“You know, I know…”

“Yeah, yeah, but when I’m little, I don’t call him that, it freaks people out and makes me a little uncomfortable. So…” Loki walked into the main room. “Kitchen is over there, I love, love, _love_ cooking and baking and everything that has to do with food. Also means, I feed the Avengers from time to time.”

“I can see, that’s a huge-ass table.”

“Yeah, yeah, I love guests too. But because at night the temperature goes down to 0°C, they aren’t going to stay here. Over here is my living room.”

“Is that a fucking gaming station and a private movie theatre?”

Loki snickered. “Yeah, I still haven’t seen everything everybody else has seen, J.A.R.V.I.S. has a whole list compiled, Steve’s list is longer, though.” He led him around more, opening a door. “An office, I need my books and my computer.”

“Spacey.”

Loki snickered. “Best thing about this place is…” Loki opened a hidden door to a secret room. “My sorcerer room. All I need, it can be locked from the inside, really needed, because even in a thousand years Thor has yet to learn the use of knocking. I can also lock down the whole floor, only Tony can overwrite that command and only if J.A.R.V.I.S. deems it to be for my benefit, which also means there are cameras in all rooms, except the adult area, my bedroom or my bathroom. There are only sensors, so J.A.R.V.I.S. can tell, if I get a fever like Monday.”

“There’s an adult area?”, Sam asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Two rooms. At least one you will never enter. And I call it adult area, because when I’m little, I don’t enter them either.” Loki blushed a little.

“You’re smaller than you were before, right?”, Sam asked, when Loki led him back out.

“Yeah, right now at around eleven, twelve. Happens at the moment, happens a lot less since Tony and I are good again. Happened when everything was going down with HYDRA and when I got sick and now I’m just excited, I’ll probably grow a little, when dinner rolls around.”

Loki opened a door to another room, next to the living room. “A fucking arcade?! Are you kidding me? I could spend _hours_ in here!”

Loki hugged May tightly. The last time he saw her was so long ago. She didn’t even know about the mental age thing then. It hadn’t really become a big issue at that point yet. He had told her on the phone though.

“Happy New Year, Lo.”

“Happy New Year, May.”

He was even more excited introducing her to everyone and everyone in turn to her, than he had been with Sam. May was the only one that had no real connection to any of this. She didn’t fight, she wasn’t a scientist, she was just Loki’s friend.

“You must be the lovely May Parker”, Tony said behind him and Loki grinned at him.

“May, meet Tony Stark.”

“Mister Stark.” May shook his hand. “My nephew is a huge fan. He and his best friend were in the summer camp.”

Tony thought for a moment. “ _Peter_ Parker then?”

“Yes.” May grinned and Tony thought again.

“Oh yeah, his friend wanted to be called Ned by everyone, if I’m correct.”

“That would be him.”

“Smart kids, but all of them were, makes one relieved, that the next generation can carry on and bring the world to next levels.”

“I don’t think everything needs an upgrade, but as long as he’s having fun…”

“Well, as long as the world is getting smarter, let’s hope it’s getting safer as well.”

“No blowing up labs?”

Tony laughed for a moment. “Sometimes blowing up labs tells one what _not_ to do. We all make mistakes and we can only learn from them.”

“Not learning from them would be bad.”

Tony paled slightly. “True. I’m really happy, that Loki has a friend like you, outside all this chaos.”

“He is always welcome at our place. And Runa as well.”

“Of course. If, one day, the people start tearing down our defences, your place might be the first place he and her will look for refuge, while I might have to go a different route and distract the cameras.” Loki got a bad feeling in his stomach and Tony quickly laid a hand on his shoulder. “But let’s first hope that does not happen.”

“Yes.”

“If you have any questions, I am an open book.”

“He already got shit for the whole bond-breaking thing”, Loki stage-whispered to her and Tony looked to the ground.

“As long as you’re keeping your family safe and happy, that is all alright with me.”

“I will do my very best.”

Loki took May’s hand and dragged her around. The introductions to Bruce, Nat, Rhodey and Steve went a bit easier, May, Sam and James decided, they were Loki’s back-up-crew and he lastly left her with Jane and Darcy, who were theorising on if there could be a pattern between Avengers updates and new attacks.

Loki was finally sitting down at the bar, where Nat was mixing drinks and sighed a little. She smiled at him.

“Calmed down a little?”

“I still have a small buzz, but yeah. And I’m in my normal range again, thankfully.”

“I hear you’re gonna see Selvig for the first time since the Battle of New York.”

“Yes. I knew I wouldn’t meet him in London and this… Is it normal to be scared of someone that holds absolutely no power over you?”

“You have a respect for him, I’d guess.”

“Yes. He built a fail-safe, Barton shot Fury into his vest and I assembled the Avengers.”

Nat laughed for a second, with a raised eyebrow. “If you want to call it that.”

“We all had a bit of control, but still I gave them both the orders. You had absolutely no reason to go into battle, until I killed Coulson.”

“Steve might not have. Clint would, and I would have too, because of Clint. Thor as well, Tony just because it’s you.”

“Bruce, because the attack on the Helicarrier made him lose control.”

“Yes.”

“I shouldn’t theorise over the actions back then.”

“It doesn’t do you any good.”

“Yeah”, Loki sighed and fiddled with his hands, until Nat put a glass of scotch down in front of him. “Thanks.”

He turned a little and smiled at the happy faces, before turning back and pondering over the glass.

“Give me one of whatever he’s having”, James said and sat down beside him, as Loki put the glass to his lips and took a sip.

“It won’t affect either of us anyway, James.”

“I’m not drinking it for the buzz or to get drunk and I think you’re not drinking it for those reasons either”, he stated.

“True.”

“And it’s not your brother and not your son and not that Director”, James guessed.

“Maybe the news she brings.”

“Don’t worry about it, kitty-cat, it’s not in your hands. And that Professor ain’t something you can control either. Just let it go.”

“Okay, Sergeant.”

James shoved a little against him and Loki smiled at him. Nat put down the drink in front of James. “So, Barnes, for what reason are you drinking?”, she asked.

“I’m making sure that my friend isn’t drinking alone.”

Loki chuckled a little, before catching his tears. “I got friends”, he said brokenly, and Nat smiled at him.

“Yeah, Loki. Everybody here, tonight, is just here, because of you. For you. Because we had no time to throw a party last year after you got your brother out of prison, and then there was the whole madness thing and getting stabbed in dreams, and getting frozen, and having…”

“I get it, I get it”, Loki cut her off laughing. “I get it, a lot of shit happened last year.”

“And this year didn’t start great either, but we got a minute. We can breathe for a moment, because right now, the Avengers are literally out of work. We have a whole money problem and because of that, we can throw a big party, because any shit happening at the moment, isn’t our fucking job.”

Loki nodded. “But if it _would_ happen anywhere near here, or _would_ be world-threatening, we’d still go out.”

“Only as concerned citizens. We can’t show up in uniform.”

“Which means Rhodey and Tony couldn’t go.”

“But you still could, Clint and me as well, Thor probably not, because his hammer counts as part of his uniform, like Steve’s shield is part of his. And Clint couldn’t shoot with arrows and I couldn’t use my widow-bites.”

Loki snickered a little. “It’s like they want to make this extra hard for all of us.”

“And you couldn’t use your knives.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just use another weapon, maybe I’ll take Clint’s bow.”

Nat smiled at that and made herself a drink. “I’ll drink to that. Or you just make an illusion and make Clint look like Thor, Steve look like Tony, and switch Rhodey and me.”

Loki laughed loudly. “Too bad I can’t use my Seiðr at the moment.”

“Yeah, too bad.”

Nat nodded into the direction of the elevator and James and Loki both turned around, to see Hill walking in with Selvig in tow, who made a beeline for Jane, while she looked around and then came to the bar.

“Director Hill. Nice seeing you here.”

“You as well, Loki. I’m glad to see that you’re alright and brought HYDRA’s biggest weapon down.”

James froze and Loki laid a hand on his back. “He’s not their weapon anymore and they had no right claiming him as theirs, I just freed him from the prison they put in his mind, while he made his own decision in leaving HYDRA behind.”

“Of course. Sergeant Barnes, I hope you don’t take that as that I am not impressed by your skills.”

“My skills and my alliance are two very different things, Director. I am allied with Loki, so while he is allied with you, I will not think badly of you.”

“Not with Captain Rogers then?”

“I remember him, but I also remember the time after him, the time without him, decades without him. That time has changed me, and he has difficulty accepting that such time has passed for me, as it did not for him.”

“I see. But if I’d ask you to join S.H.I.E.L.D., what would your answer be?”

“After I have gotten my diploma maybe.”

“Alright. Agent Romanoff, mind making me something?”

“Sure, Director, what’s your poison?”

Loki left the empty drink and the bar to walk over to Jane’s group.

“Doctor Selvig”, he said, very formal and very much trying to hide his nervousness.

“Loki.” The man looked at him and Loki waited for anything, when the other smiled a little, he felt relieved. “Heard what you did for Jane.”

“Heard the mind-control put you in an institution.”

“It just opened the universe for me.”

“I wonder if that was the Tesseract or the Sceptre talking to you.”

“Have they shown you more?”

“I already know so much, I might have already had the answers they were telling me.”

“I’d say it was the Tesseract.”

“I believe you, Doctor.”

“Have you been well, Loki?”

Loki looked at him strangely and then slowly nodded. “I believe so, Doctor. I got hurt a lot, before and after the Battle, but it is calming down, I hope. Though that might only mean, that people are planning something big.”

“Something as big as the Convergence?”

“Hard to say. I haven’t dreamt of it yet.”

“I’d love to see the universe.”

“Don’t we all?”

“Mind taking me on a ride?”

“As pay-back?”, Loki asked with a laugh.

“Thor’s refusing to.”

“And he might have a good reason. The universe is dangerous, Doctor. Saying even one wrong word might cost you your life in some regions.”

“Even Barton’s seen the universe.”

“Agent Barton had a job to do, Doctor, while you might think of going to the universe is considered part of yours, I don’t think my next long trip across the universe will be considered a joy-ride.”

“And when’s that?”, Jane suddenly asked, and Loki just shrugged.

“Soon, I hope. Once I am well again. I will have to go to Asgard’s healers and see if they approve my travelling.”

“And where will you go?”, Selvig asked.

“A savage place called Knowhere.”

“Nowhere?”, Selvig asked confused.

“Put a ‘k’ in front of that, Doctor. But it will all depend on the approval of the council and if Thor and I can be spared for a few weeks, or however long it might take to find answers. I do not trust myself alone with Taneleer.”

“Why?”, Jane asked.

“For some time, Taneleer and I shared a more intimate space, but that is of no worry, last time I was with him though, he almost convinced me to give myself over to his collection.”

“Collection of what?”

“Beings, materials, the rarest in the universe. It might be, that he will look for an equal trade to the knowledge he might provide.”

“Do you have anything to trade?” Jane seemed a bit worried.

“Asgard has. The Tesseract. But I doubt Odin will want to give it to an unstable place like Knowhere, to an unsavoury being like Taneleer Tivan.”

“So, you have to find something.”

“Not necessarily. And I hope I can make it without staining my relations. The trick might be, to give the Collector a weapon, a weapon like no one before it, a weapon once in the vault of Odin himself.”

“Mjølnir?”

“Yes. If we can trick him, that would be genius. But it also depends on his moods. He might just be in the mood to talk. If that is the case, there might be nothing we would have to give.”

“Sounds a lot like politics.”

“It is. The universe is a place you should not anger and only learn to play like chess over long periods of time.”

“Like the realms.”

“Oh yes, much like the realms. Though I am quite known for my short temper. In the realms that had a few benefits, mainly, the meetings were shorter.”

Doctor Selvig laughed and Jane grinned as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I should say it sometime, because I'm not sure if I already have:  
> After Act 3 will come Interlude, because nothing really big happens in case of the movies, only the two Guardians movies happen later in 2014.  
> 2015 instead will be a ride. I haven't written it all out yet, I have just cursed a few times and hoped something would happen. So if you want to skip Interlude and wait for Act 4, that's up to you, but I'll still hope you'll stick around.
> 
> As always, I love comments, if I haven't tagged something that should be tagged, please tell me, I only see those at the moment and haven't changed them in a while


	18. Everything has Repercussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Team-meeting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I can't believe it's been over a month that I posted Act 3 and almost two months since I've written this chapter. And well, six months writing this fic.

The Avengers were sitting around the meeting table. Tony and Rhodey, Loki and Thor, Nat and Clint, Bruce and Steve. Director Hill was standing up front. She wasn’t alone though. With her were Pepper and on the screen behind her the World Security Council.

Tony stared at Pepper like he wanted to know her secrets.

“What is this about?”, Rhodey finally asked.

“Well, first of all”, Hill started, “Loki’s getting a bit freer reign.”

“As long as…”, Loki started and waited patiently for Hill to continue.

“As long as you wear a tracker and stay on Earth.”

Loki bit back a groan. “What more can be done for me to become a free man?”

“A tracker is quite ordinary for someone on probation”, Rockwell answered, and Loki smiled at him.

“Then I ask, Sirs, Madams, what can I do to complete probation and become a free man? What more do you want? What do you desire me to do?” Loki’s grin was spiteful. He had saved these men’s lives and he still had to live his life in their grasp.

“The public wouldn’t see it well, if you could walk around freely”, Hawley said. She was the one Nat had switched places with, the Brit.

“Have you even _asked_ the public?”

“Mister Odinson, we cannot make such a poll.” Thor frowned for a moment and Loki sighed.

“There will always be people that hate the idea. I will stand before any council, any jury, in any country and let myself be tried again and again, for years, for decades, for _centuries_ to come, until every council, every jury and every country on Earth will see me not guilty. You say you cannot make such polls, but there _are_ already polls. They might just be American polls, but as long as none of us are moving our operations out of America, I don’t believe we need more polls. There are approval polls for me and yes, they might be lower in New York, but they have been steadily becoming better. If you’d ask the people, I bet some might wonder if I wasn’t free before and worry that I might act differently after becoming free.”

“Will you?”

“I have allied myself with this team, long before I became a member, long before I have actively been on missions. I consider these people my family. I’d put my life on the line for every single one of them.”

“You haven’t answered the question”, Singh asked him, the Indian politician.

“I will act differently, Sir. Because I will finally be able to think for myself. I know you might not look that close, but the fires around pine tree stands before the holidays were all handled like _I_ requested. Did that look like chaos to you?”

The council started arguing and Loki now groaned, before letting his hands glide through his hair and peeking at Tony, who just shrugged.

“We will come back to the topic”, Hawley answered, and Loki looked to Hill.

“Stark and Banner are getting promoted from being consultants to active team members.”

“Well that took _way_ too long”, Stark just said and laid back in his chair.

“And the Avengers are working for Stark Industries now. S.H.I.E.L.D. will step into the background and will become a partner. Oversight is the World Security Council through S.H.I.E.L.D.”

“Everything to do with rights has already been handled, Mister Stark”, Pepper said quickly. “S.I. can now profit of everything that has anything to do with the Avengers and these profits will become the piggy-bank of the Avengers. You will be required to be at the tower for a certain number of hours a month, that will be discussed with each member individually, because each member might have their own place and own responsibilities. You will be paid for your work as the Avengers, depending on how much time you have done so. The energy will not cost you, as the whole tower runs on renewable energy, the water that is used, will be checked per floor and it will be the only thing you will have to pay for. Anything used by all Avengers will be paid for by S.I. If you break something, you will have to pay for it. Anything in your apartment, that you have not personally bought, can be bought by you. Otherwise it will still technically belong to S.I.”

“Can we get that written down?”, Nat asked, and Pepper nodded.

“Of course, Agent Romanoff, the contract has been sent to every one of you, when the announcement has been made. You will be required to sign it and make an assessment training at an undisclosed location, overlooked by S.H.I.E.L.D. and S.I., so we know your skills and your control of it. Every one of you will have to go through a weapons test, which does not only include guns, but weapons of your teammates as well. Some of you might take a more defensive position on the team, while others will be offense.”

Loki nodded slowly, before grinning. “So, we will all have to test, if we are worthy?”

Pepper smirked. “Mister Odinson’s hammer will not be one of the weapons you will have to train with, but Mister Odinson himself will have to train with different weapons.”

“But I will not need to use another…”

“Brother just play along”, Loki told him, and Thor nodded.

“I will do my very best, Lady Pepper”, Thor promised.

“Alright. If that will be all, council?”, Hill asked.

“Yes, Director Hill, we will speak further in private.”

“Have a good day.” Hill hung up on them and then visibly calmed. “Damn, I hate having to deal with them.”

“So, did I catch this right?”, Tony asked, “We all get paid for our work and have to pay an amount back for the water used in the tower?”

“Yep”, Pepper said, “Anything like food will be paid for by S.I., unless you buy it yourself. It will then be available on the common floor, and can be moved from there, if you want to eat on another floor, Loki already offered to host a few dinners and lunches.”

“What about new recruits for the Avengers?”, Steve asked.

“They will have to go through the same assessment and training as you have to, which will be three to four times a year”, Hill told them, before working on her laptop and a new face popped onto the screen behind her. Loki froze, as he looked at Coulson and everybody else was as surprised as he was.

“How are you, Director Hill? Avengers, Miss Potts.”

“Director Coulson…”, Hill answered.

“Surprise, I’m still alive”, the man joked, and Loki’s face went pale. Of course, he’d known the man was alive, but he assumed that he’d never see him again. He didn’t even realise, that his face had hit the table, until he felt the hurt coming from his forehead. He rubbed at it, slowly, before he righted himself.

“Excuse me, Director”, he mumbled, “That was very… This is a surprise. So, it is a co-direction again?”

“Coulson’s leading the underground, I’m leading the public, yes, Loki”, Hill told him.

“Good, well, if I may apologise for killing you. Director Coulson, I am deeply sorry I cannot right that wrong.”

Coulson seemed a little paler at that himself. “What’s past is past, Loki. You and Barton were on the same boat on that one, as far as I’m concerned. I’m sorry it took us all too long to believe that you really weren’t the bad guy.”

“I did destroy a small town in New Mexico.”

“You weren’t of sound mind there either, Brother”, Thor tried to argue.

“I was of enough sound mind to rule Asgard. I may have started to go mad, but I was aware enough.”

“And raging with jealousy.”

“More like pissed that nobody was doing what their king ordered. Moving on… I hope you and your team are relatively well”, Loki said to Coulson.

“We had a rough first week, the second was going a bit better, one of our team is out, another was down…” Coulson sighed. “But thank you for asking, Loki. I heard you turned into a cat.”

Loki rolled his eyes and Tony jumped up. “Watch this, Agent.” He patted Loki’s head and then massaged Loki’s neck, making him purr loudly, before pushing his lover away, as red as a tomato.

“Tony!”

Tony grinned at him. “So, will you and your team come by sometime? We can host you.”

“I don’t think that’s in the definition of underground.”

“Aww, come on, Agent”, Tony almost begged.

“Director”, Loki told him.

“It’s his nickname, right Pep?”

Pepper rolled her eyes, as well as Coulson.

“I hope we can all work well together. And I still expect those signed trading cards, Rogers”, Coulson said to the room.

“Yes, Sir.”

Coulson nodded for the moment and then looked to Nat and Clint. “Romanoff, Barton, you’ve been well?”

“As well as it can be”, they answered in chorus.

“Good. Stay safe, don’t get yourself killed. That goes for all of you.”

Hill gave a small smile. “Anything else, Director?”

“If I call, you better answer.”

Tony laughed loudly at that and Loki smirked too. “No life model decoys then.”

“I know you hate talking to people, Mister Stark, so I’ll be calling Banner or Rogers instead.”

“I do talk to people, I’m just not always in the mood”, Tony answered with a shrug towards Loki.

“And they still call you a playboy.”

Tony gaped at Hill. “He doesn’t know?”

“Nope”, the woman said. “The public still doesn’t know.”

“What’s your stance on that, Hill, can the public know? Because I personally want the public to know.”

“Miss Potts and I have talked about it, yeah there might be hate incoming, but overall, it would do only good for the public image of you and the Avengers. As long as you don’t go too closely into the timeline.”

“What is he talking about?”, Coulson asked, brow furrowed.

“I’m fucking taken”, Tony answered, and Loki rolled his eyes.

“Who would ever take you, Stark? No offense, Miss Potts.”

Loki sighed loudly and looked over to Tony, before letting his gaze fall upon Coulson. “Really, the stroking of my neck didn’t tell you?”

“You? Well, colour me surprised.”

“What colour is surprised?”, Thor asked Loki confused.

“I think it’s something between beige and pink.”

Thor nodded slowly. “I still don’t get it, why should we paint him in that colour?”

“Humans are weird. It’s actually ‘call me surprised’.”

“I could make a dad-joke out of this”, Tony answered and giggled.

“Don’t you dare, or your bed will be empty tonight.”

“Aww, yes, I’m getting…” Loki slapped his hand onto Tony’s mouth.

“I am very sorry for my husband’s filthy mouth, Director Coulson.”

“Oh, no worries, I’m used to him”, Coulson answered with a wave of dismissal.

“That is still no excuse.” Loki turned to Tony. “If I will spend centuries with you, you better grow yourself some manners, Mister Stark.”

“Will do, Mister Stark”, Tony breathed, and Loki turned red.

“Is this meeting over, Directors?”

Hill nodded and Coulson as well. Loki grabbed Tony’s hand and dragged him behind himself out of the room, the smaller giggling on their way to the elevator.

“You are insatiable”, Loki whispered, pressing him against the side of the elevator.

“You love me for it.”

“Oh yes, I do.” Loki nipped at Tony’s ear and opened his collar, before pulling his dress-shirt from his slacks and letting his fingers run over the side of his flesh. “But dear, if you could keep it down, while other people are around, we might just stop looking like teenagers that can’t keep their hands off each other.”

“But I want everyone to know I’m yours. Which floor are we going anyway? Penthouse or yours?”

“J.A.R.V.I.S., my floor please and make sure nobody else can get in, if the messages are urgent…”

“If they become urgent, I will play them for you”, J.A.R.V.I.S. answered.

“Good.” Loki pulled Tony close and kissed his neck, making the other shiver and moan in his hold.

“Will you top, or will I?”

“I’m not sure yet”, Loki answered, “What do you want?”

“I’m up for both. Though being filled by you is…”

Loki pressed his mouth on Tony’s. “You filthy sweet-talker.”

“I still have to start giving you presents, wooing you.”

“You will receive one tonight, if you’re good.”

“I’ll be fantastic”, Tony answered, and Loki lifted him, when the elevator pinged. “Where are we going?”, Tony asked a second later.

“The adult area. Mama gets to play.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's a wrap. I had planned on starting posting the next work in the series in two days, but right now I gotta see and plan everything for university. Vacation is over, next time I post it'll hopefully be from my trusted PC instead of this laptop.
> 
> Let me know what you think. Thoughts and ideas are always appreciated, Interlude has already over 40.000 words and 17 finished chapters, so things might already happen, it's not done though.  
> I couldn't get to everything I wanted in Act 3, because the timing was always so close together and some things just need time to develop.


End file.
